A New Perspective

This morning, like many mornings, Jay, Rose, and I lounged in my bed for 20-ish minutes, talking and snuggling, before getting up for breakfast.

After my run, we made awesome blue playdough together. I watched Jay and Rose play with it for a while and then joined in with the squishy blue stuff.

Jay made a family of gingerbread men.

Rose tasted the playdough…see the blue speck on her lip? Evidence.

I got on the computer, and as usual, Jay kept asking me to play with him instead. I checked Facebook, emails, and worked on our February food plan for a while—month-long meal plans always take me forever to construct.

I made neon Kraft-mac with hot dogs in it for lunch—the most kid friendly treat of all time! Jay and Rose chowed it down and lived it up because I rarely make that garbage for lunch (something about the color is just wrong…well, and I did live off of it for a brief period when I was sick, but we won’t go into that).

I called my Mom and talked with her.

We read some stories. I did NOT sneak off to play my violin.

Laynie came over again, and we admired her and played with her and fed her. Rose took a nap. Jay played with his toys. I took care of Miss Layne and finished the February meal plan, kind of thinking “oh yeah, I’ve still got it—getting things done with a baby in the house!” Then Jeff came home and I made dinner while he played with the kids.

During Jay’s bedtime prayer, all he said was “mommy didn’t play with me today.” It about BROKE my heart!!! Can we say guilt trip? Here I am cruising through the day, feeling like a good mom, whipping out sweet blue playdough and mac n cheese, taking cute pictures, reading stories, making budget-saving meal plans, and hugging my kids any time they come to my knees. SLAP!  CRASH! Reality check. All my kids really want is for me to sit down on the floor with them and make up goofy Star Wars-Nutcracker-Sesame Street stories and build with blocks.

I know this, and yet it’s a challenge every day to act on it. I love being with my kids, but it takes extra effort to be with them and do the things that they want to do instead of the things that I want to do with them.

From my perspective, I was dividing my time between kids, housework, and personal time rather well today. But from Jay’s perspective, I was so NOT. Sigh, it’s easy to let this realization get me down and make me feel like a failure, but I’m doing my best to notice the lesson in perspective and learn from it!

So far, here are my lessons:
a. the things that I think are cool and fun and important are DIFFERENT from the things that my kids think are cool and fun and important.
b. as Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Love is really spelled T-I-M-E.”

And as Anne Shirley said, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?…There must be a limit to the mistakes one person can make, and when I get to the end of them, then I’ll be through with them. That’s a very comforting thought.”

Here’s to a fresh start. And lots of block towers with Whiteguys and Elmos on top.