Stake Conference

Surviving a Sunday at church has been harder since we added a baby to the mix and started meeting at 1pm. I have to admit, it’s daunting to go when I know it means 3 exhausting hours of holding a baby and trying to keep her content and quiet, not to mention feeding her and managing the other kids. It often feels pointless at the end of church, like why did we even go? I’ve been feeling rather discouraged on Sunday evenings lately, especially last week when Jeff was sick and I went to church solo with three kids and no binky.

Today was stake conference for us. That means we had morning church at the ideal time: 10am. Yay! We had to drive 45 minutes to get there, since it was being held in the Tri Cities. Stake conference is always a long two hours. It’s always a struggle to make it through, especially with kids. But Jeff and I resisted the temptation to stay home today. There is power in being in the right place at the right time—standing in holy places, if you will. I know that but normally it usually doesn’t change my frazzled state at the end of church. Today I actually felt uplifted during stake conference, and it took me off guard in the midst of the back row scuffles and other demands of parenthood.

It’s been a while since I “got something” out of church. Usually there is too much kid-wrangling, tangling, and [hopefully not] strangling going on for me to really catch more than bits and pieces of talks. I have found that the best way to handle this is not to stress about listening. Church is not about me right now. It’s about teaching my kids to go to church, how to behave at church, and to feel good at church. Today was no different, but I was lucky enough to hear most of our dear stake president’s talk at the very end of the two hour meeting (a miracle, I know).

Our stake president is a great guy. Jeff and I got to know him when he was our company leader on the youth handcart trek 2 years ago. When I was deathly sick and pregnant last year, he called me to see how I was doing. I could hardly believe he had the time/memory to do that! Basically, he is inspiring and humble and good.

My favorite thing that he said today was this: he told about a recent Sunday when he and his wife took their grandchildren to church without the parents and how challenging it was to handle a two year old all through sacrament meeting. He then said thank you to all of the mothers who keep bringing their children to church and teaching them the gospel, even though it’s hard. This simple part of his message was JUST what I needed to hear. I feel like we Mormons like to get up and give talks about the ideals: how we should go to the temple all the time, do family history all the time, do extra projects for our callings all the time, and somehow after all that, still have lots quality time to spend with our families and be patient stellar parents, etc., etc., etc. There are plenty of people who seem able to pull this off, but I prefer a more realistic approach. Of course we have high standards, callings to fill, people to serve, and we do try to be better each day, but I have been craving a down-to-earth talk acknowledging how yes, it is hard to be in the trenches of parenthood and yes, family is the highest priority. At the same time, I loved how he said that we often complain about the very experiences that are given to refine us. We are here on this earth to learn and grow, not complain about it!

So the big happy heart-swelling lesson that I had today was a classic rephrased: just keep going to church, just keep loving my kids, just keep living the gospel, just keep trying my best, and stop complaining!