Pumpkins and a visit

Yesterday was a great day. My Mom drove the 3 hours to visit us for the day and we loved it. While Jay was at school, Rose soaked up the one-on-one Grama attention with piles of books. I soaked up some food that she brought, along with good conversation. She made us dinner and a batch of bread. AND unloaded/loaded the dishwasher. I felt so relaxed and happy at the end of the day instead of worn out and cranky like my giant pregoself usually is after 12 hours of awake time. It was a peaceful happy day.

 

We love Grama Meri!

In other news…it’s pumpkin time! A few weeks ago, our friends invited us to come get pumpkins from the flourishing pumpkin patch in their yard. They had at least a hundred! So we drove over and each selected a pumpkin, with an extra for baby Amber, just in case (sigh, if only). I felt kind of bad because on the way there, Jay was saying how he wanted to pick a big big big pumpkin. When he found a nice large one, I jokingly said “how are you going to carry that to the van?” thereby unwittingly destroying his desire for a large pumpkin. Poor Jay! In spite of my best efforts to assure him that Jeff would carry the big one for him, he picked a regular sized one instead and insisted on carrying it to the car himself. Rude mom-moment! Sorry Jay!

In keeping with boring wimpy pregnant Shaina, I did not actually carve my own pumpkin this year. I “helped” Jeff carve one a few weeks ago at a friend’s house and then I helped Rose do hers this week. That was plenty for me this year. Did you know it kind of takes abs to cut, scoop, and carve a pumpkin? Yep, and I sure don’t have any of those right now. I was out of breath after a few scoops while I helped Rose with her pumpkin. Whew, but we made it through and here’s what it looked like:

 

[they were mildly grossed out at first]

[but not for long]

This is the first year that Jay and Rose both cleaned out most of the pumpkin guts on their own. It was awesome.

Words of wisdom from Jeff, after laboriously helping Jay carve a face on his pumpkin: “the hardest part about helping a kindergartener do something is not doing it yourself.” Yes.

Rose gave hers lots of freckles after I put the face on it. I let her pick what shapes she wanted for the eyes, nose, and mouth, and then how many teeth she wanted. Then she decorated it with dots.

It was raining outside when we put out the pumpkins, so I couldn’t quite get the glowing pumpkin picture of my dreams, but rest assured I did try, however briefly. That blasted porch railing covered up the 2 week-old pumpkin that is currently molded to our front step—literally. White mold is fluffing out its back and the whole inside is black and oozing juice. Very Halloweeny.

We only had 2 tea lights left from last year so I improvised with two of our big decorative candles just for the picture. After briefly admiring the glow, we carefully removed those fancy candles and put them back in their wall sconces in the family room. They were nice and big for those giant pumpkins, though—there’s something to be said for a candle to match the pumpkin size.

[Amber’s pumpkin remains uncarved]

[As does mine]

One more week!

Big news

1. PEANUT BUTTER is back in my life! Pregnancy has caused me to hate peanut butter for the past 8.5 months. If you’re at all familiar with Normal Shaina, you know that she adores peanut butter. These past few peanut butterless months have been rough all over. I always have PBJ for lunch! What could possibly fill that void? I kept trying to eat peanut butter, but I never got past the smell. Then on Sunday I decided to try again. Strategically, I packed myself a PBJ sandwich to eat in the parking lot right after church, when I’m usually desperate enough to eat anything marginally palatable. It worked! I have had PBJ for lunch every day since Sunday. Today I actually had two PBJ-wiches for lunch because I used the skinny end of the bread (I’m notoriously bad at making normal, evenly sized loaves of bread).

2. Rose and I went to the library yesterday. We have not gone since school started almost 2 months ago. It is so hard to get out when I feel so heavy and slow, especially when the library has weird operating hours which are mainly during my afternoon naptime. But it was open yesterday morning, so Rose and I braved the unusually rainy gloom and drove the mile down the street to our library. We had to restrain ourselves only to check out our usual 13 books. My strategy to get all the books back in time is always to check out the same number of books so all we have to do is count them and we know if we’re missing any. Easy. So yesterday, we picked our 13 books and Rose relished being able to have the self-checkout scanner all to herself (when Jay comes they have to take turns). She carefully scanned and swiped each book. She was so careful, in fact, that the computer kept timing out and it took like 10 minutes for all the books to be scanned. Eventually we made it back out into the rain where I had to work hard to remember how to even use the windshield wipers in the van because it rains so rarely here. Fresh reading material reminds me how much I actually do like reading stories to my kids.

3. After a relaxing [lengthy] phone conversation with my Mom this morning, I found myself with a new hairstyle:

"Mommy, your hair is dun (gonna) be so byou-tay-full (beautiful). I wike (like) your hair. It's so pretty. Your hair is so turful (colorful)."

Numbers

Let’s do a little math:

9 – 8.5 = .5 of a month left

40 - 38 = 2 weeks left

280 – 266 = 14 days left

Today is the 38 week mark. Wahoo! 2 weeks left! I’m eight and a half months pregnant. Lucky ducky Shaina. I find myself trying to decide which end of pregnancy is the longest, but I really can’t tell. The barf-a-thon beginning feels slow because starving to death while puking my eyeballs out is disgusting and exhausting. But the belly-is-big at the end feels slow because there’s no guaranteed day or time that it will be over. It could be today. It could be two weeks from today. It could be any time in between. OR (heaven forbid) it could be three or even four weeks from today [eeew, not going to think those thoughts]. Historically I have had on the due date or one day after deliveries. So I’m not hoping very much for anything earlier. But I know from that one day late baby (Rose) that even one extra day of pregnancy is nightmarish. I’m doing my best to keep the look-how-far-I’ve-come perspective rather than the how-much-longer-will-this-actually-take viewpoint. Usually I fail, but those numbers up above help a little. I’ve come a long way!

143 – 9 = 134 pounds at my barfiest

134 + 9 = 143 pounds at the halfway point

143 + 27 = 170 pounds right now

175 = how much my husband weighs

I’ve never really been one to weigh myself or care about a number on the scale. We don’t even have a scale at our house. I’m glad never to have been plagued by that concern. What matters to me is how I feel. So I hope it’s not weird for me to mention my weight. I’ve found that some things that I think other people will think are strange are not actually strange and there’s no way to know what really counts as strange because everyone is different. SO, since it amuses me, I’m going to talk about how much I weigh right now. I’m not comparing or judging or ANYTHING lame like that. BOOM.

Yesterday I had [another] doctor appointment, and when I stepped on the scale I was amused to see a 169.8 on the screen. That’s basically 170. Pounds. No WONDER I feel so tired, achy, and heavy all the time. I mean, I’m 6 feet tall so 170 is not really that unusual, especially at 8.5 months pregnant. The heaviest I ever managed with my previous pregnancies was 165. Since this pregnancy has been light years worse than the other ones, I think it’s kind of impressive that I managed to gain more than ever before. What exactly do I eat, anyways? Still not sure.

Maybe I have no clue about weight in general, but I don’t think I look like I weigh 170 pounds, even as a 6 foot tall 8.5 month pregnant lady. That’s why my weight amuses me, especially when people want to talk about my stomach. I can surprise pretty much anyone by pulling out my weight gain. Say what? Half the people who feel the need to comment on my size say  “you’ve grown” or “you look bigger” and the other half say “you are small!” or “you are all belly!” I think all of these comments apply. Yes, I probably have grown and therefore look bigger, and that growth makes my puny un-muscled limbs look small, thus accentuating the ballooning belly. While I’m complimenting myself, I have to add that I am doing a stellar job of kindly accepting all kinds of comments without rude or cranky retorts. I have only snapped once at a belly comment this whole pregnancy, and I still feel bad about it (my poor mother in law).

Jeff has been joking for months about how I could be heavier than he is at some point during this pregnancy. I always said “you wish!” Then I hit 170. I guess we’ll see in the next 2 weeks whether or not his absurd dream comes true, ha ha. 

Peace out. I mean…2 WEEKS LEFT!

October Album

Today was a rough day in the life of Prego-Shaina. I had at least two pregnancy meltdowns involving HUNGER and a lack of food inspiration. I swear I am starving to death to grow this miniature human. My medicine keeps me from puking when I’m hungry, but it still lets me feel extreme hunger! How is my appetite still growing? It’s impossible to keep up. Every single day for the past 262 days I have had this thought at least once: “how am I going to make it?” I know I will, but IT IS HARD! It’s the battle of the bodies. Amber is winning. I need some happy thoughts, so I thought I’d post all the everyday pictures that have fallen between the cracks so far this month.

 
Rose has been taking afternoon naps with me more often than not this week. It’s funny because when she falls asleep her snoring/loud breathing usually wakes me up from my nap.

 

I tried sitting her up to wake her up…ha ha ha.

Jay has had two stomach bugs this month, poor guy. Mostly they’ve been on the weekend, but to be safe he stayed home from school a day for each bug too, even though he didn’t act sick. PJ play day for the kids!

“Mommy, tan you may pwease take a picture of me?”

On Monday, Rose and I went to the Tri Cities together: Goodwill, Target, and Costco. After the errands, we indulged in pedicures. It was only my second-ever pedicure and it was wonderful. Every large pregnant person should get one. It is so worthwhile not to have to figure out how to bend down and take care of those far-away toenails! And it helps that this place is an affordable $20 job.

Rose sat next to me, watching the game show channel while I had a divine foot and leg rub. She said she didn’t want the lady to do her toes.

While my toes were drying, Rose changed her mind and decided that she did want her toenails painted. So the cute lady painted them pink with a layer of sparkles on top.

Admiring our pretty toes.

Homework time!

One Monday during family home evening, Sasquatchette visited our house. During the lesson, Rose stripped and started running around with her shirt on her head. We were cracking up. What was that lesson about again?

Jay harvested the 4 carrots that survived when he poured some seeds into our pansy pot last spring. He was pretty excited, and he ate them right down.

 

Rose accessorizes like a pro: hair ties for rings and headbands for bracelets. She’s set.

We don’t know what color Jay’s eyes are. But those freckles!

Sunday lunch is usually a Jeff special. Jeff lets the kids request what they want, and usually it’s crepes. Jay put a “chef hat” on and wanted to try flipping a crepe himself this week.

Rose likes to help with the mixing.

Horse and carriage.

 
Matching shirts!

My kids. I feel better already.

Real life service

The topic of post has been on my mind for a while now. I’ve been putting it off for two reasons: 1. because it’s an tender, emotional subject for me (I hate crying!) and 2. because I want to do it justice but my brain continues to feel fuzzy and unequal to the task. Well, time keeps a-ticking and figuring out what to say is not getting any easier, so I guess I’ll just have to do my best with what I’ve got and hope it works out ok.

As I have been feeling better in some ways and worse in other ways at the end of this pregnancy, I have been reflecting on the pregordeal as a whole. It’s always risky to think too much about it all because I inevitably have PTSD flashbacks to that wrenching weak feeling of a 14th hurl in a day, or I get overwhelmed by thoughts of all that people have done (and are doing) to help me and my family through this rough patch. And those thoughts make me cry. But as a lifelong journal-er, I know the value of good solid retrospective writing, and since this one involves SO many people, I thought it should go on the blog instead of tucked privately in my journal. It’s always a little scary to post something so tender and close to my heart on the internet, but here goes anyways.

When I was bracing myself for the onslaught of another pregnancy, I thought I was relatively well-prepared for all the possible trials headed my way. I also felt like I knew more or less what to expect from kind family and ward members who may help along the way. To a certain extent I was ready. I knew I’d get painfully ill and that our awesome ward and my dear family would step in and help take care of us. Even though I experienced similar sickness and service two years ago, I was surprised to find that living through it all again was just as hard, if not harder, than it was the first time. Yes, the sick-part was worse this time and the pregnancy (thankfully) lasted more than 3 months too. But what has really blown me away is how the people helping us out have matched the intensity of my pregnancy!

Here’s a small sample of what we’ve been freely given:

1. The Sunday after I told the Facebook world that I was pregnant (I was about 6 weeks along), a sister in our ward came up to me and said “ok, Shaina how are you? What do you need? How about I make you a list of sisters who can watch your kids?” By the end of church, she handed me a paper with at least 7 or 8 names of people who had volunteered to watch Jay and Rose while Jeff was at work. And that’s what those kind ladies did—every weekday someone came and took Jay and Rose for the day while Jeff was gone. It was an enormous help, especially for that 2 week stint when I had to go to the hospital every single day, for 5 hours a day.
2. When things got out of control and I had to stay in the hospital for 8 days, four different people brought me flowers. One family visited me and brought me some Calvin and Hobbes comic books to read because they knew I probably didn’t want anything too mentally taxing to pass the time. They were right! It was perfect. One sister came, talked with me and listened to me, and then gave me a wonderful gift: a big, strong, long, hug. I was frail, nauseous, trapped in a hospital bed, and had not bathed recently, but she asked me if I wanted a hug and I realized that YES! I did! Again, it was perfect.
3. Three times a week for a few months while I was really sick, ward members brought my family dinners. Dinner three times a week for 4 months is a lot of food. I can’t even come close to listing all the amazing people who helped us in this way.
4. A few times, people came and actually cleaned my house! It was the most humbling feeling to watch a friend vacuum and mop and do dishes in my own house for me while I laid limply in the background. It was just what I needed. My Mom also came and stayed to help us twice. She cleaned and cooked and waited on me hand and foot. Best Mom EVER award!
5. And I can’t finish this list without putting my dear, amazing husband on it. He was not only a single parent for 5 months, but also a nurse to me: helping me out of my chair, enduring my gags, bringing me food, driving me to the hospital over and over, and lending me rock-solid moral support. Yes, he is the best of the best. I mean, even now he’s still the main cook in our house since I still hate food. 

I wish I could remember every single person and every single contribution individually! But my eyes are puffy and I have a small mound of tissues on the desk. So I’ll stop the list there, even though I know it could be MUCH longer.

Hearing stories about service is nice, but experiencing REAL LIFE SERVICE is completely amazing. Serving others feels good, but receiving much-needed, can’t-live-without-it service is indescribable. Being completely unable to take care of my family is possibly one of the hardest things about the bad prego-sickness I had. Feeling sick and puking a zillion times a day was awful, but not being able to do anything for anyone was so paralyzing and frustrating. I was a Mom and I could not do my relatively straightforward job of housework, cooking, and caring for my family. It meant more than I can say to have kind friends come in and do it all for me, especially when I knew they had to go home and do it all again for their own families. I feel such a bond of love and respect for all the selfless people who gave their time, energy, and resources to help us out. 

A little over a week ago, my friends hosted a baby shower for me. I was not expecting to have one since this is my second girl. And people came, and they brought gifts too! I was blown away at their kindness. While we were sitting there talking and enjoying the evening, I looked around and realized that every single woman in that room had already given me so much more than a cute gift bag. Each one had given me the gift of REAL LIFE SERVICE over and over and over…and over. Yikes I can’t type about this without sniffling and tearing up. [tissue break] When I realized how much these sisters had already done for me I wondered “why are they here at the baby shower? They are too nice! I don’t technically need anything for this baby.” Then I realized that real life service isn’t just about need, it’s about LOVE! Love. I have never felt so loved as I have during this prego-ordeal. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but also one of the the most amazing experiences of my whole life! I know that the Lord loves us and he takes care of us through real life service. He acts through others. His way is the best way, and I’m so thankful for it.

The amazing thing is that the kindness and service has not stopped even now, when I’m not nearly as helpless or pathetic as I was for the first two thirds of the pregnancy. People are still helping us out. This week on two separate nights when, as usual, I was completely drawing a blank for dinner, meals were delivered to our door. Twice. For the past few weeks, our stairs have needed a good vacuuming. They get the most wear and tear of all the carpet, and I hate not taking care of it—I don’t want our house to get nasty just because I’m pregnant. But vacuuming stairs is hard even not pregnant! It about does me in when I have this giant belly to hoist around—well, most cleaning makes me ache and have contractions these days. Then one of the young women leaders in our ward posted this on Facebook: “Does anyone need service from 7 cute beehives tonight? Clean your kitchen, clean windows inside, vacuum your stairs? Anyone anyone???” Instantly I knew this was yet another tender mercy from the Lord just for me. I mean, she didn’t write “vacuum.” She wrote “vacuum your stairs!” It was perfect. I wrote back to her instantly and that night, the advertised cute 12 year old girls spent an hour cleaning our house. They didn’t just vacuum the stairs—they cleaned a bathroom, vacuumed the whole upstairs, dusted, and washed windows. It was JUST what I needed, right when I needed it.

“We cannot always lift the burden of one who is troubled, but we can lift her so she can bear it well.”
–Elaine L. Jack.

I love that quote. To me, that is the definition of REAL LIFE SERVICE. It’s not always the burden itself that can be lifted (as much as I wish someone could help me carry around this 20 pounds of nausea). But real life service lifts the person so he/she can endure the trial well. I have felt this over and over and over for the past 8 months, and I am so thankful for all the earthly angels who have been inspired to come lift me.

24 more days…

The yearly apple butter

Last week we got two boxes of free apples from Jeff’s across-the-hall buddy the AG teacher at the high school. I was hoping beyond hope that I’d be able to conjure up enough energy to make apple butter, but I was not feeling it. The apples sat around for a few days smelling deliciously autumnal, but getting softer and softer by the hour. Finally I figured out a compromise: only do half the work. I made the apple butter but didn’t seal it in jars. I simply froze it instead, even though our freezer is tiny. I found a set of plastic 1 quart freezer containers on trusty Amazon that worked quite nicely.

Thank goodness for my compromise because peeling and boiling the apples about did me in! Jeff gave me foot rubs every night to counteract the agonies of prego apple buttering. By last Friday, though, the apple butter was DONE. I made 9 quarts, 8 of which are taking up a quarter of our freezer space. But it is space well-used because now we can eat apple butter EVERY DAY all winter long. Yum.

Rose helped me peel apples a little, but I have to confess that I didn’t have the stamina to stand around and watch her peel all two dozen apples for a batch of butter. So I let her peel 4 or 5 and then took over to get `em done. Somehow Jay persuaded me to do a batch before school started one day so he could crank the apple peeler too.

 

I peeled and cut the apples, then boiled them soft on the stove. After that, there was a huge bowlful of hot fresh apple juice leftover. Rose and I drank it by the mug-full. YUM. Apple juice has been the ONLY thing that I have liked for this entire pregnancy, and the fresher the better.

I used my hand blender to puree the soft apples with the brown sugar, cinnamon, cloves, and balsamic vinegar. Then it was into the crock pot to bubble for the rest of the day. I propped the lid open with spoons to let the liquid evaporate so the apple butter would thicken and taste richer. Bonus—it made our house smell like heaven! Who needs Scentsy and candles? I prefer REAL smells.

It took a long time to cool in those big quart containers, so I put them in the open window.

I posted the recipe 2 years ago, so click HERE if you want it.

I can hardly believe that this was my fourth year in a row making apple butter. That’s the main reason I forced myself to do it—I’m so used to having this manna on my toast that I’m not sure I could live a year without it!

Wendelin-fest!

That’s what we’ve been calling a certain book celebration event in Puyallup, WA: Wendelin-fest. One of my favorite authors, Wendelin Van Draanen, was in town at Puyallup over the weekend. Puyallup is a mere 3.5 hour drive from Grandview, so naturally I heaved my 8 months (!) pregnant self into the van and WENT TO PUYALLUP! Puyallup is kind of fun to say—it’s not poo-yall-up, it’s peew-all-up. I’m going to try to stop using Puyallup in every sentence now, but no promises.

Ok, back to the book-fest: Wendelin wrote an awesome mystery series about a girl named Sammy Keyes. I have loved those books for years. They are funny and clever and Sammy is just so lovable. A few weeks ago, the eighteenth and final book in the series was published. So a few choice book-lovers in Puyallup organized a Sammy Keyes party. My Mom and I attended it together on Saturday night. There was an on-stage author interview. There were two rock bands—Wendelin played in one with her family! [she has a family band with her husband and two sons] There was a conga line! Converse high tops were tromping all over the place. It was a loud happy gathering. While I am a happy person, I am not a loud person, so mostly I observed the festivities from behind my bulging belly. I did get in line and have my copy of Sammy Keyes and the Kiss Goodbye signed by the author, the editor, and the illustrator. That was pretty sweet. Maybe next time a much-respected person is in town I’ll actually do more than say a muffled hi—like maybe I’ll remember to take a picture? That would be smart!

After the rockin’ party, I stayed in Bellevue with my Mom and we had a quiet Sunday together watching General Conference before I heave-ho-headed home on Sunday afternoon. It was a fast 24 hour visit—I wanted to stay about a week longer—but now that Jay is in school and all that, we can’t just abandon Grandview as often as we used to.

Jeff manfully held down the fort and the kids while I was partying with librarians. Of course it all hit HIM in the short time I was gone: Rose had like 3 disgusting potty accidents and Jay started puking. Selfish Shaina says it was a great time for me to leave and Responsible Shaina says yikes, my poor Husband!

Not to be creepy or anything, but I had to—just for fun—since I didn’t manage to take a real picture:

Hanging out with Wendelin.

Baby room for a baby

This is the first time that I have had the inclination, motivation, and permission to decorate a baby room. When I was pregnant with Jay and also Rose, we were students or underemployed and renting temporary apartments. We used what little funds we did have to buy things like clothes and diapers for the baby, not paint and decorations. Needless to say, I have never decorated a “nursery” before. I’m not the decorating type anyways, so it never really bothered me.

This time around, we have had this empty, white third bedroom with a white crib in it for the past two and a half years. I thought, why not go out with a bang? Last baby, last (only) paint and decor job. Yes! Over the summer, I enlisted my husband in the cause to paint Amber’s walls (he actually volunteered to paint for me—probably out of fear that I’d end up in the hospital again if I got too nauseated from the fumes). I bought a gallon of muted asparagus-colored paint and he closed the door and painted the room. When I opened the door the next day to see the finished product, however, I was appalled to find that asparagus seems to be code for neon lime green! A few weeks later, the solution presented itself in the form of leftover paint from my parents’ lake house. They kindly gave us the perfect sage green paint of my dreams, and Jeff patiently repainted the walls. Whew!

Post-paint job, I slowly made and added bits and pieces of ideas gleaned from Pinterest and the vague image in my head until baby Amber’s room was looking quite decor-ific by my standards. So in celebration of the 35/35 mark (35 weeks down, 35 days to go) today, I’ll reveal The Room.

A quick word on the budget: one of the reasons I’m no decorator is all the best quality cute decor is waaaaay out of my price range—and it’s not worth it to me at this point. We still have important things like a new roof, fence, and garage door to save up for. I can’t go using up our savings on things like plush furniture and fancy curtains! So this room was painted, furnished, and decorated for less than $120. Triumph!

I used the panorama picture tool on my iPad to take a few funky pictures for the full effect:

If you’re curious, here’s the breakdown:

• Paint and supplies—$40 (that’s what we spent on the first batch, then my parents kindly donated the final paint)
• Crib—already had it, but it was free from Jeff’s parents when we had Jay (it’s been in the family for 50+ years)
• Branch above the crib—from our backyard
• Birdhouse on the branch—I made it out of cardboard, ha ha.
• Chair—a super comfy Lazy Boy rocker recliner, $30 from Goodwill (score!)
• Footstool by the chair—my Grama Brown made it.
• White nightstand: $13 from Goodwill, plus white paint/primer= $20 total.
• Big frame on the wall—$5. Leslie (Jeff’s mom) gave it to me a 2 years ago. I bought $5 of fabric and covered the frame’s canvas painting in the fabric and then hung ribbons across for clothes-pinning up pictures.
• Two white wall shelves—$10, including brackets and paint. I already had the wood.
• Dresser—we found it sitting next to the dumpster in our apartment’s parking lot back in College Place. Free!
• Wreath above changing table/dresser: $5. I actually bought the flowers and arranged them onto the wreath all by myself! I know it’s not much, but that was quite the achievement for me.
• Valence above window—$9—I made it! $5 for fabric and $4 for the curtain rod and brackets from Ikea.
• Anything else I put in the room, we already had.

Whew! I love to go in and sit in the comfy chair to rest/daydream. That chair was seriously a FIND. Its lumbar support is unequalled in all of our other furniture. And it wasn’t even stinky or dirty or anything! One word: GOODWILL. This room is my baby sanctuary.

5 weeks left!