March BOOKS

Ah, March: the first month of track season. A month spent adjusting to Jeff being gone 30 extra hours each week. This year's coping mechanism leaned much more heavily on the Netflix side of cushioning rather than the literary fluff as in the past. Survival is about doing what works NOW, and I struck out when it came to finding cute fun fictional fluff in March. But I found a rich vein of light sweet entertainment in the TV-14 East Asian Drama category on Netflix! I will not be listing and reviewing the many K-dramas and Chinese dramas (are they C-dramas?) that I watched in March, but suffice it to say that it was many. I read a modest ten books on the side.

My non-fiction book selections in March were far more successful than my fiction attempts. The three "real-world" books I read were meaningful, witty, thought-provoking, and inspiring, with a delicate dose of new information. 

Books I read in March:

1. The Heartbreaker I Adore by Haley Zaragoza: after her house burns down, girl moves in with her brother and tries to squash her lifelong love of her brother's best friend while he begins to like her. Sweet newly released sequel to The Nice Guy Next Door. Nothing fancy, but a fun light read.
2. Love in Bloom by Jenny Proctor: two  tour guides of historic Charleston compete for a magazine feature that comes with a big reward. Sweet and fun, with lots of interesting tidbits about the history of Charleston, SC thrown in. The author did a great job setting the scene, and I always enjoy books that make me feel like I'm not only visiting a new place, but also exploring it and getting to know it.
3. Pretending I Love Lucy by Julianne Christianson: Newly released third book in this darling series. Librarian girl agrees to help care for a patron's grandmother. The grandma assumes the girl is dating her grandson, and they play along to humor her potential dementia. Another fun story by this author. Nothing outstanding about it, but still a cute fun story with good writing.
4. The Secret Obituary Writer by Amy Martinsen: college student writes obituaries that tell the truth and gets stuck in the middle of a police investigation. Meh. Stilted awkward writing style that never flowed. Odd story. LAME.
5. Battleshipped by Savannah Scott: girl resists falling in love with her high school sweetheart five years later. Spoiler alert: she fails in her resistance. This was fine. It wasn't outstanding, but it was better than mediocre. I took almost a week to read it because the story did not capture me (and I was in the middle of watching the all-too-absorbing Meteor Garden on Netflix, haha).
6. Kingdom of Beauty: a retelling of Beauty and the Beast by Deborah Grace White: another take on my favorite fairy tale. This one had a dragon in it, and the beast's curse resolution was a little tangled and unsatisfying, but at least it was relatively well-written. Not interested in reading the other 5 fairy tale rewrites by this author.
7. Love Practically by Nichole Van: Victorian Scottish marriage of convenience story. Nichole Van draws such vivid characters with very realistic pain, recovery, and growth. Her careful writing and love of Scotland shows in every page. Even though I love and re-read several of Nichole Van's other books, I'm not sure this would be a re-read for me. It was very serious and historic, with just a splash of sweet romance.

Non-fiction:

1. The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter: part textbook part women's advice column, and part feminist manifesto from a gynecological perspective. A very interesting book. My biggest takeaway was how much men in the field of medicine have silenced women's medical needs over time. Dr. Gunter shows how far we've come, but also how far we have to go. The last section of this book details potential vaginal maladies and it was kind of boring and dictionary-ish. Overall this is a solid informational book, if not a cover-to-cover type of read. The author's snarky comments about the patriarchy in relation to women's health made me laugh! Every now and then, I thoroughly enjoy reading thoughts from a flaming feminist. It gives me perspective.
2. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb: memoir of a therapist who finds herself needing therapy. The author weaves stories of her patients with her own therapy journey into a beautiful poignant narrative that squeezed my heart almost painfully tight before letting it go to expand wider. I loved this book. She tucked in lots of therapeutic strategies and nuggets of wisdom that got me thinking about my own emotions and coping strategies. Fascinating. There is language of all colors, but the way it was delivered made it less offensive, since it's people sharing their experiences rather than dark evil pointless swearing (if I can make that distinction, I will). The occasional bad language didn't hurt the overall beautifulness of this book for me at all, amazingly. Highly recommend this one. I highlighted 53 different passages in this book!
3. Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: You can't go wrong with Brene Brown. She not only researches human emotion but also presents it in a very accessible way. This book is an atlas of the 47 recorded human emotions, put into groups, defined, and discussed in a beautifully meaningful way. I was on the library wait list for this November 2021 release for MONTHS! The audiobook became available first, so I listened to it. Partway through the audiobook, my library hold on the kindle version became available, so I shamelessly checked it out too, monopolizing both of our library's versions because this book needed both. I love how Brene Brown reads her own books for the audio recording. She adds little side comments and it's such a cozy personalized conversational style. I checked out the kindle book too so I could find and highlight as many of my favorite quotes as possible. 

Quotes from non-fiction:

"No woman has ever benefitted by learning less about her body." --Dr. Jen Gunter, The Vagina Bible

"There is also the problem of repetition. This is called the illusory truth effect: when incorrect information is repeated, it is more likely to be accepted as truth. Repetition of incorrect information is particularly problematic with our viral, story-obsessed 24/7 news cycle... we are exposed to these old wives’ tales so often that we come to believe there must be some truth to them—the illusory truth effect (repetition being mistaken for accuracy) is real." --Dr. Jen Gunter, The Vagina Bible

"I want every woman to have the power that comes with knowing how her body works and how to look for help when her body may not be working as she hoped it would. I want all women to know when there is bias and medical subterfuge, when there are lies, and when the patriarchy is just invested in keeping them frightened about their own normal (and I might add, glorious) bodily functions." --Dr. Jen Gunter, The Vagina Bible

"Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." --Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart

"I’ll never forget [grief expert David Kessler] saying this: 'Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn’t mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.'” --from Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart

"Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others. While gratitude is an emotion, if we want to experience its full power, we must also make it a practice. Over the past two decades, the research has taught me that, despite the catchy phrase “an attitude of gratitude,” gratitude is a practice. It’s tangible. An attitude is a way of thinking; a practice is a way of doing, trying, failing, and trying again." --Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart

Quotes from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb: This book was unlike anything I've ever read before. I could write an essay or three about each one of these quotes. It was incredibly hard to choose just six quotes out of the 53 I highlighted while reading this book. So much to ponder!

"...change and loss travel together. We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same." 

"“Not knowing is a good place to start,” he says, and this feels like a revelation. I spend so much time trying to figure things out, chasing the answer, but it’s okay to not know." 

"Jack Kornfield said: “A second quality of mature spirituality is kindness. It is based on a fundamental notion of self-acceptance.” In therapy we aim for self-compassion (Am I human?) versus self-esteem (a judgment: Am I good or bad?)."

"I particularly liked this line from Frankl’s book: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”"

"Forgiveness is a tricky thing, in the way that apologies can be. Are you apologizing because it makes you feel better or because it will make the other person feel better? Are you sorry for what you’ve done or are you simply trying to placate the other person who believes you should be sorry for the thing you feel completely justified in having done? Who is the apology for?"

"There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest. ...by diminishing my problems, I was judging myself and everyone else whose problems I had placed lower down on the hierarchy of pain. You can’t get through your pain by diminishing it...You get through your pain by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it. You can’t change what you’re denying or minimizing. And, of course, often what seem like trivial worries are manifestations of deeper ones."

Quotes from fiction:

"Liking Star Wars and liking Lord of the Rings is not the same. It’s Lord of the Rings or nothing at all." --Haley Zaragoza, The Heartbreaker I Adore 

Amen.

"I am not a prankster by nature. I’m maybe the opposite of a prankster. April Fool’s Day has always been my least favorite day because the thought of making other people uncomfortable to get a laugh has never felt like fun to me. Most pranks are just mean." --Jenny Proctor, Love in Bloom

This is exactly how I feel about April Fool's Day.