Drifting

The temperature steadily dropped during the second week of February, and the forecast for President's Day/Valentine's Day weekend first mentioned snow, then jumped straight to Winter Storm Advisory. Just like it does on this exact weekend nearly every year. Jeff and I prefer to be on our yearly date trip to far off lands of sunshine and pastry when these annual blizzards hit, but alas, the pandemic is still flourishing, denying our many European travel dreams. The sudden retreat back to hard frosty winter hit me hard. I was a cranky sun-deprived grump off and on for the entire 4 day weekend. I would get grumpy, feel bad about it, force myself to cheer up (not an authentic way to be cheerful) for a little while before the effort exhausted me and I sank back into frigid blues. The problem with inconsistent winter weather is that I get all soft when the sun shines, and that sunny softness makes it nigh impossible to handle more hard cloudy cold. We got about five inches of snow and it lingered all week, melting incrementally every day.

Journal excerpt from Saturday, February 13th: 

Waaaahhhh argggg grrrrr. I am feeling so grumpy and irritable and kind of just mad at everything right now, and I can't even figure out WHY. I did yoga this morning and then faced the snowy 19 degree weather for a 4 mile run. Ever since trudging through the snow on that run, I have felt disgruntled and irked, and I don't know if it's because of how unsatisfying and frustrating my run was, or if it's something else.

I knew that the winter storm and plummeting temperatures would be tough to cope with after the mellow golden sunshine we had in early February, but it's still hard. Why is it still hard? Why is it that even when I am expecting a challenge, it is still hard? I was expecting it, I was braced for it, and it's still awful. I hate that even when I know what's coming, it can still throw me off so much! Normally, plans soothe me, but a winter storm forecast is not the kind of plan that soothes.

Maybe it's not even the weather that has me in a funk! Who knows? I just whined and crumbled into Jeff a little and he prescribed 30 minutes of Happy Light time for me. So I'm typing on my computer with my happy light aglow in my face. I hope it helps.

I think part of my sudden funk is straight up cabin fever. When the weather was nice (up until Wednesday--3 days ago), I was outside as much as possible, soaking in the sun. Suddenly it's wind chilling and snowing and drifting outside and I am COOPED. Add to that I still need more sleep for various reasons, plus the upcoming cross country season is weighing on me. We've been practicing and coaching cross country since October and now, right when I'm all worn out from the mental strain of having Somewhere To Be every afternoon, our season is going to start and require MORE time, effort, stress, and energy.

It's hard leaving my kids at home after school to go to practice in the cold. It's hard managing dinner and groceries and the house when it seems like nobody else living in our house even cares about cleanliness, tidying, cooking, dishes, etc. without my specific direct command. It's hard! I feel like a slave most of the time, but whenever I let myself take a break from being CEO of the White house (Jeff made dinner last night and tonight and I also spent a lot of time relaxing and reading over the past two days), I feel like a slug.

Also, Jeff and I haven't had any REAL alone time together in two years, since our last February date trip in 2019. We can't be home and alone together. There's always a kid breathing somewhere nearby. Jay always comes in to our bedroom to talk sometime between 8-9pm every night. I don't want him to stop because it is a good thing; I just feel worn out and pandemic lockdown'd out. Every other region in our state is moving to phase two AGAIN, and our region of four counties is the only one stuck in phase one AGAIN. It just seems so harsh. We've been following all of the guidelines for nearly a year now, and we've never had any CHANGE. How much longer till we can have a friend over or something? Obviously we don't have to follow the guidelines and we could just do whatever we want, but we have felt the need to do our part during this whole pandemic so we're sticking to those blasted guidelines.

I'm just blue and dull and blah. None of my many reasons for my mood are new; they are the same. I'm even bored and annoyed that my irritations are so unchanging. What's really lame is how it seems as though I've been stuck in this dull grumpy cooped up rut for a LONG time, when it's really only been tough for like two days. LAME.

[end journal entry]

Toldja I was a grump! But good news came soon after that dark day: our region discovered a mistake in the COVID data, and we were cleared to move to Phase 2!! That means indoor gatherings of up to five people, which we interpreted to mean that we would allow friends back inside our house. Basically, the neighbor friends Ian and Tanner are back! It feels so good to stop being a stick in the mud with the pandemic guidelines. We were all overjoyed to have Ian back! 

Our version of the winter storm ended up being icy whistling winds followed by snow. May I never have to be a coach outside during wintertime again. I went for a run in the snow on Saturday, February 13th. The winds caused the small-ish first snowfall to drift, which made for an exhausting but interesting 4 mile jog. On Sunday, Valentine's Day, I took advantage of the pandemic-provided Zoom link for church so I wouldn't have to drive in dreaded SNOW (plowing roads is not really done in our area). Jeff is the ward Zoom specialist (new assignment, haha) so he and Jay went to the church to set that up and stayed for the meeting while the girls and I stayed home. Jay also had his young men's class at church. He came home proudly bearing his first ever temple recommend! Hopefully our temple will be able to open again soon so he can use it!

Our gutter-free roofline produced some impressive icicles.

The first thing I saw when I got out of bed one morning was a sister staring contest, haha.

Amber and I tried getting a little exercise in the bitter 13 degree windchill before the snow started.

I sent Amber outside to burn off some energy, and she ran circles on the front porch to stay warm.

"Can I come in yet?"

My armor for a grocery run during the winter windstorm: wool socks, wool leggings, and flannel lined jeans, plus four layers on top. It worked! I stayed warm.

Amby, camped out in the basement with her art kit.

Rose grabbed my phone and took some impromptu pictures when Jeff scooped me up off the couch on Thursday night. It is so rare for someone else to take pictures! I cropped and black-and-whited the pictures because they were dark, yellowish, and crooked, but here we are: normal Jeff and Shaina on a weeknight.

I made the kids do a kids yoga video for some exercise on one of the wind chilly days.

Amber likes to sit really close to Rose and watch her big sister practice piano. 

Both girls like to sit really close and watch Jeff play computer games.

The canal with drifting snow. The wind was so strong that the canal water froze in ridges, so we couldn't go ice skating.

Trudge-fest snow drift run.

Drifting snow across the road: I ran along the bare stripe, but the snow drift was several inches deep, and I was glad I didn't drive anywhere till it all started melting.

Rose had a sleepover at her cousins' house on Friday, Feb 12th. Grandview got significantly more snow than Sunnyside, just ten miles away. 

Sleeping Queens forever and ever. Amber is always asking to play a game.

The girls dressed "extra fancy" for church on Valentine's Day, with layered dresses and skirts. Zoom church allowed me to allow them to wear what they wanted.

They had basketball shorts on underneath their many skirts.

Snuggled up for Zoom church!

When we logged onto our ward's Zoom link, we saw Jeff up front, setting up the webcam.

More snow came Sunday night.

The boy with his temple recommend!

Jeff made me four Valentine hearts with love notes written in French on each one, and delivered them to me one at a time throughout the weekend. I don't know if he fully understands how MUCH I love and crave letters and love notes. I do.

Rose and Amber followed their father's example and made Valentines for each other.

Jay cleaned his room and made his bed out of the blue without being asked! Maybe being stuck inside due to the cold made him see how badly it needed to be cleaned? 

IAN!! These boys are so cute and right in the middle of growing up. They are getting tall and Ian's voice is getting lower, but they still set up a massive battle royale of army men in the basement. Rose managed to join their game.