Home day

While we were getting ready to go to school this morning, Jay said he didn't want to go today. He sometimes says that but more in a hopeful, "I want to stay home and play" sort of tone. Today when he said it he also said "I need a break from the boys on the playground." His little chin got all wobbly and he teared up. When I asked him what they did, he said they tease him about playing with girls. Jay is so sweet and kind and fun that the girls all love playing with him. He's mentioned this teasing before, but I think it has affected him more this week because two of his friends from last year are joining in now. Traitors! If there's one thing Jay can't stand, it's betrayal of trust. Arg, those rude kids! Cue mama-bear hackles rising. Jay said that normally he just ignores their teasing and keeps playing. I told him that was a very good, brave thing to do. Rose piped up with "Jay, when I'm in school, I will play with you on the playground!" And tonight in her prayer before bed, she said "Please help the bullies on the playground to be nice to Jay." Jay has a champion.

I let Jay stay home from school today. I was concerned with setting a bad precedent and also concerned with letting Jay hide from problems. In my uncertainty, I said a quick, garbled mental prayer and it suddenly felt right to let him stay home. I'm finding that my philosophy with school is that yes, it's good to go most of the time, but if the kid needs a break or if school is damaging my child's aura, BOOM, day off! Stay home, recharge, nurture, nourish, feel loved and important, adjust and polish that armor, and then head back into the fray. I think a friend from our ward helped me come to that conclusion. She tries to give all of her kids "mental health" days off of school regularly, and I think that is a genius idea. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and when we're sick physically we stay home from school! The best way to stay mentally fit and healthy is to take time off every now and then too!

So this morning, we stopped right in the middle of the getting ready rush. We happened to all be in my bedroom, and we all lounged on the bed and snuggled. I held my big 6.5 year old boy and we talked. We talked about other kids and how to be brave and kind no matter how hard it is. We talked about some silly things he could say back to those rude kids: "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!" cliches and stuff. We talked about how sad it is that kids act mean sometimes. It felt so RIGHT to stop our morning rush and take time to think and connect. Jay needed it. He needed his mom and all the hugs and encouragement and comfort I could give him. So I did my best, hoping I was being and doing what was best for him right then. Even though Jay was sad, this morning was one of those sacred moments of motherhood that strengthen my conviction of the value of staying home and being there for my kids 100%. Nothing can replace together time. I am endlessly grateful for this beautiful, exhausting, fun, terrifying job and for these three precious humans that give me purpose, stretch me, teach me, and need me. 

Today Jay played with Rose, finished reading another Magic Treehouse book (#15 I think), snuggled with me, talked, relaxed, ate the lunch I had already packed for him, and watched Captain America with Rose in the afternoon. He said his favorite part of that movie was the music. It is good heroic music. We also built a giant wooden basilisk out of 300 citi blocks. We only had one tiny picture in the booklet to look at, and it took forever to build, but it turned out pretty awesome in the end.

 I remember wearing Mr. Potato Head glasses when I was little!

I feel like I'm on the verge of having to go "radio silent" about Jay's life, because he's getting older and it seems like an invasion of his privacy to share such personal concerns of his life outside our family. I read this wonderful article once about why parents of older kids need to be reserved. The reason it gave was because parents have to be their kids' one sure safe zone. In this turbulent world, kids have to be able to trust their parents with everything, and not have it revealed to the world. That idea really stuck with me, and I'm starting to feel the pull to move in that direction with Jay. I don't think he would be embarrassed or upset with me for sharing this...I hope I'm right! Once again I find myself toeing that elusive line between personal journal entry and bland blog post. I just really FEEL about this day and wanted to share some thoughts.