Home again, home again

After eight days in the hospital, I finally came home on Wednesday (April 2nd). It is so good to be home. I have been thoroughly enjoying the small scenes that I missed out on in my solitary, beeping hosptial room: Jay climbing back onto his tall stool at the kitchen counter 4 times in a row in order to perfect his dismount (frontward jump to the floor). Rose combing her hair with the carrot she's munching. Jay snuggling up with me in my chair with a pile of blankets, and just talking together. Rose's extravagant art projects that span the kitchen floor. Jeff patiently fetching me drinks, snacks, and meals so I don't have to move my tender stomach. Steph and Grama Leslie visiting with little Layne and baby Tate to bring squishy baby cheer to my worn countenance. Layne gives the best hugs I've ever seen from a one year old. Tate still smiles at me. I love my family. All I can do right now is love them from my chair, but I love them so much.

The conditions of my release, aka, my parole from the hospital: I have to return every day for two liters (that's two bags) of fluids: one "banana bag," the yellow one, full of vitamins and spiked with obscene amounts of Zofran and Reglan. And one regular clear bag. It takes 4 hours for those to pump through my PICC line and into my bloodstream. It usually takes about half an hour for them to get everything squared away and hooked up, plus a 15 minute drive to the hospital and the 15 minute drive home. That equals roughly five hours per day spent solely on keeping me alive. It's worth it and obviously better than living at the hospital, but it already feels long. I am still not up to driving myself to the hospital, so I have to get a ride with someone. And then my kids need somewhere to go while I am in getting pumped. Luckily, this week has been the high school's spring break, so Jeff has been home and able to take care of everything like the champ he is, but starting next week, I'm going to be relying even MORE heavily on my dear friends, ward, and family. It's hard being so helpless. 

Another hard thing for me is being ok with my dulled wits and brain function. When I anticipate all the discomforts of pregnancy, I always brace myself for the physical horrors of it all. But somehow I manage to edit out the mental side. My brain feels fuzzy and out of focus. Maybe it's all the drugs, but I think it's also just so-called placenta brain. It's hard because some of my favorite pastimes should be easily doable when I'm confined to an armchair for multiple months: I should be able to read an entire library of books, right? Wrong! I can read, but I don't appreciate a well-written book or any clever wording that inspires thought. The joys of reading are lost on my fuzzybrain. Writing also comes at a huge cost. This poor withered blog is suffering right along with my personal journal. I love having a record even of the bad times, but this one is going to be sparse. 

For family movie night (something I can actually participate in, as long as we do it upstairs instead of in the basement), we watched Frozen. Rose has seen it 3 times already, but this was my first viewing. It actually lived up to the hype--I liked it a lot. Perfect Disney extravegance and splendor. I see why it has thrilled many a young heart. I was nervous after hearing so many people gush over it for so long. And I was determined to hate the stupid snowman because he looked like he was going to be an idiot, but he was my favorite! "Some people are worth melting over." Darling. I loved watching Rose watch the movie. She was so proud to show it to me, and she kept explaining parts to me. She alternately bobbed her head along with the music, clenched her fists in anxiety, and giggled at funny parts. Her excitement was palpable. It made me happy.

Ok, I think that's all I have to say for now. Except that Jeff drove 40 minutes to the nearest Panda Express to bring me orange chicken for dinner tonight. Bless my husband. Here are the few pictures I've taken over the past few weeks:

 

When Jeff is gone, Jay preps breakfast: milk and cereal.

It gets a little messy.

I do Rose's hair, and she acessorizes her bunny.

Sunrise through the kitchen curtains, as seen from my recliner one morning a few weeks ago.

While I was in the hospital, Jeff gutted and updated our computers, and he lets Jay and Rose play Lego games on the computer. I don't have any love for computer games, but I do love listening to Jay and Rose and watching them while they play. Just because they're so cute. 

This cute tiny tree was right outside my hospital window. I looked at it a lot over those 8 days.

A close-up of a "banana bag." I still think it looks gross. But it's magic potion!

This baby is going to be pretty sweet, because SUGAR has been my main desire for the past two weeks. Mostly fruity sugar. Any fruity-ness but strawberries. Bananas, applesauce, Froot Loops, fruit juice. I'm living off of it. The hospital gives me these peel-top bowls of Froot Loops on request whenever I'm there.

Did I ever post this picture? I'll post it again if I have. I love them.