A few days ago when I was writing
the list about all of the “big little things” my siblings are involved in, I
tried to view myself objectively and see
which of my activities could be added to the list as well. The main Thing that
I kept circling back around to was running, and how a few weeks ago I ran a
half marathon, blah blah blah. I left running off the list mainly because it
did not fit the magnitude of type things I was listing, but I had another
reason too: there is so much more to me than running! I don’t want to be known
as “the runner!” (even if I do love to run). When I listed words describing
myself on the “Shaina” tab in the menu at the top of this blog, I purposefully
put a bunch of important things between myself and running. The main reason
“runner” didn’t go last on the list was because I didn’t want it to stand out
too much.
Running is something I do but it is
not who I am. Being a wife, mother, sister, friend, introvert, and Mormon are
far more integral to my Shaina-ness than running could ever hope to be. My
enjoyment of running is enhanced–even defined–by my other attributes, but
running itself is not a personality trait or defining characteristic. When we
introduce ourselves or try to describe ourselves, it’s interesting how often
interests take the place of characteristics. Compare intro A and intro B:
A. “Hi, my name is Shaina and I
am a reader, writer, and runner”
B. “Hi, my name is Shaina and I
am a mother, a Mormon, and an introvert.”
There is so much more SCOPE for
conversation and connection in intro B than intro A! (although as an introvert
I am unlikely to introduce myself with anything more than my name–haha.) I do
like to find out people’s interests, but our interests do not necessarily
define us. Intro A should say “Hi, my name is Shaina and I enjoy reading,
writing, and running.” That shifts the activities to their place as interests
rather than characteristics. How sad would it be if I defined myself as a
reader and then went blind like my sweet grandma? How sad would it be if I
defined myself as a runner and then became too arthritic to continue running?
My interests may enhance me, but they do not define me.
During my sophomore year of
college thirteen (!) years ago, my roommate and I were feeling the weight of
our membership on the college cross country team. The workouts were long and
hard, we spent most weekends on long road trips traveling to races, we rarely
spent time with people who were not on our team, we talked about running a LOT,
and we felt somewhat lost in the middle of such a big tiring activity. Don’t
get me wrong–we had such a fun coach and the best teammates and we loved spending
time with them. But we were in a constant state of physical exhaustion from our
efforts at cross country practices, and it affected what we chose to do outside
of cross country. We would ride the elevator instead of walking up the nifty
historic wide staircase to our third floor dorm room. We would lounge around
our room and moan about our throbbing legs. We would sometimes choose to stay
home nursing our tired legs rather than go out.
As FUN, fulfilling, and
worthwhile as running on the college cross country team was, we wanted more
from our college experience than just running! So we sat down together and
wrote a list of goals for the semester. I remember just one of our goals from
that list because it is still important to me now:
Don’t let running take over life!
In other words, there is more to
life than running. We vowed to treat running like any other activity and not
make other decisions based on how hard our workout had been that day. It was a
simple shift in perspective that turned out to be incredibly liberating.
Running no longer controlled me! If I wanted to play a game of frisbee on the
way home from practice, I did. If I wanted to join an intramural team, I did.
Yes, my legs were still shaky-tired after interval workouts and walking up the sweeping
central staircase in Main Hall was not easy. I remember sitting and resting
halfway up some days, or clinging to the railing hand over hand and
panting/laughing the whole way up, but I was FREE from the control of running!
It is a lesson that has stuck
with me. When I was pregnant and could not run for all of those months, I was
still Shaina. Running is peripheral to my SELF. Now when I get up and run six
miles on a weekday morning, I keep chugging along through the day, doing normal
daily activities even if my legs feel tired. When my mom was visiting the day I
ran my half marathon, I suggested we go for a walk that afternoon. My mom was
surprised I wanted to go on a walk because I had already run so far that
morning. I told her the same story, that I try not to let running take over my
life. Every run has a beginning and an end, but LIFE only has one beginning and
one end! I let each run end and keep living life in between.
I know plenty of people who run
for exercise but feel hesitant to call themselves official “runners” because
they don’t feel dedicated enough or fast enough or haven’t been running for
long enough to warrant such a weighty label. Let’s do away with the “I am” part
and just say “I enjoy running” or simply, “I run”. That removes the burden
of a nebulous commitment to the running
community.
So am I a runner? No. I am a
human who likes to run.
Throwback picture to the start of an SVU cross country race circa 2005. Good times. I am the green uniform located on the far left of the picture.
Hanging out with my best friend/college roommate Lauren, aka Laurs, at a cross country meet circa 2006. Seriously, the best of memories.
Now for running anecdotes and pictures from the month of May:
One Saturday at the beginning of May, Rose and I went on a run together. I let her choose where we ran, and she enjoyed being in charge so much that we ended up running two whole miles nonstop!
Rose has unparalleled energy and joie de vivre.
This month I found a new favorite route along Reeves Road out in the peaceful countryside, and the rolling rustic scenery charms my little heart every time I run along that dusty road.
Blue roan horse, blue sky, rolling vineyards and orchards: I love Reeves Road!
Me, the mint, and the mountain. The cool morning breeze is deliciously fresh after blowing across the huge fields of mint. Mmmm.
Hops crops: I find the tall slanting poles visually striking.
Last Saturday I ran one of my 7 mile loops but got distracted in some gorgeous orchards and ended up taking a scenic 3 mile detour. Worth it!
Last week I discovered that my hair is long enough to stay in a bun while I run, for the first time in years! I’m still working on my run-bun technique. Also: when the sky is so beautiful and I’m running with the sun at my back, I turn my visor around so I have a wider view.
Out on Reeves Road this week, I encountered a massive turkey standing right in the middle of the road. He slowly strutted off to the side as I approached. Then he stopped, turned his CREEPY head towards me, and stared me down with his beady turkey eye. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad nervous. I saw a coyote about half a mile further down the road, but he was way too scruffy and scrawny to even hope to eat the massive morsel that this turkey provided. This picture is not excellent because I was too busy worrying about the turkey’s intentions to remember details like camera angle, framing, and light source. Trust me, the turkey was close to knee high on me and a solid boulder of a bird.
Early morning on the canal.
It was hard to capture all of the different pieces of the patchwork of orchards and irrigation behind me.
This arrow is always pointing right at Mt. Adams on the horizon. Another favorite road.
Finished!
