Monday, January 24th: Tired. Last night I felt normal but tonight I feel extra fatigued, with a headache. And my cough is still going strong. Ugh. I tried to be moderate in my activity level today. I did less than 20 minutes of arm-targeted yoga and walked 2 miles at a nice easy stroll. My bum leg only ached very faintly after the walk, but my walk definitely made it ache more than it did before the walk. Blah to that. Rose went back to school today, but everyone else stayed home, including Jeff.
We had leftover soup for dinner tonight. We listened to the first 15 verses of Moses 7, read by the app, and talked a little about them--they were doozies, so we didn't have a very enlightening discussion but we did our best. Then we had family game night where we played an Amber adapted version of Sleeping Queens which took about five minutes. Since that was so short, we played a game of Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza, where in Jeff and I took all of the card forfeits so Amber (whose reflexes are slower because she's younger) wouldn't be sad.
Tuesday, January 25th: Family art club night! The theme was National Parks, and my painting was hilarious. Even though it didn't turn out looking great, I did get to practice mixing watercolors for the first time, so that was new. I painted a section of the wall in the Black Canyon of the Gunnison, and it ended up looking more like an ant farm than the beautiful rock formation that it was supposed to be. Everyone was so nice about it during our art club Zoom meeting. Family art club is the way to go. Everyone can always find something nice to say about each other's artwork!
Today was another homey day. I rested from yoga and walking (and running, of course). My cough has gotten worse and last night I started getting a headache with it. That headache lasted all day today, annoyingly, but it's not too terrible unless I bend over, move quickly, or cough hard. I am slowly reconciling myself to a prolonged recovery from both my sickness and my injured leg. I've already lost so much of the fitness I had last summer and fall, it's not like I need to worry about "getting out of shape." I just need to reframe and look at it as taking care of my body and giving my body the rest it needs. Sigh.
We had leftover soup with fresh bread for dinner tonight. I love how easy it is to make leftover soup exciting when there's fresh bread to go with it. We even remembered to have family scripture time during dinner again! We switched to dinnertime scriptures while people have been home sick, so the sickies can sleep in in the morning.
Wednesday, January 26th: Tired. I woke up with a throbbing sinus headache today. What is up with my body this month? I have felt rotten for weeks! Ugh. Thankfully Sudafed and Tylenol got me through the day, but the throb was always waiting if I leaned over or moved too quickly. I guess it has been a whole 2 years since I got sick, so maybe I'm getting everything I missed? It's still no fun. At least my cough wasn't as horrible today.
All three kids were back in school today. Jeff stayed home from work to recover more, and we were quite the boring pair, haha. This afternoon I lost track of time and was late picking up Jay from school. My brain was just sluggish today.
Jay and I stopped by the library on our way home from school today, and I checked out a pile of books for Amber. She dove right into them the minute she got home from school. She's reading alright, but she still doesn't automatically try to sound out unfamiliar words. She either skips them, guesses using context clues, or just gives up. I'm treading the delicate balance between encouraging her to try and letting her enjoy books on her own terms.
Thursday, January 27th: Tired. Sinus headache. My cough seems to be suddenly subsiding, so there's that. I am ready to be well again. Today I decided on an ultimatum: if my sinus headache isn't gone by Monday, I'll go to the doctor for antibiotics. Every other time I've had this type of prolonged deep sinus headache, it's turned out to be a sinus infection. Ugh. This is definitely exercising my capacity for endurance in a different way than I'm used to.
Today Jeff went back to work, but felt exhausted and achy and came home after second period, poor guy. The kids seem to be bouncing back just fine at least. Even though I wanted to do yoga today, I did zero exercise, courtesy of my throbbing sinuses. Instead I bumbled around the kitchen making a mess while throwing together some muffins that turned out rock hard like baseballs and a big pot of watery chowder that boiled over like a geyser. It was not my day in the kitchen at all. I swear doing anything with a headache is just doomed.
Amber spent nearly an hour trying to eat a few bites of soup broth tonight so she could have a piece of candy for dessert. It was hilarious because I only gave her about five bites worth of broth with a few tiny carrot bits, but she made it last forever with her reluctance. I still think her piece of dessert candy outweighed the health of her dinner. Oh well. She did eat the heavy baseball muffins I made.
Right after the girls got home from school today, Rose started telling me something about a science project. At the same time, Amber was showing me all of the papers from her backpack. I kept looking back and forth between them trying to follow both of their words. They both kept talking, either unaware of each other or assuming that since I have two ears I can follow two conversations at once. It was overwhelming!
After 8pm tonight, Jay came into my room for his nightly bedtime chat. He sat down next to me and stayed quiet. He does this often, sitting silently with me at night. Some nights he talks, but other nights, he just comes and sits with me. So I put down my book and did my best to wait and allow him his silent companionship. Eventually he told me a few plot points from a fantasy book he read recently. I asked him a question or two and he answered briefly. After another prolonged pause, I said goodnight to him, and he left.
Whew, it took a lot of thought to dredge up memories of my kids from today. These are the kinds of things I like to read later, but it's so hard to write them down in the moment when I'm so tired and especially when my head is throbbing.
Friday, January 28th: My sinus headache wasn't splitting my skull in half today! It was mild enough for me to do a core workout. My core and arms are both tired. It felt so good to dig in and do something physically challenging! It feels like forever since I had a good workout. Thanks to injury and sickness, I've only run once this whole month!
Jeff breathed loudly/snored again last night, and I woke up at 4am and never got back to sleep. He isn't always noisy enough to disrupt my sleep every night, but this week has been a doozy for that. I got up at 5am and had breakfast, read my scriptures, and then spent a solid two hours on the couch, typing on my laptop in the quiet sleeping house. It was so nice to have that time to myself, even if I was exhausted.
There was no school today, and Jeff stayed home from his teacher development meetings because he's still feeling super fatigued from his illness. He's a week behind me in his recovery, poor guy. We watched the new boring Star Wars show Boba Fett for family movie night tonight. I dozed off a little in the middle.
Sunday, January 30th: I went to church for the first time in two weeks today! It was good to be back, even if my dry cough made a few unwelcome appearances. Downside to a pandemic: having a cough is a total faux pas! Ugh. My sinuses felt much better today, so hopefully that means I don't have a sinus infection after all. Relief! I did not want to get put on antibiotics--they wreak their own kinds of havoc on my body.
Church was so uplifting today, with talks about loving one another. Sunday school was all about the priesthood and how we can all access its power. I felt good the whole time I was listening, but a few comments also made me feel kind of discouraged. It is always hard for me to sit in a room full of adults while a teacher is up front asking questions and trying to generate discussion, because I struggle to contribute. Speaking up in a large group is paralyzing for me, and that makes it hard to think of anything to say, so I usually don't say anything. Usually I just sit there and make the most of it, but today I was extra tired and when I'm tired I get discouraged easily.
I sat there in awe of all the coherent comments that were made, and since my overtired mind's defenses were low, I felt discouraged and left behind, like maybe I don't really know that much about the gospel even after a lifetime of doing my best to study and live it.
At church today, every time someone mentioned how much they love the Come Follow Me scripture study program, I felt oddly left out. This year's topic for CFM is The Old Testament, which is a beast. I feel like I'm failing to get anything out of it, just like I pretty much failed to get much out of the Doctrine and Covenants last year. I also worry that I'm not trying hard enough to get anything out of the Old Testament, especially since for my personal scripture study I stick with the Book of Mormon because it's so much easier to understand. So the only time I even look at the Come Follow Me book is during family scripture time each day (or as many days as we manage it--this week we managed three days, which under the circumstances I suppose was good). I just have this nagging feeling that there's more that I can do, but I'm too tired to figure out what. Sigh.
During church, in the moment those sad discouraged thoughts slipped in, I recognized that their source was not from God. I know I'm trying to do what's right, and I know that God doesn't want me to be discouraged and that he recognizes all efforts and the circumstances around those efforts, but sheesh, church was a lot from all sides today. I was so glad to be there hearing all of the wonderful messages. I kept sort of zooming out and marveling that I could be feeling so much love and GOODNESS in the room around me, with the spirit touching my heart with truth over and over, while at the same time I was being attacked by those stupid negative discouraging thoughts.
I guess I discovered yet another price of mortality today: physical malady and fatigue affecting my spiritual intake. It was a weird blend of positive and negative. I am doing my best to acknowledge the negative and embrace the positive, because opposition is the path to joy.
Even if it's coming slowly, recovery IS happening.
Rose keeps wearing these very trendy teenager-ish jeans that my sister Mel handed down to her, and I had to hold my baby girl on my lap to see if she still fit. It was a tight squeeze, but sweet Rose is always up for a big hug.
I made the mistake of trying to go on a walk in the frigid windchill with a raging sinus headache one day. Anguish.
Amber dealt and labeled all of the cards in preparation for a game of Sleeping Queens.
Heaven forbid that the child who noticed this dust actually did something about it. For the record, I have not dusted this shelf, as a way to assert my feminism. If someone else cares enough, THEY can dust it. I am constantly telling my family that we are ALL equally responsible for the upkeep of our house. It's an uphill struggle.
Before I attempted my national parks art, I painted some more sunshines to cheer myself up. It worked. Yellow is an essential color during January.
After all of that sunshine art, I started seeing sunshines in unlikely places, like with my snack of hummus and carrots.
My hilarious ant farm canyon wall rock formation.
To help with my art, I put a paper frame around a portion of a picture I took last summer at the Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. It only helped a little, haha.
I was craving something sweet, and I'm on a quest to find chocolate free desserts that are actually good. This internet recipe for brown sugar cookies (basically snickerdoodles) was mediocre.
When I was up at 5am on Friday, I used my small book light instead of house lights, and the darkness felt like a blanket around me.
Amber was going stir crazy on Friday, so I sent her outside to play. She scooped together the remains of our three snowmen and made a Picasso-style snowman.
Amber, all ready for church. I'm usually far more strict about church clothes...but I can't blame the girl for wanting to be warm in a dress!
Amber, playing while Rose reads.
Jay, reading on his dragon-hoard of a bed. Full disclosure: I had zero pictures of Jay this week, so with his permission I quickly snapped one of him reading right before writing this post.
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