The 5,000

My favorite track race in college was the five thousand kilometers, also known as the five thousand for short, or the 5k, or sometimes just "the five." It's 12.5 laps of speed and endurance. The fastest I ever ran the five thousand was when in college when I was 19 years old, at the 2006 Jopson Invitational at Bridgewater College. My time was 20:12. I never managed to break that large looming 20 minute barrier, and I am at peace with that. Marriage, motherhood, and real life are full and happy and good. I never expected to want to run a lifetime personal record after college. But the more Jeff and I learn about training methods, the more we see what we did wrong in college. We were always sore and fatigued from imbalanced overly intense workouts. I slowly realized that I probably never reached my true potential in my young spry days of college running.  

With those thoughts slow-cooking on the back burner for a few years, when I started feeling strong from good running and steady yoga over the summer, my old sub-20 5k dream woke up and whispered, "why not try again?" I realized that 34 is not very old after all, in spite of how stiff my ankles can feel in the mornings. So I started following the training plan Jeff wrote for our high school cross country team. Even though I didn't do the workouts at the same time as the cross country team (since I needed to coach and time them and all of that), I still did the workouts on the same day as the team. Even that small connection to "group elective suffering" helped me feel the encouragement of a team and the workouts never became drudgery. 

And my workouts kept going well! I nailed every single pace, split, and distance! It was the smoothest training cycle ever! My fitness exploded and I was suddenly even more of a lean (voraciously hungry) running machine than before! It was FUN pushing myself and refreshing to have the time to do so, while all of my kids were in school all day everyday in the fall for the first time ever. I loved it! It took a while to pick a date for my big attempt at a sub-20 minute 5k, because we had seven consecutive Saturdays taken up by cross country meets. Naturally I chose the 8th Saturday--our first free Saturday in 8 weeks. 

In the weeks leading up to my big attempt, I did everything I have ever read about to boost my chances at a fast time. I took daily naps. I ate more carefully, doing my best to get enough quality calories each day (which involved at least five or six meals per day). I even gave up chocolate completely for the week before my 5k because it makes my sensitive stomach hurt. I created a race plan and did a visualization so detailed that I teared up at the end when I [mentally] reached my goal. I even created a music playlist with the most positive upbeat get-in-the-zone songs I could think of, testing it out on regular runs and then tweaking the songs and the order to craft the best pre-race playlist possible. Everything was ready. I did my final workout and then rested with only slow easy runs for two days before my race. 

The big day was Saturday, October 23rd at 9am. The forecast was patchy with rain and mid-40s, but it ended up being almost perfect running weather: mostly cloudy and 50 degrees while I ran. Jeff and I brought all three kids with us to the track. We ended up on the old track because Jeff brought the wrong key ring, which was fine because the old track was familiar.

After my 10 minute warmup, (wherein I ran the first mile in 7:47), my watch gave me a new VO2 max of 59, my highest ever. It was a welcome mental boost right before my big run.

Jay ran the first mile with me so he could try to break 7 minutes for the first time. He did it! His previous PR was 7:07, from back in May, but on October 23rd he ran a 6:55. Go Jay! 

My first mile was right on target, at 6:19 (my goal pace was 6:20 per mile). I hung on alright for the next two laps till the halfway point, and then I started to struggle. Jeff joined in to pace me at the beginning of lap 7 as we had planned, and he was so kind and encouraging. I was so tired! I struggled, yo-yo-ing on and off with my goal pace until I hit two miles, then I fell off the pace a little more and never found it again till the final 200, which felt impossibly hard. But during that final mile, I did serious battle! With my legs, with my lungs, and with my mind. I never gave in to the pain; I battled it.

My effort was so great, I peed my shorts a little during the last mile of the race. That along with the total deadness in my legs when I tried speeding up for the last lap tells me that I really did give everything I had, and I was happy with my effort. I hung on longer than I have managed to hang on in 15 years.

Jeff maintained my goal pace up ahead of me and I saw right where I was supposed to be, moving off into the distance, haha. Jay jumped in and ran a lap with me near the end, sweet boy. I finished, gasping for air and wobbly-legged, in 20:17. That's quite respectable for a solo time trial. Even with Jeff as a pacer, my run didn't have that same jittery energetic pull of a true race day, which is the only thing that could have helped me more. 

After I finally caught my breath and hugged my husband and took some pictures, Jeff jogged my cooldown with me and we went home. I was SO TIRED, I just sat in the garage in the parked car for like 20 minutes, looking at all of the Garmin data from my run and processing the event, before coming inside. For the rest of the day, I kept marveling at how HARD it was to run at that level. I talked with Jeff about my run more, and he said I still had 2-3 attempts at a sub-20 minute 5k left in my legs using the fitness from the training cycle I just completed, so I decided to go for it again a few days later. 

Attempt #2: Wednesday, October 27th, 2:30pm. 

This time I ran on the new track, which was so soft on my joints. But I ran all alone (Jeff had a meeting, though Jay did sit on the sidelines waiting for me to drive him home after school). I had to do battle with a steady 14 mph wind, which made locking into my pace hard, since I had to work way harder while facing the wind for half of each lap, and it wore me out. I managed the first mile in 6:20, right on pace, but when I hit 2 miles in 12:54 (2 seconds slower that Saturday), I lost heart a bit and almost stopped. Not wanting to give up, I rallied and let myself slow down and recover a bit for 100 meters, then sped up as best I could to finish the full 5k. It was a beast, but I'm glad I did the whole distance. My time was 20:46, 29 seconds slower than Saturday. 

At this point I felt DONE, but after recovering a bit and talking it over with Jeff some more, I decided to try one more time, with Jeff pacing me the entire way, on Saturday, October 30th. Unfortunately, Jeff came down with a fever on Friday night and then Saturday ended up being even windier than Wednesday. So I decided that was it. The window of fitness from my 2 month training cycle was closing, so I decided to be done with the 5k challenge for now. If and when the mood to train strikes again, I will jump on and ride it again!

As much as I WANT to finally break 20 minutes, I am also super happy with all I have managed to do. I see the value in the process, in the hard work and striving toward a physical goal. I got into excellent shape, and it made me feel alive in a way I haven't felt in a long time. In my first attempt at training in 15 years, I came within 18 seconds of my lifetime goal--I will take that success! I did my very best, and it felt amazing.

As John Wooden once said, "Success is peace of mind, knowing that you have done the best that you can." 

And in the words of Olympian Alexi Pappas, "Being committed isn't about the end result; it's about giving yourself the very best chance to get there."

This was such a fun, challenging, invigorating ride! 

My team.

A lot of pro runners have a tradition of taking a picture of their "racing kit" and race number the night before a big race. I followed their example for fun.

A screenshot of the first 8 songs on my warmup pump-up Brave playlist.

Mantras from my Brave playlist: each song came to me in a different way (from a book I read, a Piano Guys cover, an Instagram story of a friend, Amazon music's "My Soundtrack", an internet search for happy music, and my younger self). I spent weeks rearranging and selecting the most inspiring positive mantra-music to get my legs ready to run fast and my mind ready to be tough. Now when I listen to these songs, my mind and body shift to The Zone and I am ready to go!

• "Show me how big your brave is!" --Sara Bareilles
• "I've still got a lot of fight left in me." --Rachel Platten
• "My power is turned on, starting right now I'll be strong" --Rachel Platten
• "This girl is on fire!" --Alicia Keys
• "Looks like a girl but she's a flame." --Alicia Keys
• "May you always lead from the beating in your chest" --Jason Mraz
• "If you believe it then anything can happen" --Jason Mraz
• "Baby, you're a firework!" --Katy Perry
• "And I will work this body, I will burn this flame" --Walk the Moon
• "I know it's hard to remember sometimes, but you gotta keep your head up!" --Andy Grammar
• "She looks good and it's true: she is beautiful, she is beautiful." --Andrew W.K.

I tend to feel most motivated by songs telling me I am beautiful, songs about working, and women singing about their power and fire.

The start! Jeff told me when to go, to simulate a race. I gave Rose and Amber my phone to take a few pictures during my big run. They sat waaay out in the bleachers, and took a few tiny speck pictures that I cropped and fixed up as best I could afterwards.

Jay, cruising in for his 6:55 mile.

Jeff, pacing me during my suffer-fest.

This is what most of the pictures Amber took looked like. Vertical, with tiny runners.

The finish! This was the fastest 5k I've ever run while wearing a Garmin GPS watch, so my watch gave me this prize.

My family. Last time I ran this fast, I wasn't even married!

Jay's PR picture. A 6:55 mile at age 12! At least one of us got a PR that day! Haha.

My power pose post-race picture. My legs were so dead tired!

My Strava-generated run report.

A rainbow painted the sky a few days later.

Before my second 5K attempt, I dug out my vintage SVU singlet to wear for nostalgia. 

Napping was hard when I was keyed up and antsy about my next run! I took this staged picture to remind myself that I did try to take short naps, and sometimes they actually worked!

Wearing my vintage uniform on the new track!

Post-run picture. 20:46 in the wind with no running buddies was respectable.

Two days later, I was out doing an easy jog in preparation for my 3rd 5k attempt, when I crossed paths with my dentist, Doug, who also lives around the corner from us and is in our ward and the cousin of our next door neighbor. He runs and bikes a lot, so we ran a few miles together. 

Scenery from my favorite road for workouts: Arrowsmith Road near our house is the perfect combo of rolling hills so workouts are challenging but not all uphill or all downhill for any interval.

The canal is slowly being drained for winter. I ran in the strong cold wind on Saturday and it was intense! I was very glad I cancelled my 3rd 5k attempt.

Finisher's pictures.

Running to my edge makes me feel deliciously ALIVE.