I'm really too tired to get into specifics, but it was the usual stubborn child slowly getting ready for school that kicked it all off. We barely squealed into school in the nick of time. Then I had to go to Walmart, which is never my favorite. I went running with my friend and our strollers afterwards, and that was nice as usual, though tiring because: stroller. The rest of the day, Amber was all up in my business licking, biting, tugging my arm, and interrupting everything. We had to drive to piano lessons at 2:15pm so she didn't get a nap. I gave her an iPad and kept her locked in her car seat during piano lessons while I sat in the front seat and read a book: worth it!
By dinner time, I was just worn out. (we had easy spaghetti) Being a mom is plain ole tiring and mundane lots of the time, and I wilted at the thought of an entire week of forcing a certain daughter to get ready for school in time. This morning the the kids read our Light the World daily December act of service from the kids version of the calendar: Matthew 22:39 "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" -- leave a surprise on your neighbor's doorstep. They asked what we should give, and in the morning rush, I gave an unmemorable noncommittal answer like "we'll see." As the day continued to progress in all of its frustrations, I found myself thinking wryly (and honestly) that I didn't want to let my kids serve OTHERS when they won't even serve their own MOTHER! (socks on floor, messes, milk left out, whining, demands, arm-licking, dishes heaped, running late, etc etc). Thinking up a surprise to leave on our neighbors' front step felt like just another burden for The Mom to shoulder and figure out. At least that's what my Monday Moodiness whined at me. But our weekend of Christmas festivities reminded me that picture perfect moments don't happen without plenty of chaos, whining, and impossibilities surrounding them (more on that later).
So for family home evening tonight sitting around the dinner table eating spaghetti, I gave a one minute lesson: Jesus said love thy neighbor as thyself. Who is your neighbor? Is it only the people next door? Thankfully the kids knew that that scripture means our neighbor is everyone. I reminded them that their FAMILY and their PARENTS also fall under that neighborly category. I put in a plug for helping mom out by listening to her the first time, not waiting till reminder #100 to act. Then we drew faces on baby oranges (one for each person in our neighbors' family--including their three pets--but not their chickens), put them in a basket, and walked over to our neighbors' house to deliver them. We didn't even think they were home, but they were, so we sang We Wish You a Merry Christmas to them and they invited us in for a little chat. They are so nice and welcoming and it was a Good Thing to visit them. When we left I felt happy. We didn't do anything big or important or particularly helpful with our basket of oranges, but it was still happy.
After some thought, I am realizing/remembering that service isn't always just about helping others. Service helps ME too. Duh, Shaina! I have been on the receiving end of so much service in the past couple of years that I thought I had service all figured out:
- Allowing others to serve me is meaningful and humbling for me: check.
- Service isn't about the actions, it's about the love behind the actions: check.
- Even if there's no way to know how helpful our service actually is, it's always good to serve anyways: check.
- Service doesn't have to be big to be meaningful; it can be a small simple thing: check.
Our tiny basket of smiling oranges was definitely a small simple offering, but going and giving together as a family and getting to know our neighbors a little bit better felt good. It took me out of myself and my blah Monday mood just enough to realize that my own life doesn't have to be perfect for me to give a little love to others. My house doesn't have to be tidy, with all the dishes done and toys picked up for me to walk next door and say hi, thanks for being our neighbors, and yes, we'd be happy to take care of your chickens over Christmas break.
Tonight's addition to my ongoing list of Service Lessons: my own day/mood/situation/house/family does not have to be in perfect condition for me to serve others. Of course, I have to take care of what's needed at home before waltzing off to save the world with service, but the idea that I don't have to take care of everything at home before serving outside the home had never occurred to me so plainly. The kids were wild, the kitchen crumby, the toys scattered, but we gathered together and drew each of our neighbors' faces on oranges and it was fun. Rose can draw good cat faces. Amber colored an orange pink. Jay misspelled a name so we got out a fresh orange for him to write on. We had family fun in the middle of a hectic chaotic day. The kids were excited to deliver the oranges. Our neighbors were so kind and welcoming. They are in our ward, and awesome human beings, and even let Amber climb all over their furniture (eek).
Conclusion: bad day? Move on! I'm not the only mother who's ever had a day full of kid barricades and stubbornness. Service helps, and it is always worthwhile to be kind. It does not come naturally to me to leave home and serve others after a draining day spent serving my family. It does come naturally to hide at home with a laptop to write about my tough day or about how I don't like to go out! Hah. Service is good, but it is not always the answer for me--sometimes I am too sucked dry to give another inch. I am learning to balance between the self care of surrendering to my hermit/introverted tendencies and getting OUT THERE and challenging myself to connect with others and serve them if I can.
I discovered this picture on Facebook after we left our neighbors' house. They really are a bunch of cuties.
And, because I always have plenty of pictures to share, here are a few from yesterday (Sunday):
Jay proudly wore his "caught being reverent" sticker on his forehead for a while. I love seeing the goofy little ways that our family copies things we heard from the Ramona Quimby books. We are listening to the eighth and final book in the car right now, and we have all loved every chapter! Also: we experimented with hair gel in Jay's hair before church yesterday, and he was loving the stiff fluffy-ness of it. Of course he got up in sacrament meeting and bore his testimony with that awesome hair (he kept running his fingers through it so it looked different every five minutes). Then he shared a scripture story in front of the primary with his hair in another tall crazy arrangement, and after that each primary kid had their picture taken individually for a project. So Jay and his gel-hair were about as visible and memorable as possible!
Waiting for tithing settlement after church yesterday. Amber found her friend (whose mom was doing choir) and joined his iPad time without asking. He didn't seem to mind too much, and they sat quietly under the table in the foyer for half an hour.
Driving the minivan home from church in a manly way.
The White girls before and after: the five day freezing fog finally lifted during church. Above: 9:30am, below: 2pm.
Hello, sunshine! Rosie's little legs are encased in elephantine knee-high boots which she loves and I regret buying, even if they were brand new at Goodwill for only $5.
Sunday's light the world service was call someone you don't talk to often enough. Jay and Rose FaceTimed their Missouri cousins, Jeff called his brother, and I called my dad.
Sunrise is even more beautiful after fog.
1 comment:
I so agree with your thoughts about serving. As mom's we are ALWAYS serving, but moving outside the family to other's needs is somehow so therapeutic. You are doing amazing things with that family of yours.
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