Be better

I can't believe tomorrow is January 1, 2016! My main goal: Do better and be better than I was last year! A friend wrote on Instagram today that she has made this same single goal for herself for the past five years: "be more awesome than I was last year!" She is wise. That's all we can do--try our best to be better than before. I thought of goals to fit under that heading this year. Instead of what I want to get done, I am focusing more on how I want to BE...I guess that makes them more like resolutions than goals, but I'm not in the mood for twisty turn-y semantics right now.

• Be patient, positive, cheerful, courageous, and kind. 
• Stop complaining--even in private, even in my own mind--look for the GOOD and celebrate it.
• Study the teachings of Jesus Christ every day. 
• Give a soft answer (resist "ranting and raging" both verbally and [especially] mentally, even [especially] when righteous motherly/housekeeper's indignation strikes). 
• Have intentional FHE every week and family scripture and prayer every day: share my testimony with my kids and teach them the gospel.
• Listen to understand rather than to reply (I love that--I read it somewhere online today--I think Stephen R. Covey said that or something similar to it).
• Choose the better part: don't get caught up in good things; get caught up in the BEST things!
• Repent every day.
• Discipline with love.
• Be there.
• Pay attention.
• Read.
• Find the JOY in every day.

Many of these are lofty goals (or resolutions?) for me. They are aimed at both my weaknesses and my ideals. They define WHO I want to be and who I'm always trying to become. Goals are traditionally supposed to be specific and measurable, but this year I feel DONE with that kind. Quite frankly, they stress me out. I am a self motivated, intrinsically driven person and having a list of Big Things To Accomplish in a year mostly stresses me out. I want to accomplish Big Things, like clean out those hall closets and mop that kitchen floor (yes, mopping has become a Big Thing) and get a specific food storage plan in place, and read the whole Book of Mormon again, and practice the piano regularly, but I'm finding that in my unpredictable current stage of life I feel best about myself when I'm not burdened with those kinds of goals that take time and energy away from what matters most: my family.

It's all too easy to get caught up in perfectly noble causes, like practicing the piano and cleaning out closets. But just because they are noble, it doesn't mean they are the best use of my energy. I know personal time is vital to recharge and refresh myself, (and I fully intend to take that me-time when it's needed), but I want my 2016 goals to point me toward my family rather than pull me away from them. This year I want to focus on improving myself and how I AM with my loved ones. I want to be a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I want to make a conscious effort to choose the best over the good, to BE cheerful even amidst daily frustrations/messes, not only to be there with my kids and family but also to be there for them.

I've read that sharing goals makes you far less likely to actually accomplish them, because the sharing makes you feel like you've already done them. People applaud your intentions and since you've been applauded up front, you don't feel any urge to follow through with the goals. In this case, however, the reason for sharing my aspirations comes more from my epiphany that it's perfectly ok for traditional, measurable goals not to work for me. There's no law that says we have to make new year's resolutions!

Jeff always stays up till midnight on New Year's Eve on principle, but I usually go to bed. In my "old age," I'm finding that my favorite way to celebrate the new year is to start it off well rested.

Here's to a well-rested, patient, positive, cheerful new year!