Long week

It was a long week around here. What better way bid it farewell than with a long blog post? Hah. All week things kept happening and I kept thinking "that would be a quick easy blog post" but I was too worn out and too grumpy to care much about blog posts, so today is a big fat everything post. 

Here’s a snapshot of the long parts:

• Jeff had parent teacher conferences on Monday and Wednesday. That means he left at 6am to run/bike to work like usual but didn’t get home until after 8pm.

• Amber woke up sporadically most nights this week, interrupting my REM cycle just enough to make me feel hazy and lethargic during the days.

• I had activity day this week with the 8-11 year old girls in our ward. Last time we got together, we had a record 16 girls show up, so I was bracing myself for a crowd this week, but for some reason only seven girls came. It was an activity where we actually needed more girls, so the whole thing didn’t work as well as I hoped. We practiced a Maypole dance which we will be performing in two weeks at a local retirement home. I hope at least those seven girls show up for the performance! If the other 9 come instead, we’ll be in for an interesting afternoon! I tried my best not to stress about all of this, but my default mode is CARRY! ALL! THE BURDENS! So it was emotionally draining.

• Of course Tuesday and Wednesday evenings it was also soccer for Jay and Rose. I had to borrow a car from Dan and Leslie to get to activity days so Jeff could take the kids to soccer on Tuesday. And then on Wednesday I flew solo with three kids at soccer. They had their games that night, so I spent the hour pushing Amber in the stroller back and forth across the crowded, bumpy grassy fields to alternate between watching Jay’s and Rose’s teams play. I couldn’t help feeling tired and frazzled through the whole evening.

• Oh, and Wednesday right before the onslaught of soccer games, Jay and Rose had dentist appointments since I forgot to take them in for their original appointments on Monday afternoon. I sat in the waiting room with Amber trying not to have horrific flashbacks of my own dental appointment last week wherein I had my first ever cavity filled and it was terrifying.

The Dentist:

  Jay was not excited about the dentist...until he got a balloon at the end of his cleaning! Rose of course was hyper-over-the-moon about the entire event, especially the balloon. The nice secretary (who happens to be our neighbor--love small town living) gave Amber a balloon too even though she didn't get her teeth cleaned.

 Three balloons in one house has made for a whole lot of chaos. I must admit that I don't love helium balloons because they ghost around the house, sneak up behind me, and tickle me with their dangling ribbons. It freaks me out! Especially at night--I've taken to tying down the balloons or locking them up at night so I don't have a heart attack when I walk down the hall in the dark.

 Clean teeeeeeth!

Amber always wants to be included. "EEEEEE!" she says.

Soccer games: 

Jay's team played Spencer's team. (Spencer: purple shirt, sunglasses) We love Spencer.

In preparation for the famished post-soccer bottomless pit bellies I knew I'd have to feed, I packed a thermos full of hot dogs in hot water and whipped up some quick dinner in the parking lot after the games. Everyone was done eating by the time we got home six minutes later. Boom. Point for SuperMom!

 Dinner of champions: hot dogs, carrots, and chocolate chip yummy bars. Due to a particularly gruesome pregnancy experience two years ago, I refrained from eating a hot dog myself and had dinner after the kids went to bed.

Those are the EVENTS of the week, now on to the other everyday type obstacles that made the week long:

• Amber has been perfecting the Boneless technique as described in the book Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. If I pick her up when she doesn’t want me to, she goes totally boneless (aka stretches her arms up and goes all limp) and it’s all I can do to hold onto her armpits. That is exasperating in itself, but she has also taken to yelling/crying in a most demanding, LOUD way while I make her meals—she knows I’m making her food, but she MUST add to the chaos and stress of the situation by cranking up the volume with her urgent vocal contribution. Oh, and she only napped for 20 minutes on Tuesday.

• Messes: toys, dress-up clothes, books, play food, crayons, markers, papers, blankets, crumbs, stuffed animals, pillows, etc. It all just mixes together and gets so overwhelming to my orderly mind. Monday I was totally amazing and tidied up in the evening and felt great afterwards, but that was the end of that. The frazzled-exhaustion-lemmejustsitdown mode kicked in after Monday and that restful evening tidy-up fell by the wayside, and no Good Samaritan came to the rescue.

• Ratty Barbie hair: ok, I know I really should get over it and accept it, but ratty matted Barbie hair totally stresses me out. Rose and Layne removed Rapunzel’s braid and I had to cut a hair tie out of Elsa’s hairdo, resulting in disaster-haystack-hair that makes my blood pressure rise whenever my eyes flit across the prone Barbie forms on the floor. 

SHUDDER.

• Rose has been really upping her Boss Mommy Around game along with her Be the Mother mode. I don’t succumb to her demands and bossing, but it does wear on the ole patience and it often feels like I’m under attack all day long. Rose keeps up a constant barrage of “Mommy, will you do this?” and “Can I have that?” over and over all day long. I WANT to be there and do things with her, but she has an insatiable appetite for all her favorite activities. It doesn’t matter if I just read a stack of stories and did an art project with her, next up she wants to play Barbies and then paint fingernails etc. On my deeper level I recognize the sweetness and fleeting nature of this companionship we have right now, but that does not change the feeling of being stretched thin! I try to do some things with Rose but I hate how I have to say no repeatedly to her requests—it makes me feel like a bad parent, even though I KNOW that we’ve already done lots of things and I do need time to recoup and run a household. 

• Rose’s Be the Mother mode: Rose has taken to telling Jay and Amber what to do/not do, like she’s the mother. I’m constantly reminding her that it’s not her job, it’s my job, but the whole interaction is just another conflict between us! I want to have happy positive interactions with my Rose girl, but there are too many demands! I feel utterly spent after a day of it, and the relief I feel when it’s afternoon naptime for Amber and movie time for Rose is a source of mom-guilt. 

• The ever-present looming laundry: needs no explanation, although I actually feel like I’m handling it better than I used to. Maybe because I stopped using cloth diapers.

• Library visit with a rampaging one year old: I REALLY wanted to go to the library on Friday, so I took the girls in. I neglected to strap Amber the Tornado into the stroller. It turned into a series of power-walk-sprints between the section I was browsing and Amber’s latest target. Stress-central! 

Coping--ok, I don't like that word. It makes me sound like I have no joy and all I did this week was trudge. While I did my fair share of trudging, I also employed various mood-boosting techniques when possible to keep my morale up.

• Outlet-vent-writing in the afternoons: Two days this week when the girls were napping/watching a movie, I felt so FULL to the brim with various emotions, mostly the peeved and worn out kind. So I sat down at the computer and poured them into words. It was immensely therapeutic. One of my favorite quotes about writing is from the creepy Flannery O’Connor when she said “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” The lady may have written a gruesome, odd collection of short stories, but at last she had this one thing right. I thought I was sitting down to vent all  of my frustrations out on those afternoons, but what ended up coming out while I tried to structure my vent was something else entirely. It was fascinating to read what I wrote! All about dreams and writing and compliments and believing. Writing in that stream of consciousness style was cathartic. I love this line from the book I’m currently reading: “I think it worthy of note that I never felt happier in my life—despite sorrow…pity…embarrassment... Perhaps it is because I have satisfied my creative urge” (from I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith, p.11). So applicable. Writing is a creative outlet for me, and satisfying my creative urge really does improve my mood. At last—a reasonable reason for my loquacity! 

• Evening run: on Tuesday after the stress of teaching the Maypole dance, and after the kids went to bed, I went on a five mile run to shake out the tension. It started out as a four mile run, but I needed some extra quiet alone time, so I extended it. Running at dusk is peaceful and refreshing: the perfect remedy for a stressful afternoon. I was very tired before I left, but I was definitely glad I ran. Running just HELPS with everything. Except the tiredness, I guess—haha. I have been running regularly (minus pregnancies) since I was eleven years old, and running is my reset button. My body knows what to do when I run and running resets me and cleanses me from all the STUFF. I’ve read that good writing avoids vague words like “stuff,” but just this once I shall flaunt that deliberately vague word and give no further elaboration. That’s one of the joys of writing for fun: I make the rules. Muahahaha.

• Bookworm Bookstore: on Tuesday I ventured to my favorite/the only used book shop in the Tri Cities. The store is awesome because it has a corner with a well stocked play kitchen to amuse small children while the parents browse. I selected a nice tall stack of Beverly Cleary books since she’s my current idol. I can’t believe I went this long without owning the Ramona books! And the Henry Huggins ones too! And they were only $1.25 apiece. Well done, Bookworm, you have so many things right.  
• Beverly Cleary side note: I recently read her two memoirs—what a fascinating and inspiring lady. I loved reading a firsthand account of her youth. She is a true kindred spirit, especially when it comes to basketball. She wrote: "I enjoyed school, but not physical education...when trapped into playing basketball, I made my own rule: always run away from the ball."* Reading her memoirs basically made us best friends. In the words good ole Dawsey Adams, "His writing has made him my friend."** That's exactly how I feel about Beverly Cleary.
  *Beverly Cleary, A girl from Yamhill, p. 184; **M. A. Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, page # uncertain

• On Friday morning I indulged in a two hour phone call with my Mom. It was everything I needed. My mom has a genius for healing my battered careworn psyche and building me UP UP UP so I feel like I can plunge back into the fray with renewed courage after I talk with her.

• Reading: my favorite escape. I'm currently reading I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith and Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine. I am fascinated by books about writing--whether they're stories about people who write for fun or the "this is how I write" type. I also have that satisfying stack of Ramona books waiting, plus I borrowed the next Mary Russell mystery from the library's ebook lending site and it's all queued up on my Kindle. So much reading material, so little time!

• I made brownies from scratch for the first time in my life on Friday. Miraculously, they taste good, and I even made frosting for them which actually worked. I never thought I'd manage to make a successful batch of frosting!

The Good parts, with pictures:

Cute cousins matching on Monday: Rose and Layne are such sweet friends in their flowery dresses.

I found deals on two of my fave Eddie Bauer shirts (hello, Mother’s Day sale) 

My Bookworm used book finds on Tuesday were delightful.

Visiting and chatting with my friend on Wednesday while our kids played. She is a kindred spirit in so many ways. 

On Thursday, Rose rode her bike while I ran and pushed Amber in the stroller. It was a fun mother-daughter outing. We went 3.5 miles! I have wanted to run while my kids ride bikes for a while—it’s SO much easier than pushing them in the stroller. Jay never learned to pedal well enough before he started school, though, so I had my first bike-n-run experience with Rose is and we both loved it.

 In an attempt to be more fun, I tied Rose's dentist balloon to her handlebars.

 The sage rats live in hundreds of little holes in the dirt along the sides of the bike path. We scared dozens of them into the ground.

Book club on Thursday night: always a highlight

Squishy baby legs and funny Husband text on Friday--Jeff accidentally packed my jeans instead of his own jeans to change into after he biked to work. It made for an amusing text exchange.

Two hour phone call with my dear Mom on Friday: she is SO WONDERFUL.

Figuring out and ordering Jay’s perfect birthday gift on Friday--squeal of excitement!

Trampoline time with the girls on Friday:

I read an entire cute little Beverly Cleary book—Socks—to myself on Friday night

I went on a glorious 9 mile run through thousands of yellow wildflowers on Saturday, up on the Yakima Skyline Rim trail. Talk about a nature high! The flowers! The views! Laaa! I was so refreshed by the beauty and fresh air and VIEWS. I love Jeff for giving me Saturday morning--he knows what I need, and I was craving some serious alone time after this long week. I was gone for five hours, driving out to the trail (1 hour), running and drinking in the scenery (2.5 hours), stopping at the library (half an hour), and then driving home (1 hour). Books, nature, and running: pure Shaina-therapy.

I went to the Yakima Library book sale at the library where Beverly Cleary worked in 1940 on Saturday after my run. It was such a fun pilgrimage—I’m a total author-fangirl. A little research has shown me that the library building I visited was actually built 19 years after Beverly Cleary moved away, when several libraries were combined to save administration costs. Oh well, they did have a little display out front saying happy 100th birthday to her.

Thursday evening family frolick in the soccer field. After dinner, Jay asked if we would go run around the soccer field with him, so we hauled our full post-dinner tummies out there and played a game of tag. 

We capped off our long week with stake conference for church today. I will refrain from saying anything else on the subject. We took a family picture for fun before church and a kid picture for fun after the crazy squirm-a-thon at stake conference.

All in all, I’d say the good outweighs the bad from this long week. This list helped me see the good parts better and box up the bad parts. I had a semi-profound thought about that while I was running up the trail yesterday. The first three miles were straight up hill and I told myself that I’d enjoy looking at the pretty flowers on the way back down—the going was too rough and tough for me to look to the side of the rocky trail and appreciate delicate flowers. Then I realized that once I was coming back down, I’d be going too fast to really see the little flowers. Moral of the story: enjoy the good parts even (especially!) during the tough rocky slow parts because when things smooth out again, sometimes we start coasting too fast to remember to stop and see the beauty of the moment. Please oh please let me remember that next time we have a long week.