My Gorgeous Muscle

Friday was a cheery sunny day for a nice long run. Jeff was home with Amber. The wind was stiff but it was still warm enough for shorts--always a treat in February. And that SUN! I ran headphone-free for the first time in weeks. In general I prefer running without headphones or music or books because running is my quiet thinking time, but during the winter, running is unpleasant enough that I lean heavily on audio distractions to get my running done. I had nearly forgotten how good it is to run with only my thoughts--nobody else's--going through my head. For the first time in weeks, I felt centered while running.

Due to several new dogs, I had to hunt out a new route to run. I turned northward to the dog-free orchards, wandering the curving dirt roads between blocks of apple trees. (They really are called blocks--each block is labeled with wooden signs painted with "Block 4 Gala" and "Block 2 Granny." I should know more about the local agriculture but all I know I learn from observation on the run, haha.) I didn't have a pre-determined loop to complete. I didn't have a specific plan in mind, aside from wanting to run between 30 and 80 minutes. It was a very freeing feeling. The threat of dogs retreated among the orderly rows of apple trees. I waved at workers out pruning the trees. I wandered. It got windier. I wandered more. My thoughts wandered one way, my legs wandered another. Simultaneous physical and mental wandering fed my body and soul. 

Along one particularly pleasant stretch between orchard blocks, I paused for a picture. It was Valentine's Day and I was wearing funny knee high compression socks with red hearts on them, and I wanted a picture. I stacked a clod of dirt on top of a tuft of grass, balanced my phone on top, set the timer, and ran for it like usual. Later when I looked at the picture, I noticed how BUFF and defined my quad muscle looked mid-stride. Normally the "down stride" position is the least flattering part of the running motion for a picture, with gravity pulling every body part and article of clothing downward. But this time my quad disagreed with tradition as it rebelliously popped out in well-defined glee. For a moment I was pleased. Then the tempering thoughts crowded in:

• I am not really that strong.
• That is my good side.
• I only run 30 miles per week--marathoners run that in a day! 
• I am so much weaker than this picture makes me look.

It is true that in spite of my running, I am rather physically weak. My upper body is flimsy. I can't even do five push-ups! For the past few months I have been trying to untangle a nagging shoulder problem on my left side with the help of chiropractic adjustments, stretching, and massage. My left hip and hamstring have also always been a weak area and this month I began a few simple exercises to strengthen them. Even though I started with a tiny number of reps, I managed to make my hip sore. As a result, all week I have been icing, stretching, and massaging my various sore/tight/weak spots in an attempt to regain full mobility and strength. My entire left side feels rather wimpy.

So when I saw that picture of my gorgeous muscle, I was surprised to see such a display of strength because I knew how many other parts of my body were quite the opposite. The picture seemed dishonest! If I have so many weak parts, how dare that one strength peek out and make me a hypocrite?

While discussing "being one body" at church a few weeks ago, an awesome elderly man wryly commented "the most important part of my body is the part that hurts the most!" As one who values my ability to move and run, I spend lots of time focusing on the weaker parts of my body in an attempt to strengthen them and improve my performance and more importantly, the way I feel during and after running. All of that time spent on bringing my weak parts up to snuff leaves little time for appreciating my strong parts.

The picture of my gorgeous muscle taught me a few widely applicable lessons. Just because I have weaknesses, it doesn't mean I don't have strengths. Just because I am aware of my weaknesses, it doesn't mean I can't acknowledge my strengths. What a transforming idea! I can celebrate and use my strengths while working on my weaknesses. Maybe my strengths will even help me overcome my weaknesses!

We are given weaknesses to be humble, yes, but we are given strengths to serve and choose and act and LIVE! 

I don't want to be so caught up in my weaknesses that I forget to use my strengths.