Silver Linings of 2020

2020 was a year of cancellations, restrictions, unrest, and uncertainty, but it was also a year of introspection, slowing, seeking, finding, and discovering. At the end of each year, it's easy to list all of the reasons we're glad to turn over a new leaf and begin a fresh new year. Human nature always finds it easier to say goodbye to discomfort and sadness. Remembering the good is what makes parting ways hard, but the comfy happy good isn't good without the uncomfy tough blah to define it. So while I am completely ready to leave 2020 and all of its difficulties in the past, I have also taken some time to think of what gifts 2020 gave me. It was a unique year with unique challenges, the kind of refiner's fire that burned hot and bright in multiple areas at once. 

What parts of me came out of those flames brighter, cleaner, and stronger? In other words, what did I learn from navigating the rigors of 2020? Here's my list:

20 Gifts from 2020:

1. FITNESS: I began to understand the value of full-body fitness rather than my previous single-minded running fitness. That seems like a non-issue, but I have never considered other forms of exercise worthwhile. I was a total running snob! 2020 brought me to see the importance of daily activity, regardless of the format. [the next four items on this list fall under the fitness category.]
2. YOGA: After a lifetime of avoiding and misunderstanding yoga, I started doing yoga for the first time in April, using a YouTube channel recommended to me by a friend. Yoga is the best, most wholesome full-body "maintenance" of all time! I'm hooked.
3. TRAIL RUNS: I rediscovered my old love of trail running, and that it's possible here in my real life, with a little extra driving. 
4. BIKE: With the help of a new mountain bike and some padded shorts (and a hurt ankle that left me desperate for low-impact aerobic exercise), I started mountain biking and was shocked to find that I actually enjoy it! The new challenge keeps me humble. 
5. WALK: I started going on walks much more regularly, both alone and with Jeff. We have always enjoyed walking together, but usually reserved it for our travels. Without our usual busy schedule this year, we have been walking much more frequently and it feels good.
6. WRITE: I jumped into the deep end and wrote the first draft of my first-ever novel! It was absorbing and fascinating and hard and embarrassing and confusing and such a stretching new experience. I learned a great deal about both the writing process as well as the value of jumping in and learning as I go (not my usual learning style--I prefer precise instructions to follow). This process also revealed how much I have to learn about writing, especially writing extended narratives. 
7. LET GO: If ever there was a year to teach me how to let go, 2020 was that year. As a perpetual planner, I like having my plans all in order. It was a tough-yet-valuable 2020 lesson to learn how to let go of my beloved plans and live more in the moment.
• I wrote that draft of my book, revised half of it, then got waylaid by distance learning when the school year started and after much frustration realized that I had to let it go. My story needed more of me than I had to give at that time, so I set it aside. Maybe I'll get back to it in the new year, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll take what I learned from the process and write a different story. The lesson was in letting go of my plans.
• I hurt my ankle in June and again in October. Letting go of specific exercise hopes, goals, and needs was tough, but it opened up new options with yoga, mountain biking, walking, and hiking.
• I adore well-laid travel plans especially. 2020 said no, and I learned to let my beautiful travel plans go.
8. PIANO: Before distance learning took over our house in September, I was doing a whole lot more voluntary piano playing than ever before. While my piano playing is still impressively non-technical, all of my extra playing honed and improved my piano abilities to a higher level than ever before.
9. ANTI-RACISM: Events of 2020 inspired me to poke around in less familiar territory and examine myself in a new way. I committed to being anti-racist and began an earnest study of racism by reading and listening to illuminating, perception-altering memoirs and books about the subtleties of systemic racism. I feel changed and want to keep changing in this area.
10. POLITICS: Since most issues were heavily politicized in 2020, it's not a big surprise that I felt more political this year than I have ever felt before. I sought out information and did my best to filter through the biases to form my own opinions on the myriad of political topics. I doubt I understand any of the issues fully, but it feels good to try and to care and to vote and to hope for more.
11. FAMILY: We spent extra time with my family in Denver. Oddly enough, we spent more than twice the total time with my side of the family in this year of pandemic restrictions than we usually do in a year. In March, we arrived in Denver just as the world was shutting down, so we extended our stay an extra week-plus. In July, we self-quarantined so faithfully before heading to Denver that we decided to stay for two weeks to make the quarantine effort worthwhile. That totals up to a full month spent visiting family! It's nice to remember that time we had together, because the gathering restrictions around the holidays made family feel even farther away.
12. FAMILY SCRIPTURE STUDY: We read (listened to) the entire Book of Mormon as a family in one year! After every chapter, we each took a turn sharing something that stood out to us. Family scripture sharing is valuable. It was wonderful to fill so much of our seemingly endless together-time with scripture truths. I think it expanded our family's "scripture stamina," which can only help in the new year, right? Our 2021 study of the Doctrine and Covenants and church history will definitely benefit from our accumulated spiritual stamina, haha.
13. MARCO POLO: My sisters and I created a video message group with the five of us on Marco Polo. Video messages are personable and easy to understand--nuance and emotion get lost so easily in text. Without 2020, we may never have created our Marco Polo group. My one other Marco Polo-regular friend is Danae, who lives across town from us, and I must add that her messages are also a much-appreciated social lifeline (although our Marco Polo association pre-dates the 2020 pandemic).
14. FACE-TO-FACE: 2020 taught me to cherish face-to-face interactions with friends and loved ones. As an introvert, I generally feel that need to limit my face-to-face interactions because they can be so draining. 2020 had even my 100% introverted soul craving some quality face-to-face time with non-household members. Over the summer, we had weekly outdoor gatherings with friends where the moms sat and talked for hours while the kids ran and played. It hearkened back to the toddler days when we would have play group! This summer all of the kids were way to old for the moms to sit and watch them play, but we did it anyways because we missed our friends too!
15. WEDVENTURES: They only lasted a few weeks, but the Wedventure outings with just me and my kids were some of my favorite memories from 2020. That and our weekly Saturday family bike rides. I hope the kids look back fondly on fall of 2020 at all of the outdoor adventuring and exploring we did together.
16. WASHINGTON: Once we got over/let go of our plans and expectations for 2020, I found a surprising amount of contentment closer to home. Normally we like to travel far and wide and then come back to our cozy home in the countryside of central WA. This year we didn't get to travel as far or as wide as we would have liked to, but when we looked closer to home to scratch that travel itch, we had a wealth of natural beauty and a variety of gorgeous places to explore right here in our own state of Washington. My appreciation for our state increased.
17. NO RUSH: One small gem of a gift from 2020 was how infrequently we were in a rush for anything. For some reason, when people talk about "slowing down," I seem to think of moving more slowly. But a benefit of having nowhere to go was that we had nowhere to be, which translated to no rushing. No rushing kids into shoes and jackets. No stressful "hurry up, we're late!" No anxiety about being on time. What a restful way to live. Of course, when hybrid school started back up at the end of October, we did start having two days of school rush per week, but it was still far less than pre-2020 life! I hope to remember how it felt and bring some of that no-rush restfulness with me when life picks up the pace again. 

[I'm counting the 3 bullets underneath #7 in the total to get my list up to 20.]

There it is: proof that 2021 does not mean that 2020 won! While it's hard to process the year when we're still in the thick of things, with challenges that aren't fully resolved, it feels good to ponder some positive effects of the pandemic. Thanks for the lessons, 2020.