Christmas Day

Christmas Day of 2020 was absolutely lovely! The rigors of 2020 left little energy left in my tank for grand Christmas plans. In fact, we've been home-home-home together for so MUCH of the year that I was hard pressed to feel that Christmas sparkle in my heart. Being at home together was more normal and less novel. Finding gifts for the kids was harder than usual. The weeks leading up to the big day simply didn't have any special zest to them. For as little anticipation, festive-ness, and excitement as I had leading up to December 25th, however, the day itself ended up being as sweet and happy a family day as I have ever hoped for. It just goes to show that planning and prepping only goes so far--Christmas magic (aka love) is what really makes the day special. 

Christmas Eve Week

Since Christmas was on a Friday, we got to enjoy a nice long week at home together before The Big Day. It was a whole week of Christmas Eves! Since I'm still in vacation relaxation mode, I'm taking the easy blog route by copying journal entries from the week.

The Winter Solstice called for a cozy candlelit dinner to brighten the longest night of the year. I fished around in the garden debris/compost pile and reclaimed one of the Christmas tree clippings for our centerpiece.

December-ific

The last week before Christmas break always seems to be packed with Christmas activities. Thanks to the pandemic, we definitely had less of those activities this year, but our week still felt full. The weather warmed up a little, the fog departed, and we saw the sun a couple of days during the week, and it made a difference. I helped plan and prep a drive-up Christmas activity for the women in our ward, which involved hours of ribbon-tying during the day and then standing in the cold parking lot at night. Candles and friends make darkness better. 

Sweet Sunday

After our solar Saturday, the sun may not have stuck around for Sunday, but we had a very sweet Sunday all the same. We awoke to a centimeter of snow--just enough to bleach our brown landscape mostly white. Even though the snow was shallow, the first snowfall of the winter always brings festive magic into the air. We attended church via Zoom video call, and when the organist played songs, I played along with her on our piano at home so we could sing nice and loud. It was fun! I never fully realized what a huge part of church worship singing is until we couldn't sing in church. Our ward is still meeting in person, but without singing and with the sacrament saved for the end after the Zoom feed ends, we are fine with joining from afar for now.

Solar Saturday

FOG defined most of our week. We had a brief afternoon of sun on Wednesday before the fog rolled back in, cold and gray as ever. After eight consecutive thick blurry dark foggy days (minus that one bright Wednesday afternoon), Saturday actually dawned. We had an entire fogless sunny day. I was almost giddy with the sudden influx of vitamin D! Living in fog smudges everything like sidewalk chalk in the rain. Our solar-powered sun-filled Saturday was a hard-earned reward for surviving a week of fog. 

Since the week of fog had dampened my weekly exercise, I decided to go for an extra-long bike ride under the sun on Saturday. To add distance and sun-time, I rode my bike to hand deliver three Christmas cards before heading for the hills. I had an audiobook in my ear, the sun at my back, and hills at my front. My meandering rugged ride ended up lasting 20 whole miles! That's an average sized ride for seasoned bikers, but for my beginner legs, it was a couple miles past comfy. It was so fun to explore the countryside sans-fog, when I could actually see where I was going! 

Scrambled Tuesday

It sounds like a cute Denny's menu item involving breakfast comfort food. "I'll have a Scrambled Tuesday with a side of hash browns and orange juice to drink, please." If only. We had a real-life scrambled Tuesday this week, and it was neither cute nor comforting.

Tuesday started out great! The kids ended up having in-person school after a last minute decision made on Monday night. After spending all of Monday at home without any school due to insufficient staffing, we got a phone call at 9:29pm informing us that school would be in-session in-person the next day. So all three kids plus my husband were at school on Tuesday and I had a quiet house to myself for five hours straight. 

The Cushion

We just had our second four day weekend in a row, thanks to parent teacher conferences. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday: all school-free, for all five of us. Then on Sunday night, we got a phone call informing us that in-person school for grades K-8 was cancelled for Monday due to insufficient staffing. In other words, too many teachers were either out sick or quarantined from COVID exposure. Jeff went to work and taught online from his empty classroom on Monday as usual, but the kids and I had another day with no school schedule to follow! It was weird and hard.

During this year of pandemic closures and limits, previously delightful days off of school have become less of a treat and more of the same. That sameness is numbing! Going numb is such a cozy coping mechanism. Hide. Escape. Ignore. It's easy! It's the softest cushion! The tendency to let myself go numb comes on surprisingly fast! I have been battling it all year long, sometimes gaining ground, other times sinking down, before shaking myself awake and pushing back the heavy soft soporific curtain once more. 

Canal Skating

Dreams come true! We skated on the canal after church today! Outdoor ice skating is one of my highest winter ideals. Usually there isn't much water left in the canal over winter, but we lucked out this year with 2-3 feet of water in the stretch right by our house. We had three consecutive days of a solid, thick, freezing fog this week which solidified the canal water nicely. Jeff tested the ice two days before he deemed it thick enough for skating.

After church this morning, we changed into warm clothes, walked across our yard, and climbed down the steep bank into the canal. We have three pairs of ice skates that I accumulated over the past year by watching Amazon Warehouse for deals. Jeff and I each have a pair, and we have one women's size 8 that Amber and Rose took turns using. I offered Jay a turn with my skates, but he bowed out. Ice skating is not Jay's favorite activity. 

Christmas Tree 2020

The day after Thanksgiving is no Black Friday in the White house. It's Christmas tree cutting day in the mountains! We packed turkey, rolls, a bow saw, a snow shovel, our trusty Flexible Flyer sled, and our $5 Forest Service Christmas Tree Cutting Permit, and caravanned with our friends the Kannely family to our favorite spot off of Highway 12 near White Pass. On the way we listened to an audiobook--Sammy Keyes. We did have to stop once for an anti-barf-break for Rose (and me). Thankfully, we stopped before she was carsick enough to puke, and that fresh cold mountain air revived her (and me) nicely. The Kannely family patiently pulled over and waited for us weak-stomached White women to regain our equilibrium. Ten minutes later, we were back on the road, and fifteen minutes after that, we reached our destination.

Thanksgiving

 Happy Thanksgiving! We made the difficult, heart-wrenching, offensive, thoughtful, hopeful, helpful, safe, anguishing decision to have Thanksgiving with just our household this year. Even though we have eight family members living just ten miles away, we felt best about following the guidelines set by our local leaders to do our part to slow the spread of COVID-19. I suffered much emotional distress during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, all from being battered about by each family member holding different opinions on pandemic winter gatherings. I love people who didn't gather. I love people who had huge gatherings. We chose not to gather. Even though I write this without intending to insert any judge-y-ness or preach-y-ness into my rhetoric, I fear it may appear to be there simply due to the flaming-ness that the topic of holiday gatherings seems to have taken on in many areas. We all deserve the space and respect to make our own choices. 

November-mas

Happy November-mas! A few weeks ago when it was getting cold and sad outside, Jeff and I hatched a plan to survive wintertime during the pandemic: we decided to have Christmas every month! We figured it was bound to bring extra cheer during this dark pandemic winter. The 25th of November, December, January, and February will be Christmas in the White house. Generally I struggle to think of gifts for people, so I don't know why this spreading-of-gifting over four months seemed like a good idea, but it totally tickled our fancy, so we went for it. We had November-mas this week on the 25th, which was the day before Thanksgiving. This month, Jeff and I gave "home improvement" gifts, most of which came in excitingly large boxes. 

Home Alone

Monday, November 23rd was unreal. It was a day I have dreamed about for the past five years with varying levels of guilt and joy. It was a day that didn't seem likely to happen in the 2020/2021 school year. But IT HAPPENED! All three of my kids went to school all day long. It was their only day of in-person school all week, due to Thanksgiving break. Hybrid group A (us) went to school on Monday, and group B went to school on Tuesday. One of the challenges I'm working on is embracing the moment. So even though I knew that this much-anticipated first day as a mom home alone wasn't going to happen again for another week and that it could very well all stop completely if schools switched to all online again, I ignored those uncertainties and LIVED IT UP.

Staying Active

When cold weather rolls in, staying active takes more dedication and creativity. Staying active while rehabbing a sore ankle doubles the need for dedication and creativity. About two weeks ago, I tweaked my ankle at cross country practice. It didn't seem like a big deal so I kept running on it for a few days. Then it started feeling worse. It's the same ankle that I sprained back in July. After doing a little research on the tendons, I reluctantly committed to fully healing and strengthening my ankle before running again. I took eight days off from running (that's a LOT for me), and it helped. My ankle still isn't back to normal, but I think it's healing. It is hard not running! Instead of running, I have been biking, which is the only reason I have held on to some semblance of sanity over the past seven days. 

Pie Month Misc.

November is Pie Month! My mom declared November pie month at least twenty years ago. Even though pie isn't my favorite form of sugar, it feels so November-ish to eat pie. We have had several hearty savory pies for dinner: shepherd's pie (twice) and hample pie (also twice). For dessert we have eaten two pumpkin pies from Safeway. We also have consumed one whole Costco pumpkin cheesecake. Yesterday (November 23rd) I baked my first two dessert pies of the season: chocolate chip pie and cranberry peach pie, with varying degrees of success. Desserts are so finnicky! 

Amber decided that she does not like pumpkin pie or pumpkin cheesecake. I dutifully ate my yearly piece of pumpkin pie and let those who truly enjoy it have the rest. My lactose issues tragically limited me to one piece of pumpkin cheesecake. Rest assured, though, the other three White things took up mine and Amber's pumpkin slack with gusto. 

And they did have light continually

One of my favorite Book of Mormon stories is about the Jaredites' journey across the ocean. The concept of LIGHT always feels more profound during cold dark wintry days. As I pondered the familiar story this week, a new facet of the story stood out to me. 

Hello, Hybrid!

Monday, November 9th was the second first day of school for Amber and Rose! Our school district is transitioning to a hybrid model, where the classes are divided in half and each half goes to school two days per week. The other three days are at-home online school. Jay is still fully online, since middle school is scheduled to start hybrid learning three weeks after the elementary schools. The high school is supposed to begin hybrid three weeks after the middle schools. More on that if/when it comes! For now, our elementary school girls are the stars of the show!

Amber and Rose are in group A, which attends school in person on Mondays and Tuesdays. We opted out of the confusing lengthy school bus rides this year, so I'm back on Mom-chauffeur service for the first time a while. Since I only have to hustle the girls into the car and drive them to school on time two days per week, it is manageable. So far. We are only two days into this scheme! And actually, day two was already rushed and reluctant. So...yeah. This is the story of easy-breezy Day One.

Shabirthday

On the same day that Amber turned 6, I turned 34. This year I finally really surrendered my birthday to my daughter. In many ways I did much better at sharing what used to be my day. Jeff gave me my birthday gift several weeks early. As much as possible, I referred to November 4th as Amber's birthday, and it came easier to me than in past years. It almost worked too well--Jay and Rose didn't acknowledge my birthday at all! Not that a parent can really expect or care too much if her kids forget about her birthday, though I do like birthday cards.

Ambirthday

Amber turned six! Ever since Jay's birthday six months ago, Amber has been asking almost every single day "Alexa, how many days until November 4th?" Thank goodness for voice-command devices and their ability to do day-counting math in the blink of an eye. Amber's day came at last, and she reveled in every special Birthday Activity. 

The night before, Jeff and I put six balloons on Amber's bed while she was asleep. We also wrapped her roller skates in separate gift bags to make her birthday gift display more expansive. Perception is reality.

The three mile barrier

Ever since school started this fall, Jay has been working hard on running farther and faster. He decided all on his own that he wanted to get used to running for 30 minutes at a time. One day, after a few weeks of jogging, Jay asked Jeff to help him get faster. When your dad is a cross country and track coach, use it! Private coaching sessions soon commenced. Father and son started meeting at the park one afternoon each week to do a speed and strength workout together. Jay's running form has already improved noticeably. 

Jay is a very careful, deliberate guy. He likes to know what's coming so he can prepare for it. He knows that he wants to run middle school cross country next year in seventh grade, and he wants to be ready for it, so he's starting now, gradually building up his endurance little by little. It's working! Jay is able to run much farther now than he could two months ago. 

Sports, hybrid, and misc.

TWO EXCITING THINGS THAT WERE ALSO STRESSFUL AT FIRST: 

1. Hybrid elementary school is back on the schedule! Our district delayed the start time of 2-days-per-week hybrid model so they could get all of the details negotiated and nailed down. Rose and Amber will start in-person school on November 9th. They will attend two days each week, and do regular online school the other three days. Hybrid school starting up wasn't stressful until the second piece of news hit me hard moments later...

Carving and Costuming

The Halloween obligations--I mean festivities-- continued (and hopefully concluded) on Wednesday, October 28th with pumpkin carving and costume-concocting. Parental interest in pumpkin carving has been waning over the past few years, but Jeff and I have always managed to carve one pumpkin apiece. This year we were feeling sort of worn out by both life and the lack of life and we didn't carve pumpkins at all, even though we had over twenty home-grown pumpkins to choose from. We didn't even feel bad about our unenthusiastic non-pumpkin-carving. In fact, it was a relief! Jay didn't feel like carving a pumpkin either, but Rose and Amber each carved two. Jay and I drew faces on a few pumpkins with a Sharpie and called it good. Jeff and I both helped the girls by cutting the tops off of their pumpkins. 

Picking and Painting

Over the summer we planted three pumpkin seeds, hoping that one of them would grow. As far as we can tell, all three seeds grew, and we ended up with 30 pumpkins in our wild sprawling square pumpkin patch. Instead of journeying far and wide for a Wedventure on October 21st, we decided to pick our pumpkins. Jay clipped each pumpkin from the vine, and the girls followed him around collecting the pumpkins and piling them on the grass. The kids gathered 29 pumpkins. Pumpkin #29 ended up being small and squishy, so we tossed it. Pumpkin #30 was underneath the trampoline and looked pretty green, so we left it there. Then we carried our abundant orangey-rific harvest onto the porch, where the pumpkins glowed in the afternoon sunlight. 

The Upper Eastside

The Upper Eastside sounds so New York City, but it's part of a trail. A few weeks ago I ran beginning on the southern end of Mt. Rainier's Eastside Trail. This week I decided to try the other end, so on my designated trail Tuesday I drove to Chinook Pass and picked up the upper tail of Eastside Trail near Tipsoo Lake. My goal was to run all the way to the point where I turned around last time I ran on the Eastside Trail, so I could say I've done the whole trail. It turned out to be quite a misty cold wet slippery steep run with few views and lots of walking, so I did not make it all the way to my turnaround. There is still about a mile and a half of the Eastside Trail that I have not run, but I was proud of myself for watching the clock and responsibly turning around before it got too late. No more headlamp trail runs for me, thanks!

Dancing and pedaling

DANCING: Some days you just need a good silly kitchen dance party. On Friday (Oct 16th), Amber and I had three kitchen dance parties. She turned on the poppy, peppy song "Try Everything" from the movie Zootopia, and we danced in our skinny kitchen until the song ended and we were out of breath. Then we did it again. A little later, we turned the same song on for a third time and Rose joined in, which made the skinny feel kitchen even skinnier. None of us are what you'd call natural dancers. We don't have moves. Our gross motor skills are minimal. We barely have any rhythm, but none of that matters when you're dancing in the kitchen! So we held hands while jumping around, twirling each other, and laughing our heads off. 

At-home album

In between our various weekly outings, we are at home, home, home. Here's a home life album of the White Things at the White House, for the first half of October:

Sunset walk with my best friend.

Cowiche Canyon Wedventure

A windstorm in the valley and cold steady rain in the mountains deterred me from my trail Tuesday this week, but the wind eased up enough in time for a Wedventure! After last week's longer drive and hike to Thorp Lake, the kids and I were all in the mood for a shorter, closer-to-home adventure. So we went to an old favorite: Cowiche Canyon. It's less than an hour away from home and bursting with variety: rocks to climb, tunnels of trees, textured undergrowth, bare cliffs, and a rolling creek--all contained within this small three mile long miniature canyon.  

An informational sign near the trailhead informed us that some of the rock formations along the trail looked like Easter Island heads. We had been to this trail several times and never noticed the head-rocks before, so we resolved to look for them. I'm not sure if we saw the exact rocks referred to by the sign, but we definitely saw a very Easter Island head-shaped rock. With Elvis hair. It was awesome.

Easter Island Elvis!

Apple Capital

On Saturday (Oct 10th) we went to Wenatchee for a family bike ride on the Apple Capital Loop path. Grampa Dan and Grama Leslie joined us to bike in the steady headwind. It was a beautiful bike path, with half of the path on each side of the river, joined by big bridges. Jeff and I spent many hours coaching at cross country meets at the park along one side of this path, and the nostalgia was strong. 

From the beginning, Amber and I fell back from the frontrunners. She was still tired from our six mile hike the previous day, and I couldn't blame her! She does so much more than Jay and Rose did when they were five years old. So my Ambuddy and I rode a very slow five miles far behind the rest of the family. Then we stopped at a sand spit along the river and played for half an hour or so until everyone else finished the full ten mile Apple Capital Loop. 

Thorp Lake Fredventure

If Wednesday + Adventure = Wedventure, then Wedventure + Friday = Fredventure. The awesome thing about word math is that it doesn't have to be quite as precise as number math. If only we knew someone named Fred! 

The kids had a day off of school on Friday, October 3rd, for teacher in-service. In our house that means Jeff has work, and the kids don't. We decided to move our weekly Wedventure to Friday so we'd have more daylight to work with. Moving it to Friday also conveniently gave my pulverized quads and hammies more recovery time after my intense Tuesday sunset run on the Wonderland Trail. Rose and I combined four words and decided to dub the outing Fredventure! 

Walla Walla and Waffles

Normally over the past three years, we have been lucky to hear any of the Saturday sessions of General Conference live, due to cross country meet (in October) or a track meet (in April). Since cross country season has been postponed to springtime this year thanks to the pandemic, we were faced with New Territory. What to do on conference weekend? We always get so antsy when we spend all weekend slouched on the couch listening to five sessions of conference, so Jeff and I hatched a scheme that allowed us to both listen to the inspired messages from our church leaders and get moving all at once.

The bonus to our clever plan for listening to General Conference was we would have our kids as a captive audience. They've never heard as many Saturday General Conference talks as they heard on Saturday, October 3rd, 2020! 

Sunset in Wonderland

It was a rare sunny warm October day in Mt. Rainier National Park on Tuesday (October 6th). When I saw the mild weather forecast, I knew I had to make one more trip to the Wonderland Trail this year. This time I accessed the trail from the southwest, and ran/hiked 7.4 miles to an area called Indian Bar. I dislike the name for both social and poetic reasons, but I was mostly able to distract myself from the lame name by enjoying the surrounding beauty. The trail climbed 4,700 feet in elevation, which was my biggest climb of the year. It was tough, and I went into it knowing that I would walk a lot of the uphill portions rather than run. Even hiking was a doozy! Once I emerged from the wooded four mile uphill grind into the pristine alpine meadows, every ache and gasp became worthy payment for the gift of the scenery.

Home Life

Tuesdays are my solo trail run day. Wednesdays are our mom-kid Wedventures. Saturdays are our family bike rides. We adventure hard, and then we stay home the rest of the time (minus a weekly grocery trip and Jeff working from his empty classroom at the high school because it's bigger and quieter, with faster internet). Our three adventures per week are keeping my travel itch scratched just enough so I feel an unexpected, slightly precarious balance in my life. Maddening online kindergarten policing on one hand, intense mountain adventures on the other. It works. 

Silver Falls

Wedventure 3.0 took us to the Silver Falls Loop Trail along the Ohanapecosh River in Mt. Rainier National Park. We hiked this trail as a family five years ago when Amber was a baby on my back, and it was amazing how much was the same (big trees, pretty waterfall, quality trail) and how much was different (zero kid-carrying, no Jeff, lots of climbing and jumping and running, wearing masks when we passed people). It was one of those rare outings where everyone was energetic, engaged, and excited about all of the details. This hike fulfilled my vision for our Wedventures. As a parent, there are dozens of things I do for and with my kids that aren't actively FUN for me specifically, but hiking with my kids (when everyone is cheerful) is my total zen zone. Best Wedventure so far! 

Mt. Catherine and the Snoqualmie Tunnel

Tuesday, September 29th was my weekly Shainadventure // Trail Tuesday // Half-day. Since my legs were still feeling a bit fatigued from last week's extra-long trail run, I decided on a flatter pathway. The most adventurous flat path I could think of within 100 miles of home was the Snoqualmie Tunnel, a two mile long old train tunnel that makes up part of the Cascades to Palouse Trail bike path. Since I didn't want to run through the dark tunnel more than once, I scoured my trail maps and crafted a nice ten mile loop using a forest service road, the Pacific Crest Trail, and the bike path. With the memory of last week's mileage miscalculations still painfully fresh in my mind and muscles, I quadruple-times-two checked the distances and trail names. I was beyond overprepared!

Weekends Together

Our weekends are fuller of family time this fall than they have been since Jeff started coaching cross country four years ago. On Saturdays, we venture forth on family bike rides. On Sundays, we have home church together. In order to "fill the void" of bouncing all over the state in the back of un-sprung school buses on the way to weekly cross country meets, Jeff has instituted family bike rides on Saturdays. It started as a father-son outing, but it became too hard for Jeff to find time to take each kid on a special bike ride individually, so we converted it to a family ride. This is Jeff's show! It is refreshing for the planner in me to hand the reins over to Jeff in this case. He brainstorms locations and loads the van and plans the food, and I attend. Of course he knows I'll help if he needs/wants me to, (and I do tend to pack extra snacks and make sure everyone has their water bottles), but generally Jeff is content to handle it all himself. 

Wedventure 2.0: Brooks Memorial State Park

Our second Wedventure was delayed for two weeks by that bout of mid-September wildfire smoke, but once we had clear air on a Wednesday, we were back at it. After a morning of online school on September 23rd, we drove 50 miles southwest to tiny Brooks Memorial State Park. As we drove along, I started noticing the telltale sights and smells of SMOKE. When we arrived at Brooks, the big half of the small park was closed due to wildfires. The smoke wasn't too bad, though, so we studied the trail map at the kiosk and decided to hike the available one mile loop. Signs proclaimed proudly that we would see a Big Fir Tree somewhere along the trail, so we hunted for the trailhead. It took a few detours down some closely-wooded pretty pathways before we picked up the edge of the small loop path.

Iron Bear Trail

When my trail research uncovered the Iron Bear Trail, I put it on my list based on the name alone. Turns out it's named for two nearby parallel creeks, Iron Creek and Bear Creek. The only downside to this trail was its length-- a mere six miles. If I was going to drive nearly two hours to the Iron Bear, I wanted to have more trail time than that! So I started zooming in on trail maps, calculating distances, and eventually designed, memorized, and downloaded my very own gorgeous 13 mile loop, utilizing the Iron Bear trailhead as the start and finish point. Normally I feel best on out-and-back trails because once I turn around, I know exactly what to expect on the return journey. All of my recent trail time must have made me bold, though, because I felt confident and ready for a loopy challenge. So I went for it! 

Smoke vs. Mist

Friday, September 18th was a teacher inservice day, so the kids didn't have school. I was planning on driving the kids to the mountains for an adventure. Since the smoke was beginning to lift down in our valley, I figured it would be even better air up high in the mountains. It was supposed to be cloudy with a chance of rain in the mountains, but we were desperate for outside time, so we decided to go anyways.

Jeff got up and went to work bright and early, only to discover that the high school teachers did not, in fact, have an inservice day. They had the day completely off! Jeff returned home and joined the rest of us on our mountain adventure instead. It was an awesome surprise to have him along! From our limited options, we chose the Naches Peak Loop trail in trusty Chinook Pass as our destination. We've done that trail before, but this was not an exploration; it was an escape.

BLAH

We had one of those weeks that I'd prefer to leave behind rather than relive with a blog post. The vibe around the White house over the past two weeks can best described by a single four-letter word: BLAH.

Pandemic. Online school. Hazardous levels of wildfire smoke. For the last two weeks, our daily life was bursting with quite the lofty trio of large-scale trials. Homeschool, pandemic, and smoke, oh my! The other day I told a local friend "aside from the obvious--pandemic, online school, and hazardous smoke--I hope you have a good day!" Hah. It was a beast of back-to-back cooped-up smoke-headachy weeks 'o BLAH.

Owyhigh Lakes Trail

Our valley's air quality has been stuck in hazardous range for nearly a week, thanks to nearby (and not-so-nearby) wildfires. Hazardous air means no exercise, indoor or out. No exercise means restless crazy Shaina. In desperation, I moved my weekly trail run up a few days--to Tuesday (Sept 15th) instead of Friday this week. As I researched which trail to run, I discovered that one of our three main mountain access roads, highway 12 through White Pass, had just been closed due to--you guessed it--another wildfire. Since I-90 is still under major reconstructive surgery (involving several key road closures), my portal to the Cascades shrunk to one entry point: state road 410 through Chinook Pass.

The air quality had deteriorated so drastically since Friday that I didn't know if even the mountains would be clear enough for running. The Air Quality Index (AQI) maps sure didn't inspire much hope for fresh mountain air. But I had to check! So when Jeff got home early Tuesday afternoon, I drove 2 hours up and over Chinook Pass and down into Mt. Rainier National Park a short ways to the Owyhigh Lakes Trail. The air may not have exactly been clear, but it was much LESS smoky than at home, so I ran in it... slowly, with plenty of walking "smoke breaks." 

Crystal Lake

Sunnyside is not threatened by the wildfire flames that are ravaging so much of Oregon and other nearby dry areas. Instead we deal with the intense smoke from those fires. Our valley loves to collect thick bad air. In the winter, dense freezing fogs settle in and torture us. In late summer and early fall, wildfire smoke does the same. We had bad air quality all week, to the point that running was not an option. I was already feeling off physically, so I used the smoky air to help me take a break from running. It was weird. I have been running 30 miles per week for six months! But when school started, maintaining that 30 mile standard became too much of a strain. I need energy to be a nice mom, especially when my children are at home all day doing online school! So it felt smart to take a break from running to reset. 

Devil Creek Falls

We went on a Labor Day excursion with the cousins! Journal excerpt from Monday, September 7, 2020:

What a day! It was so nice yesterday that Jeff and I slept with our bedroom windows open last night. This morning, we woke up to smoke and high winds. The wind storm kept picking up speed, rolling the cursed wildfire smoke back into town. Soon the air was so gunky I knew running outdoors was not going to be an option. So I did my yoga, Jeff hooked his bike up to ride indoors in the basement, and we resigned ourselves to a blah day. 

Then Steph called and we started scheming. 

Online school, week 1

Online school, week one is done. Amber officially starts online kindergarten next week, on Tuesday, so as I sit down to document this past week, I am realizing that next week will not look much like whatever limited rhythms we have managed to establish already. But, we SURVIVED the first full week of distance learning! Here's a run-down:

I. Family Routine

This is the routine that I created to give structure and freedom to the kids. Each day is divided into three parts: before school, school, and after school. 

Before school to-do list rhyme: clothes, chore, hair, piano, scripture, prayer. The chore changes from day to day. I'd love to have designated chores for each day of the week, but  I leave that as a per-diem decision so the most-necessary chores get done first. It has been relatively easy to get back into the practice piano each morning, largely thanks to Tonora--the app that our piano teacher uses to track practicing. It is an excellent motivator. We have fallen back into our 7am family scripture and prayer routine nicely as well, which is nice.

Eastside Trail Run

For my own personal Shainadventure this week, I wanted a moderate trail without drastic inclines. I needed shade because the temperature was in the mid-80s, even in the mountains. It also had to be a two hour drive or less from home and out of the wildfire smoke that was clogging our valley. That was a very specific list of demands, but I managed to find a trail that not only met my requirements, but also exceeded my expectations. 

Wed-venture: Union Creek Falls

Last week, when the horrific riptide waters of online elementary school were closing in around my head, mother nature plunged in her hand to rescue me. I gripped it hard and emerged, taking deep breaths of life-giving oxygen. As I organized my thoughts, one fact became clear. If we were going to stay sane during distance learning, the kids would need to get OUT of the house regularly. 

Problem: online school takes until noon every single weekday. It's like we only get the bad parts (cooped up) of homeschool without the benefits (free-form outings). I began to see why so many families had withdrawn from school to do their own homeschool curriculum. But we are committed to our Sunnyside School District! I have never doubted keeping our kids enrolled in our local public schools. It's right for our family, so we have to work within the new distance learning parameters, however confining they may seem.

Burroughs Mountain Trail

Part 1: Drowning in Domesticity

It's hard to believe that the pandemic has been drastically affecting our lives for nearly six months now! Quarantine life is starting to feel almost normal, and it's been going on so long that I didn't think that school starting would feel different or even be a big deal. We would still be at home all day every day just like we were during spring and summer, after all. Sameness defines life right now. So starting school seemed that it would just mean extra screen time each day for the kids. No big deal, right?

Wrong! 

All three of our kids are competent computer users, and for the most part Jay and Rose are pretty independent with their online school schedules so far. When something goes wrong with school stuff, however, they need me RIGHT NOW to fix the problem immediately so they can attend their class meeting before it ends. Consequently, I am the most restricted to the house that I have been since the days of napping diapering babies. 

Distance Learning 2.0

SCHOOL HAS BEGUN. As of Wednesday, August 26th, the school year is officially in session--from afar. Our school district is doing distance learning all online, while we [continue to] wait for COVID-19 to back off. Jeff is able to teach online from his classroom, which is a great setup for him since he has unlimited quiet and much faster internet there than he has at home. On Tuesday, I helped him lug his various electronic devices into his classroom. 

The first day of school was anticlimactic on the home front. No special outfits, no new school supplies, no backpack assembling. No pristine front porch pictures. No waiting for the bus. Well, ok. We did do front porch pictures, but nobody wore special new clothes or backpacks. We did wait at the bus stop, but rather than picking up the kids and taking them to school, the bus delivered school lunches to us. It was so strange! Nothing felt new or different. Although Jeff leaving for work was a novelty after nearly six months of having him home.

August Strong

Back in April, I started doing yoga for the first time ever, in hopes of strengthening my achy weak left shoulder and developing more flexibility. A friend recommended the YouTube channel Yoga With Adriene and I went for it, building strength slowly over weeks and weeks of downward dogged determination. Yoga is hard! After a few struggling sweating months, I started noticing that I was developing shoulder tone, wrist strength, posture awareness, and better balance. It felt amazing. I felt strong! That strong feeling kept growing. My left shoulder was (and is) still weaker than my right, but I could tell that overall it was much stronger than it was before I started yoga-ing.

Kachess Lake

We went to Kachess Lake at last! It was a long time coming, but well worth the wait. 

I. Delays

I first planned our family lake day over two weeks before we finally ended up going, but a set of delays pushed the trip out of July and then farther and farther into August. First we postponed it because our gear was too wobbly on the roof, then we put it off again to wait for warmer weather. I began to think that this lake was cursed! On Monday, August 17th, the variables finally aligned for a family day at the lake. I got up early to prepare our cooler of food. When I had everything all ready, I discovered that Jeff was still in bed. The man never sleeps in. It is not normal for him to stay in bed past 6am, and it was nearly 8! He was sick. We didn't know what he had, but he was too weak to come to the lake.

Awareness, adaptation, and waiting

Lots of thoughts have been building and swirling in my mind over the past two weeks. This post is my attempt to organize them, make sense of them, siphon them off, and share them. Hopefully it makes sense!

I. Awareness

For several weeks this summer, I felt somewhat spiritually stagnant, like I was going through the motions of daily scripture reading because it was the right thing to do, but not getting too much out of it. I understood that it isn't always fireworks; often it's quiet daily work with subtle small simple effects that aren't immediately visible. So I kept at it through the uninspired weeks, but it felt dull and hard.

PCT to Shoe Lake

After bathing in Deet, I met another wilderness celebrity on Monday (August 10th). The Pacific Crest Trail was beyond dreamy. How have I lived in WA for over ten years and never run on the PCT? Words seem inadequate to describe the beauty, especially since I'm still sapped of sufficiently descriptive superlatives after last week's run on the Wonderland Trail. It has been a great summer for magical WA-exploration!

A Victory on the Sunday Battleground

For the most part, home church at the White house is short, sweet, and to the point. Brevity helps us avoid (or at least stave off) the inevitable tussles that seem to occur whenever we are all in the same room trying to Do Something Spiritual Together. Today I approached home church with a different attitude: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! The Come Follow Me Primary manual had a stellar idea that was right up my family's aisle. I love it when pre-made lesson plans are perfect! That rarely happens, because I'm picky and tend to resist overly cheesy activities. This week it worked! 

Wonderland to the Panhandle

Ever since I first read about the Wonderland Trail a few years ago, I have dreamed about it and drooled over descriptions of its epic terrain and scenery. It became something of a celebrity in my mind, with an allure similar to that of the Appalachian Trail. The Wonderland Trail circles around the entire base of Mt. Rainier, creating a premier 93 mile loop. For some reason, I always thought of that 93 mile trail as a whole and never considered doing a day hike or a trail run on a small section of it like I often did on the Appalachian Trail back in Virginia. Then we drove past a Wonderland Trail access point on our way to the Snow and Bench lakes trail last week, and it clicked: I could enjoy the Wonderland in pieces! No need to commit to a multi-day 93 mile trek! 

Target: acquired.

Excessive heat warning

At the beginning of the week, the weather forecast issued a four day "heat advisory." It quickly expanded to five days, and soon devolved into an "excessive heat warning," with triple digit temperatures five days in a row. The Yakima Valley was a scorching place to be--not uncommon at this time of year, but blisteringly uncomfortable nonetheless. We fled to the mountains for a family hike on Tuesday, and spent the next two days recovering from our exertions. (Why are family hikes more tiring than solo trail runs?) 

By Friday we were ready and rarin' to go again. I picked out an easy-access, family-friendly mountain lake with beachfront that was a mere 2 hour mostly-highway drive from home. The highway component was key--we didn't want another carsick puking kid on this outing! The forecast was 23 degrees cooler at the lake than in Sunnyside. We craved that break from the heat ravenously. 

Two Lakes

Yakima Valley is in the molten grip of a heat wave this week. The five day forecast is all in triple digits. Mountains to the rescue! I love being able to escape our smoldering valley to the cooler mountains! We were not in the mood to camp (too much work, not enough sleep), so we decided on a day trip. After performing my signature intensive research, I selected the Bench and Snow Lake trail in Mt. Rainier National Park for a family hike. On Tuesday, (July 28th), we made the 2 hour 20 minute drive, with somewhere around 20 minutes of added time for two sections of stop-and-wait road work. We listened to music together and watched the trees flash by. 

Once we entered the official park, the road got steeper and curvier. Predictably, Rose got car sick and threw up on the side of the road. Cue the slamming of brakes and hasty opening of door for the green child to upchuck! Once Rose was all cleaned up, we forged onward. The drive was gorgeous, in spite of the sinuous road, and since Rose was all emptied out, she didn't puke again. 

A backyard walk

The day after my trail run adventure was a Saturday. Instead of going on a run, I went on a walk with the kids behind our house. They led me all over the farmland and fields, proudly showing me all of their favorite places to play, run, climb, and dig. It was sweet seeing the familiar places through their eyes. Even though the constant "Mommy, look!" can get exasperating at times, it really is fun being their number one Person To Show Everything. On this walk, I realized (again) that setting specific time aside to be fully present with my kids definitely brings that joy to the forefront. Instead of me feeling irked at being interrupted with a "come see this," I was already there in the moment, ready to look at all of their favorite places. 

Union Creek

Another Shainadventure is in the books! On Friday (July 24th), I drove 99 miles west into Chinook Pass with my sights set on a well-researched portion of the Pacific Crest Trail. In the car, when I was a scant three miles from the top of Chinook Pass, I drove into a cloud. It wasn't a fluffy white happy cloud; it was an ominous dark gray cloud that completely covered the road and the sweeping panoramic vistas that characterize Chinook Pass. When I jumped out of the car to use the vault toilet at the trail parking area, it was forty degrees, windy, wet, and dark. 

It was decision time. Did I want to have a cold, wet, possibly stormy/slick trail run with all big mountain views hidden in mist? Or did I want to turn back and drive a couple miles to one of many other unknown, un-researched trailheads lower down out of the cloud? After agonizing for a while, I reluctantly turned around and drove back the way I came until I saw a likely looking trail sign for Union Creek Trail. 

Union Creek Falls, a quarter of a mile down the trail.

Sunnyside Summertime

Summertime is in full force here in Sunnyside, with endless blazing blue skies every day and several triple digit temperatures every week. The crops are a lush, leafy green under the farmers' careful irrigation. The canal is full and deep, flowing life and color into the dry brown land. On the horizon, Mt. Adams' blanket of white snow is patchy and receding. The sunrises are early and bright; the sunsets are late and lingering. It's the season when fair Sunnyside truly lives up to her name. 

Our country cottage is in the middle of all that irrigation, agriculture, sun, and sky. We had a quiet week at home. It was noticeably quiet for two reasons. One: we did a post-trip self-quarantine, so we didn't socialize. Two: our summer screen time rule is an equal ratio of outside time to screen time, with a baseline requirement of two hours outside everyday. The kids learned to get up earlier and go outside before the heat set in, and consequently, the inside of our house was serenely peaceful for several hours every morning. When the kids came inside, they were [mostly] tame and tired, so the calm-factor continued. It is a system that works wonders for our family sanity! 

Bridger Ridge

During our last night on the road, while we were lounging in our Bozeman, Montana hotel room, I started browsing nearby trails in the All Trails app on a whim. I happened across a popular trail that was only a twelve minute drive from our hotel. Twelve minutes to a gorgeous mountainous trail? At home I drive at least two hours to get to the good trails! The riches of such proximity were too tempting to pass up. After a brief conference with Jeff, I committed. The next morning (Wednesday, July 15th), after Jeff finished his run (on firm even sidewalks to coddle his poor ankle problem), I drove that brief one dozen minutes across Bozeman to the College M and Bridger Ridge trailhead. 

Old Faithful

Our final stop in our Yellowstone day was the classic Old Faithful geyser. The parking lot was massive and packed with cars. We drove up and down rows and rows of vehicles with license plates from at least half of the states. Rose and I enjoyed reading out all of the different states on each car. It made the hunt for a parking spot a little more fun. After ten minutes or so with no parking success, Jeff and I had a quick consultation wherein I was fine with skipping Old Faithful due to the non-pandemic-friendly crowds. Jeff was determined to have our kids see Old Faithful, though, so he agreed to drop us off and keep searching for a parking spot. Jeff saw Old Faithful when he was Jay's age, so he wouldn't be crushed if he missed it. We agreed to meet back at the curb every 15 minutes to check in (no cell service).

As the kids and I walked up the long sidewalk towards the geyser, we saw a sign with the next eruption prediction. It said 1:40pm. It was 1:39!! We ran for it and way up ahead the geyser began spouting! We stood and watched from afar while the steam and water shot into the air. It lasted longer than I expected it to, and out of the blue, Jeff came sprinting up. He had found a parking spot right after dropping us off! So we all got to see Old Faithful together after all. 

Paint Pots

Our second stop in Yellowstone was the Paint Pots geothermal area. We had planned on seeing the famous rainbow Grand Prismatic Spring, but decided to see Paint Pots first since they popped up first along the park loop road. We were glad we stopped when we did because later when we drove past the Grand Prismatic Spring area, there was a long line of cars waiting to turn into the full-to-bursting parking lot and hoards of people swarming the place. We skipped it. Paint Pots gave us our fill of rainbow-edged hot springs, bubbling hot mud pits, and we even saw a few geysers spout along the path. 

The place was otherworldly. It seemed like a cross between Mars and the moon, with the contrast between the bright orange "bacteria mats" and the desolate white cratered expanse of bubbly mud and geysers. There were several holes that were gurgling and sucking like an old drain. The boiling mud bubbles rose and popped endlessly. The steam never stopped rising from the hot springs. The colors and complete foreign novelty of the place kept us entranced.

Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

The day we drove through Yellowstone, we mapped out three key sights along our path through the park. The main road in the park is a big loop, which was confusing at times because there would be arrows pointing in both directions, informing us that Old Faithful was a either left or right turn. It just depended on how long of a drive we wanted before we arrived. We decided to save Old Faithful for last, even with potential afternoon crowds, because it was the farthest away from our point of entry on the park loop road. Our first sight of the day was the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. 

This was my first grand canyon! I'm sure it's tiny compared to Arizona's version, but it was still quite rugged and impressive. We parked in a fast-filling lot and walked a mile and a half down a trail to a waterfall viewpoint partway down the canyon wall. Knowing Jay's fear of heights, I asked him how he was feeling regularly throughout our hike. In response to my first inquiry, he said "my fear of heights is in full force." He walked slowly and cautiously the whole way, and never went too close to any ledges, railing or no. 

Cody and beyond

After two weeks in the mile high city, we prepped for our journey home. The plan was to stop one night in Cody, Wyoming, spend the following day in Yellowstone National Park, and then stay in Bozeman, Montana that night before driving the remaining 8.5 hours home the following morning. I find a bullet-point outline to be more straightforward: 

• Day 1: drive 7.5 hours from Denver to Cody, WY
• Day 2: explore Yellowstone, sleep in Bozeman, MT
• Day 3: drive from Bozeman to home (8.5 hours)

Brown Family Pictures

(Dread + Anticipation) x Hope = family pictures

Having a sister who's a professional photographer eases the pressure somewhat. We had a quick backyard family photo shoot on June 30th. Even though it's a hassle getting everyone cleaned up, family pictures are always worth the effort!

Three trails, two sisters

My sister-in-law Dani recently discovered the JOY of trail running, so you'd better believe I capitalized on that shared interest during our Denver visit. We went on three trail runs together in two weeks! It was a pure delight to have a trail running buddy. I love my solitude as much as the next introvert, but I also love running with a friend. Conversation flows most easily when I'm on the move, and like-minded similarly-paced running partners are scarce. I've had less than five in the fifteen years since my college track team. Dani and I preferred to run-hike, running the smooth sections and hiking the steeper/rocky sections. It was an ideal blend. We had a blast absorbing the scenery and sisterhood while we chatted our way around the rocky trails.

Cousin central

The main Brown Family get-together with my parents and all five of their kids plus spouses plus 12 grandchildren lasted for the first week of our stay in Denver. All of my siblings left my parents' house during the second week we were there. Em left her four kids at the house for the second week, and Dani and Alivia (who live near Denver) visited several times during the week, so there was plenty of quality cousin time. As usual, I barely saw my three kids while we were in Denver. Cousin central is their favorite place to be! The stayed at the house the whole time we were there and played every day away: board games, card games, Dungeons and Dragons, videoing skits, swimming, and watching plenty of Studio C comedy sketches together (and then quoting it at anyone with ears). 

Grand Teton National Park

Our one and only summer trip is done. It lasted from June 25th-July 15th: three weeks of family bonding, road trip and reunion style. While we were away, I completely ignored all photo-organization and now, twenty-one days and a thousand pictures later, I am facing a messy mega-sized morass of adventure pictures! This post is my first foray into sorting through the photographic evidence of our three week journey. I love looking at my pictures, but organizing them is a daunting project. As my tenth grade geometry teacher used to say, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!" Here's the first mouthful. Hopefully it's not too chewy.

School's out!

The strangest school year ever is over at last. The official last day of school was Friday, June 19th, but elementary school report card pickup was Tuesday, June 16th. Jay and Rose finished their last assignments on Friday, June 12th. They each had one last class video meeting on Monday, June 15th before they were officially DONE. Confused yet? Welcome to "distance learning!" Hah. These ambiguous end dates wreaked havoc on my traditional "last day of school" pictures and end-of-school survey worksheet, so we decided to call Friday, June 12th our last day of school. We took our front porch pictures and filled out my homemade worksheets a full week before Jeff was officially done with his school year as a teacher. 

Snow Lakes

Last week it was high time for another Shaina trail adventure, but the weather forecasts in the mountains were cold, rainy, and stormy all week. I used the time to research possibilities, scouring maps, trip reports, trail descriptions, and weather forecasts for days before finally choosing my forest. This week the weather cleared. On Tuesday night, I threw together my gear and went to bed looking forward to an early start the next day.

Quarantine Hair

Jay was determined to wait until the school year ended before getting a haircut. Consequently, he grew an impressively luxurious strawberry mop of hair. The last time I trimmed his hair back in February was the best haircut I've ever given. My February fading and layering job on Jay's hair made it grow out in an almost-perfect way. The back didn't look bushy and mullet-long because I layered it so well and because the top was so much longer. It was satisfying to see my quality amateur work grow out so nicely. But the situation was getting intense. Jay developed a head-jerk-side-sweep to swoop the hair out of his eyes every few seconds. He voluntarily wore it in a ponytail on two separate occasions. He was feeling ready to see clearly again.

June Joys

School is winding down down down. There are still a few more things to be done before school is officially out for the summer, but it is rapidly waning. This week we had some oddly cool weather, with some storms and humidity. It made for some dynamic sky views--my favorite. 

On Monday my adult sized scooter came, so Jeff and I were able to enjoy scooter rides together. That same day, our ward primary had a kids' virtual talent show where each child could perform and share a video on our Facebook group or create art and share a picture of it. Jay played one of his favorite piano songs from Lord of the Rings. Rose did a flip on the trampoline. Amber drew a picture of a rainbow. It was fun seeing what talents the other kids in our ward shared, and helped us feel just a little more connected. 

Weird week

It was a weird week. I was in a funk. Intense events were happening nationwide. Social media morphed from a cozy place to touch base with friends to a polarized battleground of guilt trips and calls to arms. Inside my own home, all of my usual activities sounded either difficult or uninteresting in the most irritatingly relentless fashion. 

Just now, as I sat down to type this blog post, Amber destroyed a tree Rose built out of "brain flakes" building discs. Rose screamed and cried and shoved Amber away. Amber cried. As natural consequences, I had Rose apologize to Amber for the shove, and Amber had to clean up the busted pieces. Amber thought this was the most unfair edict ever, and in anger she tornado'd the blocks around the room, scattering them far and wide and making her clean-up job that much harder. For the next fifteen minutes or so, I endured Amber's endless protestations and outright refusal to clean up. Her main argument was she wanted lunch before she cleaned up the mess. I refused. She whined and moaned and kicked more pieces around. I told her whiny kids get naps instead of afternoon screen time. She got more mad. 

Happy Jeff-Day

June 1st was Jeff's birthday! We love him! I gave him an adult sized scooter. He gave himself a new video game controller. The kids made him cards. My mom sent him a book about a French snail named Escargot. Jeff requested Cajun shrimp for dinner and brownies with ice cream for dessert. I made my best batch of Cajun Shrimp ever, and even accessorized with several colorful side dishes. Side dishes are my nemesis, but I managed to slice a watermelon, heat and butter a can of sweet corn, cook the rice, and toss a heart of Romaine lettuce into a bowl. It was such a lovely summery meal, we ate it outside in the front yard. Lighting the birthday candles was a challenge in the breezy outdoors, so we don't have pictures of that portion. We lit a 3 and an 8 shaped candle, and one of them blew out before we could sing Happy Birthday at top speed. Jeff blew out the other one and we called it good. After dinner, Jeff's parents paid us a responsibly distant visit. They sat in our yard while we sat on our porch and chatted for half an hour. Happy birthday to the best husband ever!

Hex Mountain

About 100 miles northwest of our house is the tiny town of Cle Elum, nicknamed "the heart of the Cascades." Many recreation areas are still closed due to the pandemic, but extensive research revealed a gem of a trail hidden tucked away down an unmarked unnamed gravel road. No parking lot, no facilities, no closure--the perfect pandemic escape! This area was burned during the horrible wildfires of 2017, so trail info warned that it was a full-sun no-shade excursion. I knew I would need water for the endeavor. When my snazzy new hydration vest was delivered a few days early, I decided it was time to tackle the Hex Mountain Trail.  

May End

Another month is drawing to a close. Journal excerpts from the end of May: 

Monday, May 18, 2020. My book came today! The one I wrote! Well, it's the first draft, but I started reading it and got about a quarter of the way through. So far so good. I thought taking 2 weeks away from it felt like forever, but it all feels more familiar than I expected. I hope I can be objective and figure out what to do to it. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2020. Last night/early this morning I had the weirdest dream where I was preparing to fight Lord Voldemort and I couldn't find my wand. My wand was a tiny sewing pin and I kept losing it amidst a bunch of non-magical pins. In order to find my wand, I touched the pins and said "lumos" over and over until my wand-pin lit up. I knew I was going to fight Voldemort in my parents' house instead of Hogwarts, and I was stressed about making a mess in their house during my duel with my tiny pin-wand. It was a stressful dream, and I never actually got to the part where I fought Voldemort. Thank goodness! Haha, I haven't remembered a dream that vividly in a long time! Random!

Jay's Birthday

"It's not every day that your young man turns eleven." --Rubeus Hagrid in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scanning the pages of HP book one made me relatively certain that this quote is only spoken in the movie, not the book, sadly.  I have been holding onto Hagrid's movie-quote for the past few years in anticipation of Jay's eleventh birthday, and at last the day came. Thursday, May 21st was Jay's day. He turned eleven in his calm collected easygoing way. No fanfare or dramatics; just a boy joyfully digging into a pile of new books wearing his new toy sword. We love our Jay!

Halfway through May

Somehow we are already halfway through May. Somehow we are only halfway through May. The days are all blending together in a long blob of quarantine sameness. May marked the beginning of the end of any given day "feeling" like a specific day. For example, pre-pandemic, Monday felt like a Monday because we had just done the usual church Sunday routine the previous day. Friday felt like Friday because we had finished four full busy weekdays. Sunday felt like Sunday because it had been a week since we had a day of rest and went to church. Now, we have precious little to mark the passing of our days. Even my journal entries feel bland and similar. It is a challenge to TAKE each day and MAKE it useful when we have zero plans outside of our home. Running is my sanity right now.

Whites Ridge Run

Abstract, aka short version, aka Instagram summary of my glorious Monday run: I indulged in a long rugged solo run with wind-whispering pines, sun-warmed sap scent, sky-hugging views, and rushing icy water for company. It aired out my soul.

Detailed version: On Monday, May 11th, I decided to go on a trail run in Ahtanum State Forest, since most WA state parks opened back up the previous week. Jeff endorsed the outing and manned the home front while I wandered. Before I left, I looked up Whites Ridge Trail online to make sure that it was actually open. It was, so I packed a sandwich, an extra pair of socks, and some water, and drove the 75 minutes to the trailhead. I listened to piano music on the way there, and felt that familiar heady soaring sensation of freedom with every lovely note. Then I started passing actual trees and my anticipation mounted even higher. I asked myself over and over why I hadn't sought natural solitude before now, with all of the relentless home-home-home time we've had lately. Then I remembered that state parks only just barely opened up one week ago, and many of our favorite trails and all of our nearby national parks are still all closed. This outing was an extra-special treat.

The day for mothers

Mother's day is complicated. It catapults so many mixed up emotions into the air all at once, I get into a tangled twisted muddle. Normally I am content to do the mom gig and all that goes with it--currently, everything I do goes unnoticed and is taken for granted. But stupid ole mother's day comes along and makes me want things, like a little extra appreciation and love. During the week leading up to mother's day, I ran my own annoying personal gauntlet of emotions regarding the idea of mother's day. It was exhausting, but I made it out of the dark cavern little by little and now I am safely on the other side, back in the open air, back in my usual position behind the spotlight. I realize that my issues with mother's day are tame and lame compared to what many others go through, but that doesn't make them any less valid. I have a loving husband and three healthy kids; I shouldn't complain about them not "caring enough" on mother's day, whatever that even means. But I feel that way and it's ok. I get over it and we move on.

Spring Sunday

Jeff wasn't feeling well on Sunday (talented man managed to catch a minor bug while quarantined), so while he holed up in our bedroom, I did a home church lesson about trusting in the Lord. We read the story of Moses parting the Red Sea in conjunction with the words of Limhi in the Book of Mormon. We talked about how remembering times when God helped us in the past can boost our faith that he will help us in the future. We sang five verses of Book of Mormon Stories and two verses of Nephi's Courage alongside my messy piano playing. Then I declared a 4/5 family walk. The kids and I journeyed west along the canal, which feels exciting because we have to cross our street to go that direction and the kids never go that way on their own. We threw lots of rocks into the water. My elbow actually felt kind of sore later from all of the throwing. Jay and Rose kept finding me flat rocks to try and skip, but I could not for the life of me coax a single skip out of any rock, no matter what I did.

Quarandetails

Another week of quarantine homey moments is done. Another month has ended. Washington's governor has extended our stay-at-home order until May 30th, so the current home status quo isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Since I've been pumping all of my creative energies into writing a book for the past month, I have not felt as focused on writing about the "quarandetails" of daily life right now. Instead of writing about real life, I have been doing my best to snap random pictures throughout the day so I remember what is going on outside of my fictional world. Usually this everyday photography feels more natural, but when my mind is lost in fiction, I have to make a conscious effort to wake up and take a picture here and there.

Moments

This week was made up of a bunch of disjointed everyday moments. I lack the mental power to link them with a spunky narrative, so I made a blog post photo album with captions of moments from the week:

Virtually

Sometimes it feels like we're living in a virtual reality. Virtual lessons, video calls, video messages, emails, text messages, phone calls, etc. all from home. After Easter, we decided to stop getting together with our local family in Grandview, in order to protect Jeff's parents. It just seemed more responsible, although I fear we may have ruffled some familial feathers with that decision. Now we have one exception to our immediate family quarantine: Jay's buddy/brother Ian from next door. Upping our quarantine game! These are strange times. I don't want to judge other people for the way they do or don't keep apart. We're just doing what currently feels right. It's not perfect and I'm trying hard not to worry too much if we're being rude or doing/not doing enough, etc.

Tent towards home

For our home church lesson today, we had the kids pitch our tent in the front yard. We handed them our ancient three man tent and told them to set it up. Jeff and I sat on the porch and watched them struggle, chuckling quietly and occasionally calling out hints. Why is it so fun to watch our kids struggle? We had a grand time watching their ten-pitching show. It took Jay the longest time to get the tent out of the bag. He fiercely refused Rose's assistance for that part, so the girls played on the rope swing until Jay finally got the tent out of the bag. Then Jay and Rose wrestled the springy poles into the correct position on the roof while Amber wielded the short rain-fly-pole like Ninja Warrior Wonder Woman in the background.

Another weekly album

Here are the everyday pictures from April 5-10, aka quarantine/stay-at-home week four. One of my personal quarantine activities has been to attempt writing a cute little novel. It's something I have always dreamed about doing, and now that my time at home alone with Amber has suddenly been cut short and is over forever, I decided I had no reason to wait. I am loving my first attempt at large-scale fictional story crafting! It's hard and absorbing and fun. Since a whole lot of my writing energy is being spent elsewhere, this is a bare bones photos-with-captions post. Even if these captions aren't eloquent memories, they are still memories I want to hang on to!

Spring is sprouting and I have been admiring it from all angles. If we have to stay in our little bubble, at least it's a beautiful bubble.

Easter at home

We had a low-key, calm Easter weekend, consistent with our usual style. Usually Jeff is gone at a track meet on the Saturday before Easter, so it was extra cozy having him home all weekend... and all week, every week for the foreseeable future! This pandemic is causing plenty of negative effects in the world, but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate the handful of positives to come out of it! I may feel invaded and maxed out by the constant in-yo-face presence and demands of our kids, but I don't feel that way with Jeff home. I love having him around all the time!

Since we're used to track season swallowing up our pre-Easter Saturday, we forgot to do the kids' egg hunt on Saturday. It was fine though, because we finished our 2 week post-Denver self-quarantine and took the kids to see their local cousins at Grampa Dan's Saturday morning pancake breakfast. The kids played and played, then the girls went home with the cousins for a couple of hours, after which they came to our house for more playing. Rose missed her cousin-bestie Layne!

Pandemic food and fasting

Ever since we got home from Denver two weeks ago, I have been putting off going to Costco. I have heard enough tales of long lines of people wrapping around the outside of the store waiting for admittance at an appropriate social distance, to make me wary. Costco is tiring under normal circumstances. The mere thought of adding any element to the experience served as a deterrent for two whole extra weeks. Then the CDC recommended that everyone wear a protective mask in public. What with the extra long lines and the extra smothering face-gear, this grocery trip was looking more and more difficult the longer I waited. But still I waited. We made do with Sunnyside's two main local choices for as long as possible: Walmart and Safeway. Walmart and Safeway are perfectly adequate, but I only resupply current week-to-week needs there. Costco is for large-scale restocking. By today, it had been at least six weeks since my last Costco run, and our pantry supplies had thinned out significantly. Plus, a nice fat Costco rewards check had come in the mail. It was time. Today was the day.

Quarantine Routine

We have been home from our Denver visit for a week. No school, no outings, just the grocery store, running, and home. This was week one for us in the quarantine/stay-at-home time. (It was week three for everyone else in our state.) As a stay at home parent living outside of town in the wide open country, my life has not changed as drastically with the quarantine as many others have. This would be exponentially harder if we lived crowded in a big city, or even in a neighborhood! But we have room to breathe in the country. It is a little unreal to have Jeff home full time right now, because usually springtime is his most absent season, since he's a track coach. It's awesome seeing my husband in April! I can still go running every day with zero social contact-- all week I only saw two other humans outside while I was running. And since Jeff is home, I get to go out of the yard to run. Adios, field loops! I don't take anyone to the grocery store with me anymore, but that is also a bonus because I prefer to grocery shop sans-children. I don't miss having appointments and obligations outside the home--those have never been my fave. And yet, staying home indefinitely is still proving to be tough. One of my favorite memes to come out of this situation says "And just like that, nobody will ever ask stay-at-home moms what they do all day ever again." Hello silly, snarky, blessed validation.

Reeves Road

Several weeks ago, my around-the-corner neighbor reported an intimidating new dog north on Reeves Road. From that moment on, I couldn't muster the courage to run on that section of Reeves, even though it made up the entire beautiful backstretch to my favorite loop. I tried and tried to find a new loop to fill the void of my beloved Reeves route, but none of my new loops were quite as scenic or conveniently adjustable as dear ole Reeves, which has perfectly placed intersections where I could choose to turn and shorten the loop, or continue straight and lengthen it. This multi-purpose adjustable rectangular route could be 4, 5, 6, or even 7 miles, depending on my mid-run mood and energy levels.

Denverunning

Running in Denver = Denverunning. While we were in Denver last week, I enjoyed a wide variety of running routes. All of my running was done straight from my parents' driveway, exploring the local pathways of Greenwood Village. This was the first time that I managed to keep my bearings in the area around my parents' new house enough to improvise and wander while running. Fourth visit is the charm, I guess!

We decided to drive home on Friday, March 27th, leaving at 4am. On Thursday, while Jeff and I were trying to figure out strategies to make the drive as smooth and painless as possible, we hatched a new plan: leave at bedtime on Thursday night! It seemed like a great idea, eliminating the difficulty of waking up tired kids and herding them to toilet and then to the car. We would also avoid early morning lingering tearful goodbyes between the cute cousins. Obviously the sacrifice of staying up all night was not going to be easy, but we felt that the benefits outweighed the inconveniences. The drive was so long that we'd be driving plenty of time in the dark no matter when we left, so it was decided. We'd leave at 8pm Thursday night. Google Maps said the drive would take 17 hours 40 minutes straight through.

Quarantine photo stream

When we arrived at my parents' house on March 14th, Colorado was almost a week behind Washington in its COVID-19 progression and management. For the first week we were there, the situation gained major momentum every day. Eventually Colorado received shelter-in-place orders and we were officially not going anywhere but the grocery store (not that we went anywhere pre-quarantine since my parents' house has an excellent yard, but still-- it felt different to know that we couldn't go anywhere). We all just felt lucky to weather the first week of the quarantine together, when our kids had their cousins for entertainment and us adults had each other.

We chuckled at endless pandemic memes. The kids played and played and played with their cousins. We made all the jokes about how our gathering was over ten people so we were totally breaking the law. We listened to my brother Brad (who is in his first year of medical residency) tell about hospital situations and contagion management when he came home from work every night. We had church at home. We watched informational videos about the exponential curve. Every day, we discussed the short and long-term social, physical, and economic ramifications of the coronavirus. We lived in a bubble of quality  family fun time that was regularly punctured by pandemic developments.

Traveling on the edge

Every spring, my sister Em and I like to get together. Her husband gets swallowed up in tax season for his job and my husband gets swallowed up by track season as a coach, so it's the best time of year for a sister gathering. And our kids LOVE their cousins, so everyone is happy. We all look forward to our annual springtime visit. Jay especially was in countdown agony, so excited to see his best bud-cousins at last. When it was time to plan the trip back in January, we couldn't find any worthwhile (aka affordable) plane tickets between Pasco, WA and St. Louis. We started thinking outside the box and came up with DENVER. The entire rest of our family has recently moved to Denver, and it is a more central location between WA and MO. I also happened to find affordable plane tickets to Denver, so we decided to converge on my parents' house there in March. It was our first all-5-sister gathering! (not counting the annual reunion) The most sisters we've had together for our spring visit in the past was three.

Enter: COVID-19. On Friday March 13th, the same day of our flight to Denver, our state governor closed all schools until April 24th in order to slow the spread of the virus. With all of the virus hype and restrictions, I was a little nervous to fly from Pasco with our connecting flight in Seattle. It was also a bummer to leave Jeff right when he had been locked out of both his teaching job and his coaching job. But the cousins were waiting in Denver, so onward we went, traveling on the edge of the pandemic-wave! What I did not factor in was the cursed date: Friday the 13th was cruel to us without even invoking the evil of the coronavirus. My journal entry from that day says it all:

Photo Album

This is a photo album post--no subject, no story, just pictures and captions. I like remembering the in-between everyday moments, even if it's just with a poorly lit, awkwardly framed cell phone picture. Two thirds of these pictures have something to do with Amber, once again proving her dominance, vivacity, and enormous presence. Our everyday photo album from the past five weeks:

T-Day

It is T-Day: I gave a talk in church today. It was my first talk in two and a half years, and I battled nerves all week leading up to Sunday. It weighed on me so heavily that I was glad I only had one week to prepare. In spite of my pre-talk anxiety, this was the easiest time I've ever had writing a church talk. I had the entire talk written out within 24 hours of receiving the assignment. Then, of course, I spent the rest of the week tweaking words and agonizing over it until I thought I'd never survive on T-Day. Every time I was not actively looking at my talk, I felt insecure and uncertain about what I had written, questioning whether or not I should just chicken out and write a different, less personal, more generic talk. But then I would read what I had written again and all of those insecurities and doubts would leave. So I held steady, even though telling a 4+ minute opening story before getting around to my actual topic was a major departure from the norm for me. Speaking gospel doctrine is easy; telling personal experiences regarding how I feel about the gospel is scary!

Utah for a day

Jeff's Grandma Kay passed away on Saturday, February 22nd at age 96. The following Thursday, we made the 11 hour drive from our home to Bountiful, Utah so we could attend the funeral on Friday the 28th. It went like this: drive there Thursday, funeral Friday, drive home Saturday. It was intense but necessary. The funeral was a beautiful classy well-done tribute to Jeff's last living grandparent, and it was good to gather with the Argyle side of his family--the last time I saw that many Argyles in one place was at Jeff's sister Steph's wedding 9 years ago!

A Sandwich at Sunnyview

This morning I decided to run on the bike path while Amber rode her bike. We parked at Walmart, unloaded Amber's bike in the chilly sunshine, crossed the railroad tracks, and got on the bike path. Amber is a SLOW biker. I ran up ahead, then back to her, over and over and over, back and forth, back and forth, for what amounted to about a mile of the bike path. My watch told me I had run two miles over that one mile distance. At last we came to Sunnyview Park. I decided I was done with the bike path back-and-forth but still wanted to run more. So we dashed across the busy road to the park, where Amber parked her bike and played while I ran laps around her.

After about five minutes of jogging around the park, I realized that I couldn't see Amber anywhere. We had the park to ourselves, so it should not have been difficult to spot her pink boots and wild hair roaming around. But she was nowhere to be found! I ran over towards the silent playground, wildly wondering how on earth the girl could have given me the slip between the 30 second increments that I glanced over at the playground while running laps around it. Finally, far out in the middle of the massive field beyond the playground, I saw Amber wandering and slowly turning on the spot, clearly looking for me. I ran over to her.

Light and friendship

On Tuesday, I came across this quote from Blaise Pascal: "In difficult times, carry something beautiful in your heart." I love the idea of carrying something beautiful in my heart. That's why I read the scriptures every morning. That's why I do my best to maintain meaningful friendships. That's why I spend time with mother nature. We all need something beautiful to carry in our hearts!

While I sat in bed doing my best to read Isaiah on Tuesday morning, the sunrise slowly slid over me, lighting my scriptures, then my face until I was nearly blinded by the light. It was a beautiful symbolic moment, and possibly the most I've ever gotten out of Isaiah ever (outside of Handel's Messiah).

"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light." (Isaiah 9:2)

Cancelled

Alternate titles that I considered for this post:

• The trip that never was
• Staycation
• Ghosting 
• Travel travesty
• First-world tragedy
• Foiled!

As fun as it is to dream up silly descriptive titles, our week really can be summed up in one simple, painfully direct word: CANCELLED. For the past three years, Jeff and I have gone on what we lovingly dubbed our "yearly date trip" every February. Travel is cheap in February and President's Day weekend gives Jeff an extra day off work. Plus February is the anniversary of our first-ever date. February is our blissful date-escape month! Enter: real life.

My Gorgeous Muscle

Friday was a cheery sunny day for a nice long run. Jeff was home with Amber. The wind was stiff but it was still warm enough for shorts--always a treat in February. And that SUN! I ran headphone-free for the first time in weeks. In general I prefer running without headphones or music or books because running is my quiet thinking time, but during the winter, running is unpleasant enough that I lean heavily on audio distractions to get my running done. I had nearly forgotten how good it is to run with only my thoughts--nobody else's--going through my head. For the first time in weeks, I felt centered while running.

Rose turned NINE

We had a birthday around here this week!

Journal clip from February 6th: My second born child is turning nine tomorrow! Woah. Rose is so intense I often feel overwhelmed by her in-yo-face presence, but she is so diligent and dedicated with that intensity. And she has such a good heart. I loved asking her all of the birthday interview questions today. She had some thoughtful responses. I'm so thankful for my Rose-girl. I made the mistake of looking through some of her baby pictures tonight and started feeling that mom-ache of how has it been almost nine years already?? I think Rose skipped a few years in there somewhere. 

Vitamin Denver

My weekend was a treat: I flew to Denver to celebrate my newest niece! When the baby blessing date was announced via our family group text message last month, I started searching for flights and struck gold with an unlikely mega-deal from Pasco to Denver. Who am I to pass up a sweet sleek airfare? With my sainted husband's support at home, I flew out late Friday night and arrived home Monday morning. (Sleep was secondary.) A wind advisory made my Friday flights rather harrowing and late, causing a frantic power-walk session through the Seattle airport, where I skimmed into the boarding line of my connecting flight just in the nick of time. I even managed to snag a strange green Caesar wrap for dinner at a convenient food stand next to the gate. Then it was back into the choppy air. My plane landed in Denver just before midnight, and my beloved mother picked me up. We arrived back at her house at 1am mountain time. 

Springtime in January

Winter is so much easier to bear when it doesn't feel like winter! We finished January with surprisingly warm weather and it was so glorious to run in SHORTS that I ran every day. Even my tedious field laps out behind our house couldn't dampen my enthusiasm, although I did have to re-route my regular loop due to mud in the lower portion of the field. It rained a good amount this week too. Jeff felt himself again, the kids and I stayed healthy, and winter gave us a reprieve. I keep thinking that maybe I wouldn't have appreciated the positives of this week without last week's difficulties. Yay for refining fires! And double yay for the in-betweens reprieves!

And now, to flesh out that feeble weekly summary, a few journal excerpts from the week:

Trundling along

Even though we had only four days of school, this week was lengthy. We trundled along through all of the appointments and activities: Jeff had parent teacher conferences two nights. Jay had taekwondo three nights. Amber had preschool two days. I attended a baby shower one night and a chiropractor appointment another morning. Jay and Rose had piano lessons one night and separate piano ensemble recital rehearsals on Saturday. Reducing our week into a list of numbers like this makes the week appear stark and simple, when it really was quite tiring with lots of back-and-forth driving.

Jeff was in anxiety-survival mode all week. When this happens, everything is up to me--from driving kids to activities to brushing Amber's teeth to policing chores and refereeing arguments. Jeff was a shell of his usual self and as much as I tried to give him space and let him weather his storm, it was hard not to feel betrayed by his lack of attention. As the week progressed, I realized that it wasn't only the act of doing everything by myself that was wearing on me; it was the lack of communication, cheer, and normal husbandly presence that really wore me out. I am getting better at navigating these fraught choppy waters that all spouses of the mentally ill must sail, but I still have a long way to go. Even with my slowly accumulating navigational abilities, the fact remains that without my husband's joint amusement, commiseration, and side-jokes, simple daily activities and battles feel endlessly draining and lonely.