G-BE’D

Did you know that I have a business? Well, it’s a pretend business. The kind that doesn’t sell things. It’s called Goofy But Effective Designs (pronounced Gee-Bee’d for short and for fun). I invented it last year to embellish my homemade Christmas gifts and make them seem less homely. I like writing up goofy little adverts on the fake tags to my pet inventions. Then I wrap them up and foist them off on my family and friends.

Remember last year’s GBED product?

[my brother Brad with the prototype]

The now-legendary Beard Bonnet made a brief appearance this year at our friends’ white elephant gift exchange. I really like making people laugh.

THIS year:

I love wearing my gauntlets while running in the cold! They really do work wonders. Jeff likes them too. I should apply for a patent.

My Dad, my  husband, and my mother-in-law received the gauntlets for Christmas. Today I got an email from my Dad—he invented a sweet pretend  press release/newspaper article/history book entry for my gauntlets! I quote:

“It's official. The Gauntlet wrist warmers have been named new product of the year by the widely respected, much revered, Federation of Inventions Benefiting Long Extremities (FOIBLE). Yes, FOIBLE now proclaims that the only minor weakness in having long extremities while running distances in cold weather has now been overcome: cold wrists are a thing of the past thanks to The Gauntlet's inventor, Shaina White. Ms. White's invention came to her as a flash of warmth flooded over her body one day when her wrists accidentally became uncharacteristically warm while scraping the last bits of peanut butter from a jar. The epiphany hit her: "wrists are the thermostat of the body". Further empirical studies have confirmed her breakthrough discovery. Recently, at the FOIBLE national convention honoring her, she calmly proclaimed: "If you want your entire body to be warm, just make sure your wrists are warm!" Yes, The Gauntlet is not merely a new product extraordinaire, it represents the opening of an entirely new field of science already called Thermal Carpal Engineering. As with any new scientific breakthrough, this one is built on its own foundation of breakthrough thought. Yes, this a moment not unlike when the theory of relativity was brilliantly proclaimed. All Thermal Carpal Engineers of the future will marvel at the day when the theorem on which their discipline is built was discovered. It will be widely know as the WATOB Theorem ("Wrists Are Thermostat Of Body") as first discovered by Ms. White. History will loudly applaud December 25, 2012, not just as the invention date of The Gauntlet, but as the birth of Thermal Carpal Engineering. Each year on that day, Thermal Carpal Engineers everywhere will unite to loudly proclaim "WATOB, WATOB, WATOB"!!!!!”

And then, Auntie Shaina made some fleece booties for the Laynie-bug:

[pattern]

I found these patterns online, so they aren’t technically from my company. But they’re still cool, and I can’t believe that someone as sewilliterate as me managed them. It took a lot of puzzling and outside-the-boxing.

Next up we have the indoor snowball fight—another Pinterest gem. This gift was for my nephews, Steve and Dan. I sewed 20 circles out of white fleece and stuffed them to make the snowballs. Then I whipped up a quick drawstring bag to hold them and a clever little tag to label ‘em. Well, Jay, Rose, Jeff, and I had SO much fun testing these babies out that I actually sat down and sewed another 20 fleece circles and stuffed them so we could have our own set!

These things FLY when you chuck them and they don’t hurt, even when you get a faceful. Quite possibly my favorite family game to play with little kids.

Now for the easier, non-sewn items.

Cardboard and paper! My brother Brad is 6’7’’. He lives in a basement with LOW doorways that are the bane of his cranium. I was going to make him a doorframe cushion, but I didn’t want to make the doorway even lower than it already is. So I settled for this factory-style accident counting sign. The numbers 0-9 are on cards behind each clip, so the sign can be updated.

Ah, and then there were the Bobbleheads. These guys were of my own design with a little technical tip from Pinterest.

Here they are in action.

I gave away an entire batch of peppermint bark popcorn to our ward’s devoted Primary workers and a few friends.

And that completes 2012’s Christmas craftiness!
What on EARTH am I going to do in January?