Celebrating Jay

Jay had a nice prolonged birthday this year, with family festivites on his actual birthday, and a party two days later. He lived it up. Or I should say, he Lego'd it up. The boy loves Legos. So a birthday with Lego presents was Jay-heaven. He was so excited on his birthday that at one point he told me "I love myself right now." I thought his way of explaining how much he likes having a birthday was perfect.

Jay woke up at 6am on his birthday, and instantly woke Rose up. They both ran out and found the streamers that Jeff and I hung in the hallway. Jeff and I laid in bed listening to all the streamers fall down as Jay and Rose ran back and forth through them. Then we rolled out of bed for some present-opening. Mornings for me are much better than they were a few weeks ago, so I managed to take some pictures of the present-opening from my chair.

 

Jay requested that we put his presents in the castle tent, so that's where he found them. We had him bring them out so we could all watch them opened. We gave Jay Legos, books, and a stomp rocket.

 

 

 

 

After presents, Jeff went to work, I slowly started my day, Jay got right to work on a Lego creation, and Rose read his birthday books. When Jay got stuck on the Lego instructions, he brought them over to me for assistance. We slaved on that blasted Lego tow truck for the rest of the morning, finally finishing it at noon. Whew! When I ordered it, I had no idea it was going to be so big and complex--the box said ages 5 and up. There were 72 steps to build the darn thing! And it kept falling apart. It was a long morning for me, but I did have fun sitting and talking with Jay while helping him do something he enjoys, even if I don't love following intricate directions and prying apart sharp Lego pieces quite as much as he does.

 

 

 

Since Jay had a soccer game the night of his birthday, I made him birthday lunch instead of birthday dinner: homemade mac and cheese. It turned out quite well. We served it up with the green Pastasaurus. Chomp.

 

 

 

You can't have birthday lunch without birthday cake! When I asked Jay what kind of cake he wanted this year, he said "you can choose, Mommy." Seriously? Ok, I chose the easy way out--no cake adventures for me this time around! I bought an angel food cake from the bakery and served it up with whipped cream and strawberries. As usual, we had birthday candles and cake after lunch and then again after dinner.

 

 

 

Minor candle blowing technique adjustment

 

 

Angel food cake is hard to break apart with a fork. So why worry about it?

 

 

After Jay's soccer game, they gave all the kids and families hotdogs for dinner. I gave mine to Jeff. They even had a bounce house set up which of course Jay and Rose had to get in line for. After that, we had the family over for birthday cake.

Then on Friday afternoon, we had Jay's birthday party at Sunnyview Park. Ironic, because it was cloudy and WINDY. At least we weren't hot. A few of Jay's cute friends came and they played on the playground and then we had cupcakes. My parents drove 3 hours to come to the party too! My Mom brought the cupcakes. I was so spoiled with this birthday--no baking for me! It was fun to have Grama Meri and Grampa Charley at the party. Grampa Dan, Grama Leslie, and Steph came too, so we had quite the nice family gathering. I love living nearby so much family! The party ended when the wind turned into a dust storm. We all packed up fast and drove home amidst gale-force dusty winds and sporadic fat raindrops. Of course a few hours later, the sun came back out. Ah well. Planning an outdoor party was never a sure thing.

 

 

 

The wind prevented us from doing candles, but Jay was ok with that. Most of the kids ate their cupcakes top to bottom--my Mom's frosting is that good. They all ran around with little brown goatees on their chins afterwards. Ha!

After cupcakes, there were presents. Jay was overjoyed to receive some Star Wars Legos, a balloon popping game, and some money. I think his life is complete with that Yoda Lego minifigure.

 

 

Near the end of the party, the clown we hired arrived. Just kidding--Jeff stopped by on his way home from work. The kids flocked around. You can see the dust picking up along the horizon in the background.

 

Happy Birthday to Jay. It was a fun one! He's officially a 5-year-old now.

 

 

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Jay's Birthday Interview

Happy Jay-Day! I have one thing to post today: I started the birthday interview tradition with Rose's birthday this year. Basically it's just a list of questions and favorites that I thought would be fun to record each year for my kids. Thankfully, I already had the template made from Rose's birthday, so it was easy to switch out the picture and tweak a question or two. I loved Jay's answers. He didn't have to think very long; he knows what he likes! I'm still trying to believe that he's actually FIVE now. Woah.

 

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FIVE Years Old

Jay turns five years old tomorrow, May 21st. Sniff. I am always so conflicted about my kids' birthdays. I say it every time. I'm happy for them to learn and grow, but sad for me to lose their younger selves. That's what it really comes down to: selfish Shaina says NOOOO! Stay little and sweet at home with me forever and ever! And Mom-Shaina says YAY! Learn that hard thing. Figure out this world. You can do it! Sigh. I'm trying to get over my selfishness tonight so we can have a fun day celebrating tomorrow. Baby pictures soothe the ache.

Today, Jay and Rose came inside from the back yard with finger injuries: Jay had one splinter, and Rose had four. I had to gouge Rose's out with a needle and she winced and cried. After that mild trauma, it was quiet time. When I asked them what show they wanted to watch, Jay said "Rose can choose." He knew his sister was sad from her "surgery" and he was trying to help her feel better! Darling boy.

One more Jay tidbit: on his birthday interview:
What makes you happy? --Mommy
What do you love? --Mommy
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy? --snuggle up

I mean. Love.

Happy birthday to Jay. FIVE!

Ponies!

Jay's birthday is this week, so before I go getting all weepy about the fact that my baby is turning FIVE and starting kindergarten all too soon, I'd better talk about the ponies.

Saturday was my best day yet, nausea and energy-wise, and I did lots of little tidy-up projects that have been niggling my inner zen for weeks now. I organized the shoe rack, and let me tell you--the satisfaction of that simple chore just keeps coming. Every time I walk past that rack, I feel at peace. No more piles of mismatched shoes heaped on the top shelf. Orderly rows and stacks now prevail! I know, it's a shoe rack for goodness sake. But it's the little things, and I appreciate them even more now after a few months of sitting by watching my balanced house slowly become cluttered and unkempt.

 

Ok, one more thing to "boast" about before I get to the ponies: I vacuumed an entire room on Saturday! I did it really slowly so my unused muscles didn't get strained, but I vacuumed our whole family room and the hallway. Then I had Jeff vacuum the stairs and basement. It looked so tidy! It kind of still does. I adore a freshly vacuumed carpet. I could probably write a sonnet about it. But I'll spare you the weirdness.

 

Now, on to the ponies! Saturday afternoon, I was shockingly still feeling good so we loaded ourselves into our trusty van and drove half a mile down the road (I was feeling good, but not walk-half-a-mile-good) to the old high school, where they were having a mini-carnival-ish-fair thing called Play in May. I think it was a fundraiser. We went for the pony rides. Having tasted the freedom of owning my own horses as a child, I have always kind of shunned pony rides. I mean, yay. A stranger leads a horse around a field while various kids sit on its back? Boring! Waste of money! But this time, it seemed like a fun mini activity for a family with a wimpy mother. And the pony rides were only a dollar each. I don't think Jay and Rose had ever been on a horse before! Or a pony, for that matter. They had a good time riding around the soccer field on those cute fuzzy midget hoses. After that quick event, we went over to the elementary school playground and let the kids run rampant for a while before packing up and heading home. It was a tiny outing, but it was our first family outing in more than two months! Yes!

 

 

 

 

Hmm, other news...I had a doctor appointment this week, and everything is going well. I have only gained one blasted pound in the past month but then again, I haven't lost any pounds either, so it's a success. I can feel my baby move already! I didn't quite believe that's what it was till my doctor said it's perfectly possible for a 15 weeker to be felt by a scrawny mother. He didn't say scrawny, but it was delicately implied, ha ha. So every week my lows get higher, and my good days feel better. It's a slow process, but at least it's happening.

 

Jay had another soccer game...

He likes falling and picking grass.

 

Rose nibbles clover on the sidelines.

 

xvds

Later, gators

 

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Testing...

I'm testing my new blogging app called Blogsy. It makes the links that normally are on the side of this blog appear on the bottom. So I'm trying to change that.

 

Isn't that teddy cute? That's the size of my baby right now.

15 weeks down!

5 weeks till the magical halfway point!

25 weeks till the best part! (Pregnancy end, babylove begin)

 

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Weekly

On Sunday night, I was sitting in my recliner with my iPad typing up a quaint little Mothers Day blog post when suddenly two things happened: first, my free blog app crashed, deleting my post. Second, I suddenly had to RUN for the bathroom and puke. Needless to say, that blog post is dead.

I have since found a sleek new blogging app and my nausea is lower at the moment, so here goes: take two. These weekly everything updates are kind of uninspiring to me, but I have no other ideas at the moment, so...general update, now.

 

In the past week, I have kind of plateaued with my recovery. Some days I feel good enough to cook, and other days it's all I can do to toss some cereal at Jay and Rose. This back-and-forth thing is pretty discouraging for me because once I get a taste of feeling good, I want it to last. One day I'm doing dishes and the next I'm hurling my dinner. I know I should be grateful that I'm better than I was, but like Ariel the mermaid, I want more! I'd very much prefer to get all the yucky days over all at once so I can be sure of feeling better every single day. But alas, my nausea is a yo-yo.

New things I have done:

1. load/unload the dishwasher--I can keep my kitchen clean by myself pretty consistently now. Yay!
2. make Jay and Rose lunch
3. I went to the grocery store with Jeff once last week, and it was too much too soon. This week I gave Jeff my list and he did the grocery shopping again.
4. cook dinner twice in one week--with lots of breaks to rest
5. wipe counters and messy peanut butter cheeks
6. go to church! YES, I went to one hour of church on Mothers Day. It was good to be back. It wore me OUT, though. I felt all shaky and weak after sacrament meeting, and I went home and slept for two hours.
7. read books. I started reading some again at last. Last week I read The Fault in Our Stars for an upcoming book club, and this week I started rereading some of my favorite easy-reads, the Sammy Keyes series.

And there you have it. Baby steps! This week marks 15 weeks of pregnancy, and it's starting to show:

Have I mentioned how hard it is to take a picture one-handed with an iPad?

It is so much fun having Jay and Rose home with me all day again, minus certain poopy and/or yogurty incidents. They cart a pile of blocks and little people upstairs from the basement and build and play the day away on the floor in front of my chair. There are disagreements and wild moments, but mostly they have been such good playmates! I sit in my chair and soak it in. Every day after lunch, I go downstairs to the basement and turn on a Sesame Street episode for them.

Rose, post-Go-Gurt one day. When my Mom was here, she left some Go-Gurts in the fridge, and the kids have been loving them. I'm still wondering how Rose managed to get it in her hair. I had to give her a bath after this one. Whew!

On Friday I was feeling rather blah, so we had a PJ-day. We all stayed in our pajamas all day. Jay and Rose loved it, and I have to say they were cute little ghosts in their giant Daddy t-shirts. They keep asking to have another jammy day. Although the line between sweats and PJs is very faint, I try to at least get us all changed out of what we slept in and into something else by lunchtime most days. So ambitious, I know.

 

Jay, multi-tasking: Go-Gurt-ing and Sunning.

Smooch.

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PS

From Sunday, May the 4th:

May the "fourth" be with you.

Getting there

Happy Sunday! Time for an update. 

On Tuesday, April 29th, I got my PICC line OUT! Wahoo! No more arm tube! I went an entire week without needing fluids, so I texted good ole Dr. W. and he said to go for it. So I went in and had the long purple plastic tube withdrawn from my upper arm. It feels wonderful not to have that rigid-feeling tube running through my shoulder vein and down into my chest cavity. I sleep so much better. Like last time, I did not enjoy the feeling of being body-flossed when my favorite nurse, Brooke, pulled and pulled to get the tube out. But it was over in a matter of seconds, and now I am free! For some reason, now that the crutch of the PICC line is gone, I feel more able to take care of myself. It's mostly mental--I feel less dependent on the hospital and nurses and bags of fluids, like if they took out the tube then they think I can do this without it too. It is empowering! I CAN do this! With 3 kinds of medicine taken 24/7, that is.  

As you can tell, things are looking up around the White house. Jeff is still bearing the brunt of the household burdens (laundry, yardwork, childcare, etc), but little by little I am starting to be more able to take care of myself at least. It is so liberating to feel able to GET UP and GET something for myself! When I was sicker, I got myself snacks  during the day when I was alone because I had to, but it made me feel awful and I sat right back down in my chair afterwords. Now when I get up for food, I can usually wash a dish or put something away before collapsing back into my chair. See? Progress!

It all started on Friday, when I finally was more than 24 hours past my most recent puke. I have decided that the levels of my energy and optimism are directly connected to how long it's been since my last barf. For the first half of this week, I was still barfing once a day (at night, oddly enough) and it was killing my ability to hope and feel happy! I was a grouch! I wondered if I jumped the gun getting my PICC line out. Then I switched up the timing of when I took my medicine and the barfing stopped. Miraculously, my good mood and optimism that this pregnancy will work out and not kill me returned. It was such an invigorating rush of happy that I found myself wanting to get up and move! Clean! Twirl! But after standing to wash one pot on Friday, I had to sit down with a snack to recuperate for at least half an hour. I am weak and wimpy after 7 weeks of sitting sickly on the sidelines (alliteration! I must be feeling better). But after resting, I can get back up and try again--I made some soup for myself in that handwashed pot. And then I ATE it. BOOM. 

THE SKY. LAAA!

Yesterday I was all over the place, or so it seemed to me. What I really did was wipe a counter, get all my own food, put a few things away, and talk with my family (as opposed to laying limply and silently in the background. I even sat at the table and played a game of Hi-Ho Cherry-O with Jeff, Jay, and Rose. Then at dinner time, Rose and I made banana muffins together. That one was rough. I took a nice lonnng recovery after that. And then I ate six muffins for dinner. They were pretty small, dry little hockey pucks (hey, I haven't cooked in 2 months!), but still. SIX muffins! All that activity seems to have amped up my already unpredictable appetite. 

Today I actually still feel tired from doing "so much" yesterday. But my hope is still alive. The worst is over. As long as I time my multiple medicines right, I should keep improving. The second trimester starts this week. Only 6 months till my due date now! Woot. 

Our dear ward continues to go above and beyond, with babysitters for Jay and Rose every weekday, dinners 3 nights per week, and even help cleaning the house. It's amazing the love that I feel for all the dozens of people who have served me so selflessly for so long. They always say when you serve, you love the people you help. But I never would've known how much love the one being served feels for the helpers! It's so humbling to sit in my chair while someone puts shoes on my kids and takes them for the day, or while another someone MOPS my kitchen floor. Even though shoe-putting-on and mopping aren't my favorite things to do, I can't help but look forward to when I will be doing those things for my family again! It's coming soon. Maybe I'll try being a Mom again this week?

In other news, Jay scored his first-ever goal in his soccer game this week! Jeff was stuck in parent teacher conferences and I was still queasily lying at home, but Grama Leslie and Grampa Dan saw it! And so did Aunt Steph and Layne and Tate! Jay was so excited about it. My heart aches that I still have yet to see him play soccer. But it will happen.  

And in other other news, our back yard is growing! Jeff planted it weeks and weeks ago, and we've been jacking up our water bill keeping it wet back there. It's finally sprouting. I mean, it's not exactly thick yet, but it's already way grassier back there than it ever has been since we moved to this house almost 2 (!) years ago. We will coax a lush green yard out of this dry dusty place yet. Just you wait. 

Waiting seems to be a theme in life, doesn't it? 

[sunning]