Amber has been counting down to her birthday for the past six months. Almost every day, she asked Alexa "how many days till fernember fourth?" and the digital assistant Alexa wouldn't understand what she said, so we'd explain how to say November again and eventually she'd get her birthday countdown out of Alexa. At last, Amber's day arrived, and she was vibrating with excitement and smiling her jack-o-lantern smile so wide with the knowledge that it was HER day.
Since I shared the November 4th birth date with both a good friend in high school and my college roomie, and now with my own daughter, it has rarely been my very own day. I like to think that as I get older, I am getting [marginally] better at sharing and at finding ways to take care of myself and make my birthday feel special. Last year I felt the need to celebrate my birthday on a completely different day than Amber, but this year that didn't feel as necessary. Actually, it just felt too tiring for me to select and stake my claim on November 3rd or 5th, decide how I wanted to celebrate, and then remind my family about it over and over. Instead, I took a sandwich approach to the day: Amber/Shaina/Amber. Amber was the bread, and I was the filling. We did Amber celebrations before and after school, and I did my own celebrations in the middle of the day. It worked, mostly.