Momstalgia is a word found only in the New Shaina Dictionary, a few entries north of Wedventure. Momstalgia [mom-stal-ja] refers to the feeling moms get when an event, location, or activity triggers a memory from her kids' past and she realizes how big and old they are, how fast they are growing, and how little time she has left with them at home. Momstalgia hit me unexpectedly when I took Rose and Amber on a "temple walk" on Saturday afternoon after our trip to Costco and before we attended the cousins' BMX race. We weren't there for more than 15 or 20 minutes, but as I walked around the outside of the temple with my daughters, the wave of Momstalgia washed over me.
I used to take my babies on temple walks almost every time we drove the 45 minutes to Costco, since the Columbia River Temple is just down the street from the Kennewick Costco. The small temple has a sidewalk running around the exterior, and the grounds are all fenced in. That made it a perfect place to stop and let young kids stretch their legs after being crammed into a shopping cart.
Sweet toddler Jay used to trot around the temple in anticipation of the fountain on the far side. It was his favorite and he would climb the steps around the fountain over and over, looking at the rushing water. When he got older, he dutifully held his sisters' hands so they'd stay still for their sentimental mother to take a picture of her kids at the temple.
When squishy baby Rose was learning to walk, she toddled across the grass by the temple and when she turned back, she thought the barely-there slope was too steep to risk walking down. So she carefully knelt down and crawled backwards down the nearly-flat slant of grass in the same way she went down the stairs at home. Except the slope wasn't as steep as the stairs at home, so gravity didn't pull her down at all and she kind of just stayed there on all fours, waiting for gravity to help. When nothing happened, she slowly inched her way backwards down the imaginary hill back to the sidewalk. It was adorable and hilarious!
When Rose was older and in school all day, she said she missed going shopping in the tri cities with me, so I saved some errands for a Saturday a few times and brought her along for some mother daughter grocery and temple time.
Rambunctious toddler Amber used to sprint around the temple, walking on the stone flowerbed borders and attempting to climb the exterior fence, dodging my grasp every time I got too close. When we came to the fountain, she would lean waaaay out over it and nearly take a nose dive into the water almost every time. Getting a picture of Amber at the temple was not easy, but I usually managed to capture her in the end.
When we arrived at the temple this past Saturday, Amber jumped out of the car and started running for the temple. The momstalgia hit when I called Amber back and 1. she came, and 2. she followed my instructions to be reverent and not run around the temple climbing and shouting. A few minutes later when my two girls were walking quietly around the temple grounds with me, I was transported back to a few years ago, when the intensity of keeping up with a wild sprinting Amber without being irreverent and wild myself was a tricky balance to find. In that moment, it hit me how grown up my babies are getting, and I spent the rest of our short calm walk marveling at it.
Of course Amber is still zesty, so instead of running like a hooligan, she started collecting the prettiest red leaves she could find. By the end of our walk, she had a handful of lovely fallen leaves that she cherished and brought in the car all the way home. Amber did also try to strike silly poses when I took a few pictures of her by the temple, so she's still herself. Just older. Sniff.
Rose is only a year and 2 months from being able to go inside the temple to do baptisms for the dead, and she seemed so grown up on this temple walk. When someone opened the temple door, both girls craned their necks to peek in. Along the back of the temple, I showed Rose the phases of the moon in the stained glass, and pointed out the chandelier sparkling through the colorful window. I am so thankful for the temple and I love sharing it with my kids!
While I was writing this post, I spent too long digging through our family photo archive looking at pictures of past temple walks. It was sweet to embrace the momstalgia and remember.
1 comment:
This is just the SWEETEST!
You are such a good mom.
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