Fall fun

Fall is my favorite time of year. It has taken a while to cool all the way off to acceptable fall temperatures this year, but this week it finally happened. I love long golden fall afternoons--the sun really is more golden right now than it is the rest of the year. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe there's an astronomy-based explanation, or maybe it's just a GIFT after a long blazing summer. Whatever the reason, I'll take that golden autumn sunshine and enjoy it. Fall in the Yakima Valley is nothing compared to fall in the Shenandoah Valley, but I can still find comfort and joy in my leafy garland, bright orange pumpkins, hearty chili, fresh bread, and all things pumpkin and apple. 

The kids tried out their Halloween costumes multiple times this week. Jay is an army guy, Rose is a beautiful butterfly, and Amber is a strawberry. 

Strawberries make me drool too. I couldn't believe she stopped trying to rip that hood off long enough for me to take a few pictures.

 The stuffed bum of this fleece strawberry suit cracks me up! She's like a little Oompa Loompa.

Amber's sad little baby lip protruding underneath the happy berry face hood is too much.

There's something about kids in the fall. A few years ago I hung these photo series of little Jay and baby Rose in the fall, and I have been rather excited to take pictures of Amber in the fall colors to add to this collection. [someday I'll even get frames for them]

We went to the pumpkin patch at Bill's Berry Farm yesterday after school, and I relished the bright sunlit pumpkins and the general fall ambiance of the pumpkin patch. I put my little camera to good use, and my family was very patient. I just love pumpkin pictures! So I took a lot. The pictures turned out as good as could be expected from a regular mom with a regular pocket camera on the auto setting. I love them all. 

The sun came out and made the kids squint, but it also lit up the pumpkins.

The sweetest pumpkin in the whole patch wasn't even orange.

Is she really going to be ONE year old in 2.5 weeks?

That golden autumn sunshine just melted all over the orange pumpkins.

It was exceedingly difficult to get a smile out of Amber. She was too busy exploring all the new textures and keeping the sun out of her eyes to care much about the silly voices or games of peek-a-boo to we employed to get her to smile.

Rose was willing to smile. Can you believe all those pumpkins? It wasn't a real pumpkin patch--they placed pre-picked pumpkins in a big field. There were so many pumpkins though, it must've taken them forever to scatter them all around! 

Pumpkin-climbing didn't end well.

I couldn't get enough of the sunny pumpkins. The were practically glowing.

We took one family pumpkin picture, with the camera propped up on the baby basket. 4/5 of us are actually looking and smiling! Maybe we should stop while we're ahead and call this our yearly family photo. 

After the pumpkin photo-thon, we took the hay ride over to get some fresh warm pumpkin donuts. Amber liked them just as much as the rest of us. 

Happy October.

Obstacles

I'm exhausted! I really went all out today--vacuuming, running, cooking, and laundry-washing. It was a lot! It seemed like everywhere I turned there was an obstacle in my way. I conquered them as best I could!

While Jay was getting ready for school this morning I told Rose to get dressed too. She had a minor meltdown because she did not want to get dressed. I dragged her into her room and told her to calm down in there and then get dressed. A few minutes later, I checked on her. She was sitting buck naked on the floor, staring into space. I said "we're leaving in three minutes! Get dressed!" Rose then proceeded to freak out because "I can't get dressed that fast!!!" [sob wail gnash] First she's mad because she doesn't want to get dressed, and then she's mad because she wants to get dressed, all in the space of ten minutes. Talk about emotional whiplash! And motherly patience streeeetched thin. Jay was on time to school, miraculously. We drove instead of walking, but he was on time.

I started vacuuming in the bedrooms after quickly tidying up the family room. When I came out of the last bedroom, I was greeted with a family room FORTRESS of all the kitchen chairs and stools, draped in blankets, courtesy of certain children of mine.

Vacuuming with a baby under foot is extremely difficult: push, pull, pause--move baby, push, pull, pause--move baby, push, pull, pause--move toys that baby just dumped out, push, pull, move baby...etc. etc. It took me an hour and a half to vacuum the whole house--twice the normal time! (although I vacuum so infrequently now that "normal" might not be the best word in reference to that cleaning method...)

I was feeling rather tired after all that heavy lifting and vacuum-wielding, but I put Amber down for a nap and then did my core exercises. Then I turned on a Dora episode for Rose and went out back to run laps around the soccer field. Except when I looked out there, the sprinklers were on. "Sprinkler" is a very weak word for the jet stream irrigation systems around here. They shoot water out fifty feet in a swath of frigid non-potable water, rotating slowly back and forth. Luckily only one end of the soccer field was being power-washed, so I managed to improvise a route around the "sprinklers" and only got doused three or four times. I ran four miles around the field, all while Amber napped in her crib and Rose watched a show. It's wonderful having a soccer field right behind our back fence, and the weather was gorgeous: sunny and 60 degrees. I must've had a significant amount of pent-up vacuuming rage though, because I really pounded those four miles--as in low 8's! One of my miles was even UNDER eight minutes. That is unheard of for the current casual run-for-fun Shaina. I was surprised because I didn't feel like I was pushing it that hard, and I almost always run waaay slower on grass and uneven surfaces. But I let it loose today! It was therapeutic and rage-diffusing. I felt at one with the world when I finished 33 minutes later.

The sprinklers on the soccer field

In the shower I had to resist the urge to stay in the deliciously hot water for an hour. Lunch was relatively normal--the only obstacle being Amber's banana slime--and then Amber went down for her second nap.

This afternoon I was feeling that hard run, but I really needed to make bread and dinner before I entered the 4pm survival mode stage of the day and my motivation suffered the resulting plunge. I managed to convince myself that the impending doom--I mean cooking--would only take half an hour. So I forged ahead and coated the kitchen in flour while mixing up four loaves of bread, two hample (ham apple) dinner pies, and an apple nut cake. There was a good amount of peeling, cutting, grating, and mixing involved in all of these recipes and Rose was a very enthusiastic helper, so it took three times as long as I thought it would. An hour and a half later Amber was waking up from her afternoon nap and I still hadn't had any sit-down quiet relaxing time. I managed to squeeze some foot-up reading time in while rotating cake, pie, and bread through the oven. Jeff came home just before 4pm and after greeting him and being sociable, I informed him that I was going to close the door in our room and read for half an hour. With a handful of chocolate chips. He manfully handled homework, the demanding middle child, and the cranky baby while I decompressed and rested before the final push of the day--dinnertime.

You can't really tell in this blurry picture, but we got flour EVERYWHERE.

The way I'm writing makes it sound like every day is an ordeal. That's not the case. Days where I try to fit too many "to-do's" in are tiring though! I was pleased with my poise and patience under pressure for...85% of today.

Dinner tonight was a success, for those of us over the age of 6 and under the age of 1...Jay and Rose did not like the hample pie, but Jeff, Amber, and I tucked in and finished the whole pie, even without Jay's and Rose's help. Savory ham apple cheddar cinnamon in a flaky crust hit the spot. It was a hearty, seasonal, delicious dinner that made me feel all cozy. Bonus: I made an extra pie to have tomorrow night for dinner! Hurrah for apple season! The apple cake I made was predictably not so good--we all know how the only baking I usually succeed at either comes from a box or is not sweet (aka, I excel at bread and rolls, not cakes!)

Speaking of apples, I am done with the yearly apple butter-brewing: twelve quarts, taking up all the freezer space (I couldn't bring myself to go through the ordeal of sealing jars, so hello freezer). I filled the last three jars last night. We still have about 40-50 apples left, though, so I may have to do some applesauce even though I'm feeling slightly burned out on the apple-processing front.

Today was good and full and tiring. Time for an episode of Netflix with Jeff and then some reading before bed. Goodnight!

Wenatchee

We are wearing the roads in this state OUT with all our weekend travels this fall. Actually we are wearing ourselves out! Jeff left on Thursday morning for a Washington Association of Foreign Language Teachers conference in Wenatchee, WA (fondly known as WAFLT--we say it like waffle, but with a "t" on the end: wafflt). Jeff was asked to give a presentation at the conference. It was a big deal for him, especially after a mere 5 years of teaching experience. The school district paid for a hotel room for 2 nights. And the hotel had a pool! Jay conveniently didn't have school on Friday so we drove the 2.5 hours up to Wenatchee to take advantage of the free hotel room, the pool, and the beautiful parks along the Columbia River for 24 hours.

It was a quick and tiring trip, but worthwhile to see a new place. Jeff was at the conference pretty much the whole time we were there except for Friday night, when we went out to eat as a family to Red Robin for hamburgers. Then we all crashed in the hotel room--Amber was especially exhausted after a day with barely half an hour total of naps. She slept soundly under the desk in the hotel room. Saturday morning I got up before the sun to go on a refreshing riverfront run on the Apple Capital loop pathway. It's a 10 mile paved path right next to the Columbia River--half of it is on one side of the river and half of it is on the other. The foot bridges were awesome! I only managed to run 5 miles of it, but 5 miles during an autumn sunrise along a peaceful reflective river was plenty to get my inner zen humming...until the ravenous pre-breakfast starvation set in! I always eat toast before I run in the morning, but we did not have any toast in the hotel room so I was running on empty. Ouch.

The rest of the time in Wenatchee it was me and the kids, hanging out together in a new place. We checked out a nice park--Walla Walla Point park along the Columbia River. It had unique playground equipment and the kids played there for over an hour. We swam in the hotel pool and spa twice. Amber loved it! We walked across a long arching footbridge to the Apple Capital loop trail and found a jackpot of acorns. Jay and Rose could barely believe all the acorns! We don't have many oak trees in Grandview. We don't have many trees in general, especially the classic oak and maple. On Friday Jay filled his pockets with acorns and we went back on Saturday before we left so he could pick up some more.

On Saturday morning after our swim, we spent well over an hour at Wenatchee's Goodwill, picking out the kids' Halloween costumes. They had a lot of fun browsing and I loved that it was all affordable, if a tad musty. Why oh why did I not know about the thrift store costumes earlier in my kids' childhoods? I can't believe I just discovered it last year! I thought people just bought random ugly thrift store clothes for costumes, not actual cool used costumes! I used to go for the completely homemade/home-scrounged Halloween costume, but now I'm a complete Goodwill costume convert. Easy, low-stress, and low-cost. And awesome costumes! The kids love them. Perfect!

Meanwhile, back at the WAFLT, Jeff ROCKED his presentation! At a previous conference, he got to know some of the language teachers and folks in WAFLT, and in preparation for this conference they asked him to do one of the presentations! He spoke for almost an hour to 80-ish people--nearly half of all the people at the whole conference came to his presentation! And they said they really liked his presentation and got some really good ideas from him. Woot! Jeff is really an amazing teacher. He was very relieved when that presentation was over, though! It was a new experience for me to see Jeff nervous about something, especially about speaking in front of people. Normally being nervous about speaking up front is my territory! But he did a great job, especially for a 5th year teacher presenting in front of many teachers who have 2-4 times as many years of experience as he does.

 On the drive, we stopped for a bathroom break at the city of George. George, WA.
I was enchanted.

We really liked Walla Walla Point park in Wenatchee. It had sweeping views of brown hills and the Columbia River.

 

About a quarter mile from the hotel was this long sweeping footbridge that arched across the roads and railroad tracks to the Apple Capital Loop pathway and acorns galore. [Wenatchee is known as the apple capital of the world--this area grows and ships the most apples] Also: hotel elevator rides!

The elevator had a window that looked out onto a dirty roof and AC unit. Fascinating.

The star of the trip was the hotel pool! Actually, the hot tub/spa really won out since it is October. But swimming inside is always fun. 

I let all the kids into the hot tub in 10 minute intervals--then they had to go cool off before getting back in the warm water.  

Amber loved swimming so much she thought she should be able to do it on her own. She was a slippery little fish and I could only take so many kicks to the stomach, so eventually she got out watched us from the stroller. 

It took three of those scratchy tiny hotel pool towels to cover Amber's little body! Also: sprinting down a long tunnel-like hotel hallway is still fun...Amber had some wild stroller rides this weekend.

I'm sure they're getting too old for this, but...they all jumped in the tub at once!

The view from our hotel room in the morning was lovely--Wenatchee is surrounded by these big ripply rugged brown hills and the sun lit them up when it was coming up and going down.

Amber slept great in her makeshift crib underneath the desk.

Sibling love and Sesame Street.

Someone took this fuzzy picture of Jeff during his presentation and I stole it off of Facebook. He said he was sweating buckets up there.

Acorn-gathering.

We left Wenatchee around 2pm on Saturday and drove back a much more scenic route than on the way there. The trees were starting to change and there were bright yellow patches all through the pine trees in the valley. Gorgeous! As we entered our valley, we were greeted by quite the dusty windstorm. Welcome home to us.

Hard, but worth it

Today I found myself flying solo at church with Jay and Amber. Jeff and Rose stayed home feeling under the weather. I braced myself for the trial of church alone with a baby, and I must confess to some negative feelings along the way.

Mobile babies are HARD at church! All through sacrament meeting today I kept thinking "what's the point?" over and over while I wrestled with Amber. She is determined, strong, and mobile. It was hard work keeping her in the pew and quiet! Thank goodness for the binky or else we never would have made it past the sacrament! But we managed to stay in the chapel the whole time (with great effort on my part, I might add).

It was fast Sunday today and half way through the testimony meeting, Jay asked me "how come I never get a turn up there?" I told him he was allowed to go up and bear his testimony if he wanted to. I could almost see him thinking "ALL THE WASTED YEARS!" haha, microphone-savvy though Jay may be, he had never gotten up in testimony meeting before. I asked him if he knew what he wanted to say. He thought about it a little and then said yes. I started feeling a little nervous about this--Jay really likes the sound of his voice in the microphone and that's what worried me. I felt the need to teach him a little more before he went up, so I asked him if he knew what to say at the end, and reminded him about finishing with "in the name of Jesus Christ amen." He looked quite determined to get up to that microphone, so I quickly added one last tidbit of motherly advice--I told him to make sure he didn't talk too long up there because other people wanted a turn too (I was worried he'd start rambling and say who knows what!) Then that brave little boy walked right up to the podium, took a few noisy breaths in the microphone, and said these sweet things:

"I can follow Heavenly Father by saying prayers and going to the temple when I'm older to get married and stuff. In the name of Jesus Christ amen."

Then he walked back down and sat next to me with a pleased little smile. I hugged him and told him he did a good job. He hugged me back and held my hand [until Amber demanded it again].

Jay!!! His sweet testimony broke through all of my church-baby-irritated-exhaustion and touched my heart. Instead of thinking "what's the point?" after that, I kept thinking "that is why" and "this is worth it" over and over again, while Amber yanked my shirt sideways and squirmed/drooled all over me. Wrangling Amber did not get any easier after I had those good feelings, but my ability to bear it improved greatly. My heart was softened. I thought maybe it was a good time for me to go up front and say something, but I wasn't sure if Amber would be ok with me passing her off to a non-Daddy-person, and the act of handing the baby over to someone was too much of a commitment and I really didn't want to cry up in front of everyone soooo I froze. I just couldn't get myself to go up there, even with Amber. Of course now in my safe quiet house I feel a little bad about not going up when I was so clearly prompted to, but ahhh!

What I would have said if I had conquered my podium paralysis is simple: bringing a baby/kids to church is hard, but worth it. As a parent I'm so thankful that I have the gospel and the Holy Ghost to guide me and help me as I raise my kids. I know that God hears and answers all prayers. He loves each of us. We are here on earth for an experience that we cannot have anywhere else. The challenges we are given as well as the joys we feel here teach us in the most effective, excellent way--God's way. I know that Jesus Christ lives, his gospel is true, and we have a living prophet who is called of God. I hope my kids always know two things about their mom: 1. I love them no matter what and 2. I know that the gospel is true.

It is way easier to write those things than to SAY them, especially if I have to think them up and speak coherently through emotion, while standing in front of 150 people. Maybe someday I'll master my quaky knees and shaky voice, but today was not that day! Maybe next time I'll manage to follow sweet Jay's example.

On the way home from church I asked Jay some questions, and I totally felt like my father while I did it because he used to ask us pointed questions like this too when I was little:

1. What made you want to go up and bear your testimony? --I just really wanted to go up and talk.
2. How did you feel when you were up there? --When I looked at all those people, I felt a little scared.

Bottom line: kids at church = hard, but worth it.

Life ramble

LIFE is so full! I know so many people who are way busier than me. But right now, my life feels nice and full and busy. I have projects I'm working on, a baby to squeeze, a 4 year old to wrangle, and a first grader's questions to field. I have a big house to try keeping in order. I have a snug little budget to fit into. I have an enormous list of books I want to read. I have about 80 pounds of apples to turn into apple butter and apple sauce and everything else appley. I have a hungry husband to cook for. Halloween is coming. Amber's first birthday is right after.

I had a dentist appointment yesterday. Just a routine cleaning, but I hate going to the dentist so much! The sound of that sharp metal tool scraping my teeth is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Every muscle in my body was tense the whole time I was in the chair. I have a receding gum on one of my molars and every time I go, they poke it and it about sends me through the roof in a massive jolt of pain. I was braced for that eventuality but thankfully they listened to me this time and didn't touch it with the sharp tool. Just the polisher, which still hurt! They had me make an appointment to get that tender receding area filled in to help with pain and sensitivity. I went in and had that done this morning. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack when the dentist turned on the electric metal pointy tool and started scraping my tooth to give it texture so the filling would stick. IEEEE! It was scary. I was numbed, but IEEE! I about lost it. I clenched my stomach and hands and legs and ankles and everything in between and just prayed that the numbing would hold up and they wouldn't jab me somewhere painful. It was a traumatic experience and I'm still not sure if it was worthwhile. I have never had a cavity before, and now I hope I never get one! This little sensitive tooth fill-in was sheer terror! And I had to be all cool and collected and adult, even though my insides were writhing and I had a couple gallons of adrenaline pulsing through my veins. I should've brought my running shoes and timed a mile after that! I totally would've had a new record. I told Jeff I'd rather get a pelvic exam than have my teeth cleaned. SHUDDER.

This is my favorite time of year, with all my favorite things to do, and yet I have been feeling so stressed and pressed for time lately! Agh! Maybe it's my recent dental torture talking. It feels like Jay's school hours frame my day, and the only chance I have of really getting the boring things (like chores and errands) done is while he's at school. I feel like I'm too often peeved at a reluctant 4 year old or an absent minded 6 year old who did not get dressed when I told them to and we're always rush rush rushing! I don't like rushing! It sucks the joy right out of everything, especially when we're trying to walk to school on a beautiful fall morning only to have left 10 minutes late so we have to run and power walk to get there in time. No time to enjoy the golden sunshine and breathe the fresh air and talk about little nothings.

I am constantly surveying my life and ridding myself of unnecessary stresses. But I'm learning that as my kids get older, there are some stresses that can't be removed. Sometimes I find myself thinking back wistfully to the days when I had full control over everything: I got my kids dressed efficiently, made their breakfast with minimal mess, folded their laundry, cleaned up their messes, chose what we did that day and when, etc. etc. But now that they're getting older, I'm trying to, you know, teach them responsibility and have them clean up their own messes, fold their own clothes, choose what to wear, and [sometimes] even get their own food. It's hard to relinquish some of my control, especially when it often creates more messes and work and stress for me to handle.

Speaking of stress that I can't predict or control, Rose is an amazing little walking contradiction. Rose Meri, quite contrary I'd say! Sometimes spending a day with her is easy-breezy and she's all sweet and plays happily and cutely. Other days it's like I exist for her to upbraid and oppose. Usually both Roses rear their wispy blonde heads multiple times in one day. Here's a scene from this afternoon: Rose and I went down to the basement to build a castle. Rose asked me to build a castle that she could go inside. So I got to work. After I had placed the first few bricks in a row, Rose said "that's not how it goes, Mommy, you're doing it wrong. Let me show you how to do it." So I kept building while she started building on the other side of the castle. But she told me to stop so she could build it the right way. I backed off and stopped building. A minute later she got frustrated and started crying that she couldn't get it right and asked in an accusatory tone why I wasn't helping her. I confess to being really annoyed! I mean, use me up and wring me out, child! I know it's not a big deal, just a cardboard brick castle, but I wasn't trying to make her life hard! I was just trying to be a nice mom and play with my daughter and she was bossing me back and forth! Gar. Eventually we finished the castle, but it was emotionally draining for both of us.

Where am I going with this? I don't really know. I'm just sharing my rambly thoughts right now. I read an article called "Day in the Life of Kara Goucher" last week, and it was fascinating. If you're not current on your famous runners, Kara Goucher is an elite distance runner, 2 time Olympian, wife, and mother. Elite runners who manage to have babies and then make a comeback into running inspire me. She drops her 5 year old son off at school and then basically works out all day until she picks him up from school in the afternoon. Running is her full-time job! When I read about her exercise regime I thought it would be nice to be paid for all the effort I put into exercising! haha.

We bought two boxes of apples from one of the local fruit factories last week. That's at least 80 pounds of apples. $33 well spent. Apple butter time!

Conclusion: breathe deeply. Clean when absolutely necessary. Run. Write ideas. Hug kids. Take pictures. Read books. Eat food.

Take naps

Swing. Say hello to every Elsa.

take Legos away from the baby.

Oh, and MAKE APPLE BUTTER!

TRUTH

We basked in general conference this weekend and let me tell you, it was balm for my soul. I wasn't feeling especially needy or anything, but that doesn't mean I couldn't feast on the word! There were so many beautiful messages. For the whole eight hours of conference that I listened to, I felt this constant burning of TRUTH in my heart. The gospel is TRUE. Yes, I had a few specific thoughts and ideas from the talks and I'm so thankful for that inspiration. I also had a couple of favorite talks (can we say Elder Holland for the win again? but then there were President Eyring, President Nelson, and Elder Bednar too...). But the biggest "thing" (pardon the vague word) that I got out of general conference this weekend was a broad view of how beautiful and TRUE the gospel is.

Often I feel like I go through my daily life with narrow tunnel vision, bumbling along trying my best to make good decisions and follow the light up ahead. Every now and then, like when quietness and scripture study/prayer happen at the same time or when my kids do something great or ask me a good question, my tunnel vision widens and I get a brighter, broader view. Then it closes up again and I'm back to trundling along my little tunnel of life. Watching general conference at home with two kids and a baby wasn't exactly quiet and peaceful the whole time. But I did manage to get the volume loud enough to hear at least 80% of what was said. The words flowed over me and took me out of my narrow tunnel up to a hillside, and I saw such a beautiful view. The gospel is beautiful. It is TRUE! I felt that over and over all weekend. The new apostles are called of God. God knows us and loves us and takes care of us. Love, truth, and light: what a great weekend. 

Oh and the music! Powerhouse hymns all around. 

 Amber was curious at the beginning.

Rose loved the choirs. She recognized when they sang "I know that my Savior loves me" and came over and started singing along. It was so sweet.

 While Jeff was watching the priesthood session, I asked Jay and Rose what we should have for dinner. As usual, they said "MAC!" And to their complete joy, I agreed to make them some macaroni and cheese. They started dancing around the kitchen singing "mac and cheese! mac and cheese!"

 Getting the wiggles out before bedtime. What is it about bedtime that makes everyone go crazy?

 This was my cousin Preston Brown's first general conference singing in the MoTab. I took this quick picture of him and his dad, my Uncle Wes, singing together in the choir. Kind of cool! And who can resist a baby looking at the prophet? Well, she looks like she's looking at the prophet...she was probably looking at the TV buttons. But still.

Two words: conference wiggles! 

Family. Faith. Fall. 

Laaaa!