Spring Sunday

Jeff wasn't feeling well on Sunday (talented man managed to catch a minor bug while quarantined), so while he holed up in our bedroom, I did a home church lesson about trusting in the Lord. We read the story of Moses parting the Red Sea in conjunction with the words of Limhi in the Book of Mormon. We talked about how remembering times when God helped us in the past can boost our faith that he will help us in the future. We sang five verses of Book of Mormon Stories and two verses of Nephi's Courage alongside my messy piano playing. Then I declared a 4/5 family walk. The kids and I journeyed west along the canal, which feels exciting because we have to cross our street to go that direction and the kids never go that way on their own. We threw lots of rocks into the water. My elbow actually felt kind of sore later from all of the throwing. Jay and Rose kept finding me flat rocks to try and skip, but I could not for the life of me coax a single skip out of any rock, no matter what I did.

Sweet Jay was feeling very concerned that Amber would over-rotate and tumble into the canal, but I assured him that if she did happen to fall in, I'd save her. Every time Amber wound up for another rock-throw, Jay said "oh no, Amber!" under his breath. When Rose tried holding hands with Jay, he shook her off. He cares about his sisters, but not in a hand-holding way, haha. Amber was on the lookout for "perfect rocks" to add to her growing rock garden back at home. By the end of our walk, she had a whole shirt-pouch full of ideal rocks to add to her collection. I thought for sure she'd get tired of holding her shirt up to carry the rocks, but she was determined and held on for the entire 35 minute walk.

The air was clear and fresh from Saturday night's rain, and the pale spring plant life has turned to richer green under the farmers' careful irrigation. Deep blue sky, bright green grass, puffy white clouds, reflective canal water: it was lovely. We walked a mile.

I could close the sweet Sunday scenery right there, but it would feel dishonest to leave out the intense draining screeching argument between Rose and Amber that took place later that evening. A journal excerpt from Sunday night tells the travesty:

We had spaghetti for dinner. So easy. The whole meal was cooked, eaten, and cleaned up by 5:30pm. That's when everything hit the fan. The girls sat down to play a game of Slamwich (slapjack with sandwich shaped cards) while I played the piano. I started in the primary children's songbook, playing sweet songs about following Jesus' example and all that. While I was playing those hopeful songs, the girls started having arguments about their card game. My peaceful piano-ing did not affect their squabbles in the slightest. 

The arguments peaked and waned several times before Rose chased Amber across the house, screeching like a banshee. I gave up on the piano and went to break up their fight. It was ridiculous, and both sides were at fault. Amber wasn't following the rules/was taunting Rose, and Rose was taking it all personally/blaming Amber for Rose's violent, high-decibel actions and reactions. Over the years, I have tried numerous techniques to deal with Rose when she's in these fiery passions, and none of them have ever really worked. Tonight I used my least favorite head-on confrontation argue-it-out-face-to-face method. It didn't work either, and I was so completely drained after it that I have been a shell of a human ever since. UGH. 

How on earth am I going to survive teenage years with my fiery intense daughters? I feel discouraged as a parent. It seems like nothing I do during Rose/Amber fights matters.

[end journal entry]

Oh, parenting. The highs are high, the lows are low. The in-between middles dominate. That's either very profound, or very blatant. I can't tell. Final Truth: in the end I love my kids anyways, eardrum-shattering confrontations and all. Thank goodness for pictures of the happy blue-sky-highs.

That black speck in the middle of the sky is the rock that Rose threw. She prefers to fling rocks underhand, which gets them to travel farther but also gives her very unpredictable aim.

My boy.

We played follow the leader for a little while, and the game ended with it was Amber's turn because she took off running as fast as she could and Jay and I didn't feel like keeping up.

We came upon a small field of white weed flowers--maybe a form of Queen Anne's Lace? The girls stopped and gathered bouquets. Jay and I suspicioned that we were allergic to these pretty weeds, but they were too pretty to resist.

 I'm not sure how Amber managed to pick flowers while holding onto her rocks, but she did it. 

 Sisters. Eventually Rose offered to hold Amber's flowers so Amber could continue her one-handed rock questing and throwing. 

Traditional selfie at the turnaround point.

The return journey.

 Most of the canal has steep high banks, but there were a few spots with a shallower incline where we could get closer to the water.

 Amber's rock garden, by our side door: Amber has lovingly selected all of these rocks over the past two years.

After the walk, they lined up all 120 of Rose's beloved crayons in rainbow order, read every single color name aloud, and then counted them together. Intensity has many forms.