Hip and heart

I did something I've never done before today: I listened to General Conference on the go. While  driving the hour to visit Jeff at the latest track meet, I listened to the first half of the first session of General Conference in the car. I streamed conference to my phone via BYU radio, with the sound magically piped to the car's speakers via bluetooth. It was amazing! As Jeff likes to say, I love living in the future! I was conflicted about whether or not to go to the track meet this weekend because it was General Conference and our attendance at the high school track meets is unnecessary and completely voluntary. But I really wanted to go on a run today, so I drove the kids to the track meet, left them with Jeff at the track, and went on a pleasant four mile jog alone along the Columbia River. 

When I started running, I figured that an hour of the Saturday session was much better than nothing. About a mile into my run, I realized that I could still listen to conference! So I pulled out my phone (which I have started running with for safety reasons), turned on the BYU radio, turned up the volume on my phone (since I didn't think to bring headphones), and just like that I listened to general conference live while I ran! I had only missed 20 minutes of the morning session! In order to get the phone speaker as close to my ear as possible without holding the phone while running, I turned my running belt to the front and slipped the phone into the pocket, speaker pointing out. With the volume cranked up, I could hear the talks quite well through the pocket, especially once I turned out of the hefty head wind. Thankfully I found a route with very few cars passing so my listening was relatively uninterrupted.

The sound of church leaders' voices coming out of my waist pack was quite amusing. I found myself playing around with the expression "joined at the hip" in reference to myself and the gospel. That is an admirable aspiration, to be joined at the hip with the words of the prophets!

Later, when I was watching the kids play at the park, I listened to the afternoon session of conference on low volume with my phone to my ear. It looked like I was on a very long one-sided phone call, and at one point Jay asked me why I was on the phone for so long. I replied that I was not on the phone, I was listening to general conference. Then I joked, "But listening to it like this is basically like being on the phone with the prophet!" Jay grinned appreciatively/dutifully. Every now and then I had to put my phone in my pocket and dash after Amber or help someone or kiss an injury, but I managed to listen to an impressive amount of the session in the chaotic atmosphere of the playground.

After over an hour on the playground, I herded the kids over to the Columbia River, still listening to conference with my phone to my ear. The kids happily threw rocks in the water and dug in the rough sand for a while, then took of their shoes and started wading in the frigid shallows. Since we were alone and our section of shoreline was quiet, I turned the volume up a bit and put my phone in the interior chest pocket of my jacket to listen to the last 45 minutes of conference hands-free. It was very peaceful down by the water, with words of wisdom drifting out of my pocket. I realized that whereas during my run I was "joined at the hip" with the gospel, now I had the words on my heart. I hope to keep them there always.

As I listened to the phone speaker positioned over my heart, the various symbols of the heart in regards to the gospel came to mind: write the words of God on my heart, listen to them with my heart, treasure them in my heart, speak them from my heart. The whole experience was an effective blend of physical and spiritual symbolism, and I felt very immersed in all of it. Many of the impressions I had don't translate well to words. It felt big and important and moving and beautiful to be outside, getting exercise, visiting Jeff, and spending hours at the park with my kids while partaking of a significant spiritual feast.

Amber would not take her eyes off of the rocks, sticks, and sand, so when I was about to say "say cheese!" instead I said "say... Amber, look at the camera!" Of course Jay and Rose repeated that phrase over and over while Rose muscled Amber's face into view.

(Rewind to the track meet) Coaching and parenting all at once: Jeff has it down!

They were SO COLD at the track meet...

...then it was shoes off and game on once we arrived at the frigid snow melt Columbia River!

 Cold cold cold water.

 "I'm making circles!" 

Parc de Bellville

All of my track season turmoil has distracted me from plugging away at documenting our Paris trip. Wow, that already feels like a lifetime ago, and it has only been six weeks since we were in the city of lights. One of the best parts about repeat visits to the same city is finding new favorite spots away from the regular touristy areas. Our hotel was a few blocks away from Le Parc de Bellville, and I fell in love at first sight of the view above this park. We went there nearly every day to check on the city vista du jour. The skyline was the same every time, but the sky itself is always ever-changing, so even cityscapes are worth a second, third, and fourth look. As a bonus, this park is off the beaten track, so the atmosphere was much more Parisian-French than tourist-laden. At times I almost felt like I was trespassing on the private lives of Parisians when we strolled through Belleville, due to the absence of tourists. Since nobody in Paris has a backyard, the parks ARE their yards, and sometimes it really did feel like I had climbed a fence and was standing in someone's yard!

While all of these pictures were not taken on the same day, I organized them in order from morning to night:

1. MORNING

It was a bit of a hazy gray morning. 

Terraces and paths in the park below the viewpoint, with that ever-present Eiffel icon on the horizon. 

A glance to the left always startled me with the sudden giant cathedral between two average apartment buildings. 

The view area in the quiet pre-dawn, with the Eiffel Tower on the far left for a point of reference. 

The skinny cute Rue Piat, which runs just behind the Belleville viewpoint. It was SO silent and still at 7am.

We found this immensely satisfying shortcut to the park... 

...that big staircase led to this darling alley and I was utterly charmed, instantly caught up in the romantic idea of living in Paris with my apartment's courtyard door opening onto a quiet, rustic pedestrian alley like this one.

Of course, rent for a 200 square foot apartment in Paris is about the same cost as what we pay to rent our entire house in Sunnyside each month. But a girl can dream! 

 On the way back to our hotel, we passed this twisty intersection on Rue Henri Chevreau and I always admired the vine-covered building straight ahead and the bookstore to the right.

Back on quiet Rue de la Mare, at our beloved Hotel de la Mare (on the right). 

2. AFTERNOON

Ah, a sunny winter afternoon in Paris. The people swarm all public places.

In spite of my map-scouring efforts, I never did figure out what the name of that mysterious cathedral was, and the sign was covered with ivy when I took a closer look in passing.

Le Parc de Belleville with plenty of sunshine and visitors.

This interesting pavilion of sorts stood at the viewpoint. (point of reference: the Eiffel Tower is in the distance on the right, between the trees and the funky building) 

 Plenty of people taking in the sunshine and the view.

This area was packed with people! It's so easy to forget the sheer numbers of residents in Paris on early gray winter mornings, but then the sun comes out and they swarm! Sunny afternoon vs. cloudy morning right there. 

Looking left toward that mystery cathedral. 

Looking right down skinny Rue Piat (behind the Belleville viewpoint).

3. SUNSET

I was in raptures over this molten gold sky with the Eiffel Tower poking into it.

4. NIGHT: we were only in Paris for five days, and I was always dragging Jeff off to Belleville to admire the view. I love views, and this one was so satisfying! I'm pretty sure we walked past le Parc de Belleville a couple of other times too, when I didn't take pictures.

We decided that the Parc de Belleville had the best free view of the Paris skyline in town. One night we even hiked up Montmartre (the more famous hill and viewpoint) and then went over to Belleville right afterwards to compare the two. Belleville won without a fight. 

Our little travel camera did an admirable job picking up those far-off glinting city lights as well as the moon-sliver. 

Creepy and mysterious... 

...even creepier with that odd greenish cast of white lamplight on grass. 

Ah, Paris, mon amie. Je t'aime beaucoup.

Tuesday evening

This morning I found myself inexplicably wide awake by 5:45am. So I got up and went on a run--the real kind, where I actually leave the driveway. When I stepped outside into the cold predawn gray, birds were singing and everything else had that deep sleepy quiet. It was very peaceful. Running at sunrise is such a zen-way to start the day (minus a certain anxiety-inducing barking dog--I drew my pepper spray cannister and yelled "callate!" and "No!" because often dogs around here respond to Spanish. Thankfully the dog backed off and ended up being a wag-barker instead of a snarl-barker. But still. Freaky in the half light.). In spite of that encounter, I felt so calm and collected when I got back, and that feeling clung to my mood long after the day was in gear. When I was lying in bed awake before 6am, I was annoyed about it because I knew I would be tired later (and mom-ing is always way harder on less sleep), but during my run, the thought occurred to me that Heavenly Father knew I needed that peaceful personal time before The Day commenced. I was able to carry that tranquility with me like a talisman against the demands of the day. (admittedly, that tranquility did evaporate a few times when Amber was being Amber, but generally speaking, it was lovely.)

Jeff had a track meet in Wenatchee after school today, 2.5 hours away. In anticipation of his arrival home extra-late in the deep dark night, we performed a classic van drop during his planning period today: Amber and I drive the van to the high school, pick Jeff up, we all drive back home, Jeff drops us off, and then he drives the van back to the high school alone. We perfected this maneuver back during cross country season last fall. Sometimes it feels like all I do is drive that 3.5 miles back and forth between home and the high school, and we don't even have any kids in high school yet! Hah, tales of a one car family.

Ready and excited to see Daddy in the middle of the day and give him cookies. She put on her sparkly crown and her pink rubber boots and was ready to go.

In preparation for my solo-mama day today, I took precautions so as to reserve as much patience and energy as possible for this evening when I would be alone with three wild ping pong ball children. The idea came on slowly, but it was fully formed by mid-morning today. I have never actively "taken it easy" during the day to save my energies for the ever-demanding afternoon/evening portion of the day, but it was ever so effective today. I did not push myself. I did one load of laundry and the bare essentials in the kitchen. I practiced piano--uplifting Easter songs. I let Amber watch a couple of Netflix Super Why episodes so I could talk on the phone with my mom in peace. I read Amber a few stories. During her naptime, I read myself a nice long story, continuing on in my current D. E. Stevenson book (called Celia's House). 

I was feeling quite calm and collected when Jay and Rose burst through the door after school. As usual, they talked over each other at high volume, clamoring to tell me the latest news and happenings from the elementary school. Apparently a "Dairy Fairy" visited them today and talked about dairy farms and milk. She wore a tiara and a sash and everything, and passed out paper cow-head-shaped crowns to the kids. Fascinating. After doing a little work, the 3 kids scampered off for a generous hour of computer time while I finished reading my book. 

At 5:45pm when the kids emerged and my book was done (with a satisfyingly mysterious conclusion), I was surprised and pleased to discover that I had enough left in my tank to say yes to Jay's request. He has been asking and asking me to teach him how to make macaroni and cheese for a while now, but I have always been too maxed out by dinner time to manage a cooking lesson. Tonight we had it. Jay was quite pleased with himself, and carefully followed my instructions. He made a lovely white roux, then added cheese to it and soon was stirring a nice thick cheesy sauce while the macaroni noodles bubbled next door. Mac and cheese ("mac" for short) is ALWAYS well-received in our house--nay, it is a culinary EVENT worthy of celebratory dance and song. Rose and Amber provided us with the loud, stomping choreography and shouts of glee, and we all sat down to a pot of hot mac. I tossed a bag of baby carrots onto the table for some semblance of balance in the meal.

Amber said the prayer for our dinner. She has been gleefully taking her time deciding to pray independently. Her teasing stubborn nature is the real hindrance, not any lack of know-how, but she has started saying little prayers by herself at last. Tonight she said: "Harry Podder, dankwee for da mac. Is dewicious. Jesus Christ, Amen!" ("Heavenly Father, thank thee for the mac. It is delicious.") That little prayer set the ordinary moment aglow, and we all tucked in to our bowls of Jay's homemade mac as happy as can be. I hope Amber doesn't think we pray to Harry Potter. To be fair, she has several variations of the name, so hopefully she doesn't connect Harry Potter to prayer... 

After large quantities of mac, some carrots, and a cookie each, the kids dashed outside to jump on the trampoline. The sun was setting in a golden gleam behind them, and as I rinsed the dishes and listened to their squeals (loud enough to penetrate our windows and walls), life was good--not complete (no Jeff), but good. I went outside to take pictures of the kids' sunset halo'd golden heads, and then herded the crew in for teeth-potty-prayer-bed. I even managed to throw in two scripture verses. Amber still snuck away during family prayer (her annoying, persistent nightly game). Soon after that everyone was settled down for the night, and I settled myself down on the couch in the afterglow of the pastel sunset to write about it all.

Of course it wasn't dark outside at all yet, but the camera made nifty silhouettes against the sunset. 

Golden halo heads. 

They don't actually jump on the trampoline very often: it usually a prolonged wrestling match. 

I stepped between the sun and the trampoline for some molten gold light.

It is quite alarming to watch Jay and Rose jump with Amber. They completely ignore her and she gets trampled repeatedly, but she straightens her crown and gets back up for more, loving every second of it. 

 I took all of these pictures within a ten  minute window. I just stood there and pushed the button on the camera over and over and hoped for the best, haha. Not the most refined technique, but still produced some results.

Lesson from today: PACE myself. Plan the day so that I have actual reserves to draw upon during the witching hour. I tend to top load my day: go all out until lunch, then coast to bedtime. That is not the way to handle a husband-less day. Pacing myself and holding back made such a difference! Today was not perfect. Amber still drove me to my aggravation point several times with her intense unyielding demands and pummeling. Sweet intelligent Jay still wearied me with his endless "would you like to hear..." (how he starts 95% of his conversations). Rose was still her usual noisy impetuous self. But I was able to experience all of the buffeting and accept it as part of my dear children without letting it drag me under. My constant challenge as one who thrives best in a calm quiet atmosphere is to exist within my chaotic, loud family and not let the noisy chaos completely frazzle every nerve. Prevailing against this challenge doesn't happen every day, and the formula for success might change for tomorrow, but today I managed to balance the scales between calm and crazy. I am going to sit back and enjoy the win.

Now to find another book to read...